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PieterH | 9 years ago

It got better, I had a bad reaction to paracetamol I'd just started taking, it seems.

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eternalban|9 years ago

That's a relief! Glad to hear the plan is on hold.

Hey, noted you writing about not being into this "fight this thing" ("neighbor") but curious how this turn of event alters your views. Just purely in the emotional and psychological sense, does this all of a sudden having an extended expected horizon, doesn't [it] seem like future could be anything in the realm of possible. (I apologize if this is too personal.)

PieterH|9 years ago

Well, I'm steadily losing weight, down to about 65kg now from 76kg when I was diagnosed. I'm finding it harder and harder to eat, and I've steadily increased my painkillers from 10mg to 50mg or more per 12h.

So, clearly, things are not getting better. I'm dying and it is just a matter of what bed I die in, and whether it'll be a vital organ like the liver that gives up first, or euthanasia if the breathing gets too hard, and the pain too much.

What the extended horizon does is let me write a little more in that article (there are still stories to tell) and wonder if maybe it'll be enough for a book.

Weirdly the main emotion I feel is a kind of embarrassment at raising a false alarm that gets so many people worried. Also, happiness of course to still be alive and see my family & friends and chat a little more with people on the Internet :-)

M_Grey|9 years ago

It's good that you're still here, and writing. It's never less than a pleasure to read what you have to say.

Myrth|9 years ago

Your post has touched me deeply and resonated a lot with my own life. Thank you for writing!