[zamland]

I have a different interpretation. Most of the muscles that a parent gives to a child are the structured muscles to prevent one from failing. College, grad school are in some sense insurance. Therefore most of the upper middle class upbringing is guaranteeing insurance of a person's middle life or retirement.

Whereas the muscles that you learn from being independent are the muscles from conceptualizing, taking risks, creating, and learning from the experience. This is a completely different muscle than previous set of muscles.

It's not really about letting go or being too controlling. It's about building the right set of mental models so that someone can guide and create their own lives.