> social media ensures we're constantly exposed to the highlight reel of people's lives and that's leaving some feeling like they're not quite making the most of their time on this mortal coil.
Social media and the internet has made it incredibly easy to see the various people out there who are in the top of their league at any particular hobby, vocation or activity, and made it seem like that's the 'norm'.
If you're an entrepreneur, it can feel like everyone's making millions off their startup ideas and that anyone who isn't is a failure. If you're a web developer, it can seem like the majority of developers are experts in every one of the latest trendy languages and frameworks and that you suck for not being like that. If you're making a game, you might end up judging your worth in comparison to say, the makers of Minecraft or Pokemon GO.
But keep in mind that these are outliers by default. The top percentage of people in a field are overrepresented online and even then, they mostly only post about the things going well in their lives.
Most people are average, and for any one thing you're interested in, there will almost always be many millions of others who are either better or worse than you at it.
And hey, you don't have to be 'great' or even 'good' at something to be successful in it. Many people who were 'average' in a field ended up doing really well in it regardless. Maybe they had a good team, maybe they put in a stupid amount of time, maybe they simply had the right idea at the right point in time. You can just as easily be an expert or prodigy toiling away in obscurity as you can a celebrity with few skills to speak of.
Let's take game development as one example. You can feel mediocre because you wrongfully compare your progress and success against outliers like Minecraft. However I don't think most people who want to be good at game development are ignorant of what an outlier is. It doesn't take much to learn how big the climb is once you start.
The real difficulty is that the tools have been democratized. The market is flooded with games from developers of all skill levels. Even the most niche games have so many options that most games have trouble distinguishing themselves from the competition. It can be disheartening to realize that your most unique and amazing idea is not unique or novel in most respects and that it will be competing in a pool of several thousand games with similar ideas.
The other difficult factor is that the greatest games make the appearance of being simple and effortless. We only see the end result... not the 200 games the developer made before releasing the one we noticed. The myth that genius is a gift you are born with can certainly make most of us feel mediocre.
That's even before we get to fear of failure, social pressure, and market pressure! Many people want to be good game developers but they also want to feed their family and give their kids a good education... so they only have so much time in their lives to dedicate to improving and developing. Even if they are full-time game developers many of the same fears apply.
It's the tyranny of being just smart enough to know how much you don't know. It can also be a comfort though if you're not worried about being the stand-out genius and just like doing good work.
> social media ensures we're constantly exposed to the highlight reel of people's lives
Perhaps because I don't use FB, IG, YouTube, Twitter, etc... I only see the real-world reflection of social media and it looks miserable.
For example, when I visit Key West people can stand in line for upwards of an hour to take a photo in front of the "Southern Most Point". I mean these people are in paradise and have the look of misery on their face, all just so they can put on a fake smile for a selfie, presumably just so they can post this "highlight" to social media. Instantly when the photo is done the smile disappears and they start swiping thru the results of their photos just hoping they got at least one that conveys whatever image they are hoping to convey (I am good looking, I am happy, I am in front of this famous landmark). This is not to say there are not life experiences worth a wait in line, and may be the juice is worth the squeeze with social media, but the real world counter-part just looks sad.
Right there's my problem. I don't have a Facebook account at all, and my Twitter account has been rotting idle for a few years now. All I really stay active with is LinkedIn, but I've been in the corporate world long enough to not really care where people are on the pyramid any longer. You're telling me I need to make a FB account to feel like shit about myself? :)
I'd even go so far as to say all people are average, in some aspect or another. Nobody is the top of every single aspect. Nobody. Not even Elon Musk :)
I don't think I compare myself to peeps on social media so much. Rather I compare to my friends and peers most of whom are not active on social media.
One friend is president of a 200 person top rated game dev company. Another is head of 20+ people on the graphics tech division of one of the top video game series. Another was the lead architect of one of the latest generation game consoles. Two other friends have successful 30+ person game companies. Another 4 have successful 5-10 person indie game companies. Other is now a CTO at a popular international gaming PC company. Another is a famous game professor at a top university.
Of course I'm only listing the standouts. Most friends are living more average lives.
Then theres my failing at relationships where others have lovers and families something I can't seem to manage to find a match for. Of course I don't envy all of them only the ones that seem to be doing well.
None of that has anything to do with social media.
>Social media and the internet has made it incredibly easy to see the various people out there who are in the top of their league at any particular hobby, vocation or activity, and made it seem like that's the 'norm'.
I had to quit social media altogether because it was driving me insane with frustration, anger and envy. I was in a real dark place and it seemed that everyone else around me was living in a completely different world than I was, quitting facebook and the like was the best thing I've ever done for my mental health.
Thankfully things are much better now, unfortunately I had to sacrifice a lot of relationships who relied exclusively on social media as a means of contact.
>In other words, don't worry too much about it.
I will have to disagree on this, at least when it comes to being a developer. I think the bar has been raised so high by the startup culture and the Google's and Amazons of the world that it feels like if you want to get hired nowadays you have to be above average, as a proof look at the current hiring process for developers.Being a mediocre hard worker is not gonna cut it. It seems like EVERYONE wants to hire nothing but the best of the best: you need to be a "Ninja", a "Rockstar", code in your free time, as well as know all kinds of algorithms like the back of your hand....As a mediocre, slow-witted developer I tried really hard to stay afloat even taking on desperate meassures like pumping myself full of adderall in order to study for interviews.Frankly I am now burned out, I find this environment so toxic that I'm seriously considering leaving development once my current contract has finished.
Social media and the internet has made it incredibly easy to see the various people out there who are in the top of their league at any particular hobby, vocation or activity, and made it seem like that's the 'norm'.
Or, because they can curate exactly what you see on Facebook or Instagram, and they make it look like they are at the top of the league.
In my mid-twenties I had this peak of "I'm going to make the next Facebook for cats and it's going to be amazing". After repeatedly trying to have an enjoyable life and make the aforementioned Catbook* I realised that I'm actually pretty OK with not being super duper rich and famous. I quite like being out to chill out and watch some dumb youtube crap. Or actually spend time with my partner. Or put my health (running, sleeping a good amount, not using a computer too much etc) above some violent need to succeed.
In my early thirties I've now taken two pay cuts to move to jobs that I thought would be more enjoyable, as opposed to more important / prestigious / success signifying.
I still tinker around and would like to produce something all on my own, but I don't really care if I don't. What I'm doing now for someone else is important enough.
*Not actually it, obviously I'm not a complete failure
That is harder to achieve that state of mind in the larger more expensive cities. Everything around you always remind you how poor you are. I'm not talking about the luxury thing, but stuff like renting/buying a flat were you have enough space for your hobby while not commuting for crazy hours. Paying for nursery, ... And of course, your monkey brain require constant reminder that you don't actually care about whatever new stuff everything else seems to care about.
Then I have had the opportunity to work for a few months in the middle of nowhere. (i.e. rural Spain) Having a relaxed perspective was way easier without the constant reminder of your financial inadequacy.
I personally don't have ambitions to be famous or even super rich. The only thing I want is "creative freedom". In my career I've had it 3 times (and it was the most enjoyable times i can think of in my career), all three times the project was shut down or some change happened for one reason or another, and I was moved to something where I had basically little or no control of the code I wrote. At first, I questioned my abilities as an engineer, but two of the projects were decently successful by most measures. My drive comes from trying to get that freedom back, and to be in a position where it can't be taken. It's not easy to obtain.
Normally when people ask me why us Danes are considered the happiest people in the world I always answer the same way.
We have no aspirations and are totally fine with living a mediocre life. The entire society is based on that (with the high level of wealth redistribution)
Good enough is almost the definition of Danish working culture.
It's not for everyone (I moved) but it sure is a good quality of life.
"Over there you think of nothing but becoming President of the United States some day. Potentially every man is Presidential timber. Here it's different. Here every man is potentially a zero. If you become something or somebody it is an accident, a miracle."
I really like that. But the thing is, even if we Europeans are still quite protected from the outside world the outside world is still there. And there are always people who try to take what you have. So having some fighting skills is also necessary, I think. Life is not just about finding happiness.
It's absolutely important to your well-being and happyness to understand when something is enough and to be at ease with what you have.
Hedonistic tendancies teaches you to want more and more, you never appreciate what you have because once you have got it you want the next thing. It becomes a zero sum game and you've probably just sacrificed a whole heap of your precious time and health to achieve it.
Many people fall trap to trying to beat others in what they have / what they do.
They see their friend has a bigger house, they want a bigger house.
They see their friend had a big weddding, they want a bigger wedding.
They see their friend earns X a year, they want to earn X + Y a year.
Remember, there are 7 billion people on the planet, you will probably not be the richest ever, so learn to be happy with what you have.
This is not to say do not strive for improvement, just allow yourself to be happy.
Travel to a country where the average monthly salary is what equates to a few US dollars to do some charity/mission/volunteer work. Problem solved, at least for people who have a heart, which is most thankfully. We need to actively seek to humble ourselves. Now what I gave is an extreme example that only few have the heart or time/money to do, but the lesson is the same -- help those out who are less fortunate than you (other than sending money). It really puts things into perspective.
"Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid."- Einstein
"Mediocrity" arises only when compared.
And comparison is plain stupid. My genes are different. The life circumstance through which I have gone through are different. My responses to various stimuli are different. My pleasure points are different. My pain points are different. My memory is different. The things that I consider important in my life are different.Every single thing about me is different from that of anybody else in this world. And yet, if I want to compare myself to some other person on a specific domain, I should be plain stupid.
Instead I would happily compare myself with myself. Am I giving my personal best? Am I getting paid in 'currencies that are important to me'?
Life is not single subject course. It is a multi disciplinary course. One may have ideas about becoming the greatest entrepreneur, the greatest artist or the greatest politician. But not many people talk about being a great child, being a great brother, being a great husband, being a great friend, being a great father or being a great grand father.
You may think that you got an "A' in a particular subject. But you may be a complete failure in other. If you are OK with it, no issues. But make sure that you scored 'A' in subjects that you thought important, and not someone else thought important.
I would love to believe that there is no such thing as 'Mediocrity'. The greatest tragedy is to not have lived the life that you wanted to live.
Mediocre, or just average? Mediocre implies something, like you're lazy, not trying your best or otherwise leaving something on the table that you should grab. The outcome is being average, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. I have for sure been gunning for the next promotion, but I've started to question my motives there - I'm director level now, and is the personal sacrifice really worth it to keep moving up?
I started to do the math for us. Public school starts in 2 years, there's $1000/mo back in our bank account (private pre-k/preschool now). My federal student loans can "only" go another 18 years max. Mortgage will stick around, but isn't terrible. Cars are paid off. And my wife stays at home, which was a goal for us (she was a director too, that was a fun adjustment financially). Right now I spend every dollar that comes through the door on mostly non-optional things. Some months a little more. But I'm realizing that in terms of financial obligation, I may be at or near my high water mark. I never realized that before. If I never get another promotion, we'd likely be just fine, even improving financially over the next decade or two.
So the question becomes, do I really need to hit VP or whatever other level? It's not to say I don't work hard now, but I mostly leave the office to get home by 5. I take all of my vacation time and wish I had more. Maybe I have the potential to keep moving up, maybe I don't, but the question is really becoming more whether I'm willing to put in more time and energy here, rather than outside of work. I think I'm pretty good at what I do, but does that obligate me to go as hard as I can at that thing I do pretty well, and subjugate everything else just a little more? I don't think it does.
I completely agree with your viewpoint. Sometimes you have to weigh the time commitment required to get more money against the time you currently have.
For me, the more off time I can get, the better. It's not that I'm lazy, but it's just that I'd rather enjoy what life has to offer while I can. But if I feel that I can get more money and satisfaction that's worth it, I'd go for it.
Seriously, everyone should read The Underachiever's Manifesto: The Guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great[1] (after they turn 18, in hopes it doesn't encourage them to drop out :). I'd recommend getting a used hard copy and placing it on your coffee table. It's a quick and humorous read that helps bring the lighter side of things back into perspective.
It's really irritating when somebody recommends a book that really interests me but I simply can't afford it here in India. My wish list is getting longer and longer with each new book costing more than the cost of a whole weeks worth of meals. Not one to download PDFs illegally or to read them on Kindle, which again is not guaranteed to be within my means, I greatly limited in my accessibility to paperbacks of my liking.
The original Peter Principle book ends with a look at various degrees of dropping out and managing happiness before you reach your own success plateau. The book seems dated, but it's a classic.
It appears folks are in fact purchasing the used copies as the used copy price has risen $4-$5 since I posted the above. There is a kindle version too for $4.99 (no shipping costs and immediately available on kindle cloud reader, but you can't have a physical reminder sitting on your coffee table).
There is a serious error in this article: by definition and etymology, "mediocre" means "in the middle, average, ordinary", absolutely not "the worst possible quality".
The "tyranny of excellence" undeservedly pushed "mediocre" meaning for many people down towards "bad", but "mediocre" isn't really bad; it's just barely average.
Hits home for me. Life expectations people. You're not great, your 35 and your farther is still not driving your Porche as he always wanted. But hey, you have a house, income and food every day. How beautiful is that?
Mediocre or not, my personal view is that everyone should envision themselves as the person they want to be.
Being mediocre may or may not prevent you from achieving your highest goals, but believing in your mediocrity will prevent you from setting out to achieve those goals in the first place.
Tell yourself what a badass you are every day, surround yourself by the kind of people you want to be, and keep persisting until you get what you want or are simply satisfied by the effort you put it.
There are plenty of roadblocks between you and your dreams that are completely out of your control - and the question of whether you believe in yourself doesn't have to be one of them.
The vast majority of people on the planet are mediocre, and many people seem happy about it; or rather, if they're unhappy then they're unhappy about other things rather than their own mediocrity.
But then you've got the interviewee for this article, who is probably not happy with her own mediocrity. You can tell this by how hard she insists that she is. People who are genuinely happy with their mediocrity don't go around blogging about it -- in fact, they don't think about it.
I think you're mistaking someone who's happy but ignorant of their mediocrity, and someone who's aware of their own mediocrity but learned to still enjoy life despite the knowledge of their own condition.
I'd say many people are aware (in some form or another) that they are in the middle of the Gaussian curve, but live perfectly "happy life". If such a thing exists, since I've yet to encounter someone "normal".
Many people come to realize their mediocrity after spending enough time under the sun. Accepting this realization and learning to be happy with it takes time -- especially at the beginning.
Or it's better for the cadence and call to action of the article for her to join in and act as if she is also mediocre and okay about it, so you should too. So she makes the claim, regardless of her actual belief (she might sort of believe it, too).
The dominant ideology of Western aesthetics in life is existentialism: the idea of excelling by your own definition. But in order for this to be meaningful, "your definition" has to be socially informed, and yet by construction, it's not part of the theory. In some sense there's an essential tension between the need to be free and the need to not be insane. Unfortunately, succeeding according to a socially-informed but ill-defined set of criteria basically always reduces to being socially successful in one way or another, and it might be cheeky, but it's true, to point out that this is a perfectly reasonable metric of success... for philosophers. However, the fact is that everyone can't be socially successful, and the result is that many people who are motivated by existentialism in its popular form end up unsuccessful and unhappy.
Note that "social success" does not mean socializing; Paul Dirac was extremely socially successful, yet nearly incapable of socializing. And despite this it strikes me that he would have been less happy if he had not been one of the greatest physicists in history: introversion or even (possibly) autism is no antidote to vanity.
In light of this people point the blame at social media, but don't ideas matter?
The article gets it at the end even if the author doesn't appear to: in order to talk about mediocrity on an absolute scale you have to be thinking of achievement on an absolute scale, and that a flawed approach no matter what percentile you are at. Achievement, and happiness, and other metrics of utilitarian outcomes, should be measured in context, against your inclinations and potential and situation. Trying to grade yourself against an average or aggregate scale will not only be disappointing, it won't even help you accomplish the right things for yourself.
There has been a scientific study about what makes people "happy" [1]. It's even something we can easily test personally: relationships. No matter what, relationships create that emotional swing that makes our lives interesting (assuming a psychologically "healthy" person, by today's standards).
That said, how many people actively pursue relationships? To me a person who has tons of friends (the kind you spend time with on trips etc. not the kind you text every once in a while to see how they are doing) but works a frustrating 9-5 job at a bank is definitely not someone I'd look up to. On the other hand a person who is extremely successful in his field, wins the most prestigious award in that field, but does not (again, by today's standards) live a healthy life does not set a good example either [2]. So what's the optimal situation?
And appearances don't help. I have no idea whether Elon Musk (since he was mentioned in another comment) is happy. I just know he looks successful. In my mind he's the kind of guy that enters a room and automatically and instantly gets the respect and admiration of the "smart" people in there. Does he even care about that? Am I being tricked into seeing Elon Musk as a status symbol like I'm tricked into seeing the iPhone as one of the best smartphones out there?
Happiness is definitely more complex than accepting what you do as "special". Accepting your current situation is a great way to start clearing up the cloud of things you consider important but if that was really the way to be happy why would we even bother improving ourselves or society? I hate to say this but I almost feel like this is the classic story of the fox and the grapes. When the fox can't reach the grapes says they are not ripe.
What if happiness was about pursuing something, regardless of the end result?
>I put it to her that all of that doesn't sound very average to me.
>She pauses and laughs sheepishly. "I guess it just depends on who you're comparing me to."
That's the key thing. If I compare myself to the average person, I'm obviously not "mediocre". However, compared to some people who (I think) have had similar opportunities and potential, I probably am.
I really have to internalize this message. I always feel like I have to be better and smarter than everyone around me just to feel adequate. I guess that's one characteristic of insecurity.
Is this why romantic relationships seem to kill ambition? I've seen this in myself and some of my friends.
How Will You Measure Your Life? Clay Christensen at TEDxBoston
This is a very inspiring presentation, especially towards the end. The take away is that it's not important how high you went up a certain hierarchy or how much money you have in the bank. The important question is what did you do with your life to make other people's lives better? When you're put in certain situations that touch other people's lives, it's for a reason, and your life will be measured by how you did in those situations.
I think this is getting a little too much into semantics but I see people here using "mediocre" as being synonymous with being "average". What if I'm feeling BELOW average?
[+] [-] CM30|9 years ago|reply
> social media ensures we're constantly exposed to the highlight reel of people's lives and that's leaving some feeling like they're not quite making the most of their time on this mortal coil.
Social media and the internet has made it incredibly easy to see the various people out there who are in the top of their league at any particular hobby, vocation or activity, and made it seem like that's the 'norm'.
If you're an entrepreneur, it can feel like everyone's making millions off their startup ideas and that anyone who isn't is a failure. If you're a web developer, it can seem like the majority of developers are experts in every one of the latest trendy languages and frameworks and that you suck for not being like that. If you're making a game, you might end up judging your worth in comparison to say, the makers of Minecraft or Pokemon GO.
But keep in mind that these are outliers by default. The top percentage of people in a field are overrepresented online and even then, they mostly only post about the things going well in their lives.
Most people are average, and for any one thing you're interested in, there will almost always be many millions of others who are either better or worse than you at it.
And hey, you don't have to be 'great' or even 'good' at something to be successful in it. Many people who were 'average' in a field ended up doing really well in it regardless. Maybe they had a good team, maybe they put in a stupid amount of time, maybe they simply had the right idea at the right point in time. You can just as easily be an expert or prodigy toiling away in obscurity as you can a celebrity with few skills to speak of.
In other words, don't worry too much about it.
[+] [-] agentultra|9 years ago|reply
Let's take game development as one example. You can feel mediocre because you wrongfully compare your progress and success against outliers like Minecraft. However I don't think most people who want to be good at game development are ignorant of what an outlier is. It doesn't take much to learn how big the climb is once you start.
The real difficulty is that the tools have been democratized. The market is flooded with games from developers of all skill levels. Even the most niche games have so many options that most games have trouble distinguishing themselves from the competition. It can be disheartening to realize that your most unique and amazing idea is not unique or novel in most respects and that it will be competing in a pool of several thousand games with similar ideas.
The other difficult factor is that the greatest games make the appearance of being simple and effortless. We only see the end result... not the 200 games the developer made before releasing the one we noticed. The myth that genius is a gift you are born with can certainly make most of us feel mediocre.
That's even before we get to fear of failure, social pressure, and market pressure! Many people want to be good game developers but they also want to feed their family and give their kids a good education... so they only have so much time in their lives to dedicate to improving and developing. Even if they are full-time game developers many of the same fears apply.
It's the tyranny of being just smart enough to know how much you don't know. It can also be a comfort though if you're not worried about being the stand-out genius and just like doing good work.
[+] [-] will_brown|9 years ago|reply
Perhaps because I don't use FB, IG, YouTube, Twitter, etc... I only see the real-world reflection of social media and it looks miserable.
For example, when I visit Key West people can stand in line for upwards of an hour to take a photo in front of the "Southern Most Point". I mean these people are in paradise and have the look of misery on their face, all just so they can put on a fake smile for a selfie, presumably just so they can post this "highlight" to social media. Instantly when the photo is done the smile disappears and they start swiping thru the results of their photos just hoping they got at least one that conveys whatever image they are hoping to convey (I am good looking, I am happy, I am in front of this famous landmark). This is not to say there are not life experiences worth a wait in line, and may be the juice is worth the squeeze with social media, but the real world counter-part just looks sad.
[+] [-] SmellTheGlove|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] DougN7|9 years ago|reply
I'd even go so far as to say all people are average, in some aspect or another. Nobody is the top of every single aspect. Nobody. Not even Elon Musk :)
[+] [-] greggman|9 years ago|reply
One friend is president of a 200 person top rated game dev company. Another is head of 20+ people on the graphics tech division of one of the top video game series. Another was the lead architect of one of the latest generation game consoles. Two other friends have successful 30+ person game companies. Another 4 have successful 5-10 person indie game companies. Other is now a CTO at a popular international gaming PC company. Another is a famous game professor at a top university.
Of course I'm only listing the standouts. Most friends are living more average lives.
Then theres my failing at relationships where others have lovers and families something I can't seem to manage to find a match for. Of course I don't envy all of them only the ones that seem to be doing well.
None of that has anything to do with social media.
[+] [-] amelius|9 years ago|reply
(Unless you can stand watching shows where people have outstanding jobs, and seemingly endless amounts of free time.)
[+] [-] fspear|9 years ago|reply
I had to quit social media altogether because it was driving me insane with frustration, anger and envy. I was in a real dark place and it seemed that everyone else around me was living in a completely different world than I was, quitting facebook and the like was the best thing I've ever done for my mental health.
Thankfully things are much better now, unfortunately I had to sacrifice a lot of relationships who relied exclusively on social media as a means of contact.
>In other words, don't worry too much about it.
I will have to disagree on this, at least when it comes to being a developer. I think the bar has been raised so high by the startup culture and the Google's and Amazons of the world that it feels like if you want to get hired nowadays you have to be above average, as a proof look at the current hiring process for developers.Being a mediocre hard worker is not gonna cut it. It seems like EVERYONE wants to hire nothing but the best of the best: you need to be a "Ninja", a "Rockstar", code in your free time, as well as know all kinds of algorithms like the back of your hand....As a mediocre, slow-witted developer I tried really hard to stay afloat even taking on desperate meassures like pumping myself full of adderall in order to study for interviews.Frankly I am now burned out, I find this environment so toxic that I'm seriously considering leaving development once my current contract has finished.
[+] [-] bmj|9 years ago|reply
Or, because they can curate exactly what you see on Facebook or Instagram, and they make it look like they are at the top of the league.
[+] [-] SCdF|9 years ago|reply
In my early thirties I've now taken two pay cuts to move to jobs that I thought would be more enjoyable, as opposed to more important / prestigious / success signifying.
I still tinker around and would like to produce something all on my own, but I don't really care if I don't. What I'm doing now for someone else is important enough.
*Not actually it, obviously I'm not a complete failure
[+] [-] gutnor|9 years ago|reply
Then I have had the opportunity to work for a few months in the middle of nowhere. (i.e. rural Spain) Having a relaxed perspective was way easier without the constant reminder of your financial inadequacy.
[+] [-] swalsh|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ThomPete|9 years ago|reply
We have no aspirations and are totally fine with living a mediocre life. The entire society is based on that (with the high level of wealth redistribution)
Good enough is almost the definition of Danish working culture.
It's not for everyone (I moved) but it sure is a good quality of life.
[+] [-] prostoalex|9 years ago|reply
Henry Miller, "Tropic of Cancer" (1934)
[+] [-] erikb|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] doc_holliday|9 years ago|reply
Hedonistic tendancies teaches you to want more and more, you never appreciate what you have because once you have got it you want the next thing. It becomes a zero sum game and you've probably just sacrificed a whole heap of your precious time and health to achieve it.
Many people fall trap to trying to beat others in what they have / what they do.
They see their friend has a bigger house, they want a bigger house.
They see their friend had a big weddding, they want a bigger wedding.
They see their friend earns X a year, they want to earn X + Y a year.
Remember, there are 7 billion people on the planet, you will probably not be the richest ever, so learn to be happy with what you have.
This is not to say do not strive for improvement, just allow yourself to be happy.
[+] [-] treehau5|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ioda|9 years ago|reply
"Mediocrity" arises only when compared.
And comparison is plain stupid. My genes are different. The life circumstance through which I have gone through are different. My responses to various stimuli are different. My pleasure points are different. My pain points are different. My memory is different. The things that I consider important in my life are different.Every single thing about me is different from that of anybody else in this world. And yet, if I want to compare myself to some other person on a specific domain, I should be plain stupid.
Instead I would happily compare myself with myself. Am I giving my personal best? Am I getting paid in 'currencies that are important to me'?
Life is not single subject course. It is a multi disciplinary course. One may have ideas about becoming the greatest entrepreneur, the greatest artist or the greatest politician. But not many people talk about being a great child, being a great brother, being a great husband, being a great friend, being a great father or being a great grand father.
You may think that you got an "A' in a particular subject. But you may be a complete failure in other. If you are OK with it, no issues. But make sure that you scored 'A' in subjects that you thought important, and not someone else thought important.
I would love to believe that there is no such thing as 'Mediocrity'. The greatest tragedy is to not have lived the life that you wanted to live.
[+] [-] SmellTheGlove|9 years ago|reply
I started to do the math for us. Public school starts in 2 years, there's $1000/mo back in our bank account (private pre-k/preschool now). My federal student loans can "only" go another 18 years max. Mortgage will stick around, but isn't terrible. Cars are paid off. And my wife stays at home, which was a goal for us (she was a director too, that was a fun adjustment financially). Right now I spend every dollar that comes through the door on mostly non-optional things. Some months a little more. But I'm realizing that in terms of financial obligation, I may be at or near my high water mark. I never realized that before. If I never get another promotion, we'd likely be just fine, even improving financially over the next decade or two.
So the question becomes, do I really need to hit VP or whatever other level? It's not to say I don't work hard now, but I mostly leave the office to get home by 5. I take all of my vacation time and wish I had more. Maybe I have the potential to keep moving up, maybe I don't, but the question is really becoming more whether I'm willing to put in more time and energy here, rather than outside of work. I think I'm pretty good at what I do, but does that obligate me to go as hard as I can at that thing I do pretty well, and subjugate everything else just a little more? I don't think it does.
[+] [-] Cyph0n|9 years ago|reply
For me, the more off time I can get, the better. It's not that I'm lazy, but it's just that I'd rather enjoy what life has to offer while I can. But if I feel that I can get more money and satisfaction that's worth it, I'd go for it.
[+] [-] jrs235|9 years ago|reply
[1] http://amzn.to/2bAi7dN
[+] [-] tumbling_stone|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] cpeterso|9 years ago|reply
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle
[+] [-] jrs235|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mherrmann|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mkagenius|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wazoox|9 years ago|reply
The "tyranny of excellence" undeservedly pushed "mediocre" meaning for many people down towards "bad", but "mediocre" isn't really bad; it's just barely average.
[+] [-] teekert|9 years ago|reply
Hits home for me. Life expectations people. You're not great, your 35 and your farther is still not driving your Porche as he always wanted. But hey, you have a house, income and food every day. How beautiful is that?
Try to long for the things you already have (as it taught in this "always popular on HN" -book http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-the-go...)
[+] [-] katzgrau|9 years ago|reply
Being mediocre may or may not prevent you from achieving your highest goals, but believing in your mediocrity will prevent you from setting out to achieve those goals in the first place.
Tell yourself what a badass you are every day, surround yourself by the kind of people you want to be, and keep persisting until you get what you want or are simply satisfied by the effort you put it.
There are plenty of roadblocks between you and your dreams that are completely out of your control - and the question of whether you believe in yourself doesn't have to be one of them.
[+] [-] igf|9 years ago|reply
But then you've got the interviewee for this article, who is probably not happy with her own mediocrity. You can tell this by how hard she insists that she is. People who are genuinely happy with their mediocrity don't go around blogging about it -- in fact, they don't think about it.
[+] [-] erelde|9 years ago|reply
I'd say many people are aware (in some form or another) that they are in the middle of the Gaussian curve, but live perfectly "happy life". If such a thing exists, since I've yet to encounter someone "normal".
[+] [-] random42|9 years ago|reply
Many people come to realize their mediocrity after spending enough time under the sun. Accepting this realization and learning to be happy with it takes time -- especially at the beginning.
Edit: Formatting
[+] [-] cableshaft|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] scythe|9 years ago|reply
Note that "social success" does not mean socializing; Paul Dirac was extremely socially successful, yet nearly incapable of socializing. And despite this it strikes me that he would have been less happy if he had not been one of the greatest physicists in history: introversion or even (possibly) autism is no antidote to vanity.
In light of this people point the blame at social media, but don't ideas matter?
[+] [-] tibbetts|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lambdacomplete|9 years ago|reply
That said, how many people actively pursue relationships? To me a person who has tons of friends (the kind you spend time with on trips etc. not the kind you text every once in a while to see how they are doing) but works a frustrating 9-5 job at a bank is definitely not someone I'd look up to. On the other hand a person who is extremely successful in his field, wins the most prestigious award in that field, but does not (again, by today's standards) live a healthy life does not set a good example either [2]. So what's the optimal situation?
And appearances don't help. I have no idea whether Elon Musk (since he was mentioned in another comment) is happy. I just know he looks successful. In my mind he's the kind of guy that enters a room and automatically and instantly gets the respect and admiration of the "smart" people in there. Does he even care about that? Am I being tricked into seeing Elon Musk as a status symbol like I'm tricked into seeing the iPhone as one of the best smartphones out there?
Happiness is definitely more complex than accepting what you do as "special". Accepting your current situation is a great way to start clearing up the cloud of things you consider important but if that was really the way to be happy why would we even bother improving ourselves or society? I hate to say this but I almost feel like this is the classic story of the fox and the grapes. When the fox can't reach the grapes says they are not ripe.
What if happiness was about pursuing something, regardless of the end result?
Refs:
[1] https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good...
[2] http://www.nature.com/news/2006/060821/full/news060821-5.htm...
[+] [-] JMCQ87|9 years ago|reply
That's the key thing. If I compare myself to the average person, I'm obviously not "mediocre". However, compared to some people who (I think) have had similar opportunities and potential, I probably am.
[+] [-] unknown|9 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] cko|9 years ago|reply
Is this why romantic relationships seem to kill ambition? I've seen this in myself and some of my friends.
[+] [-] khaledh|9 years ago|reply
How Will You Measure Your Life? Clay Christensen at TEDxBoston
This is a very inspiring presentation, especially towards the end. The take away is that it's not important how high you went up a certain hierarchy or how much money you have in the bank. The important question is what did you do with your life to make other people's lives better? When you're put in certain situations that touch other people's lives, it's for a reason, and your life will be measured by how you did in those situations.
[+] [-] isuckatcoding|9 years ago|reply
:-)
[+] [-] guard-of-terra|9 years ago|reply
That's what should have been asked.
[+] [-] Kenji|9 years ago|reply