[PieterH]

Well, I'm steadily losing weight, down to about 65kg now from 76kg when I was diagnosed. I'm finding it harder and harder to eat, and I've steadily increased my painkillers from 10mg to 50mg or more per 12h.

So, clearly, things are not getting better. I'm dying and it is just a matter of what bed I die in, and whether it'll be a vital organ like the liver that gives up first, or euthanasia if the breathing gets too hard, and the pain too much.

What the extended horizon does is let me write a little more in that article (there are still stories to tell) and wonder if maybe it'll be enough for a book.

Weirdly the main emotion I feel is a kind of embarrassment at raising a false alarm that gets so many people worried. Also, happiness of course to still be alive and see my family & friends and chat a little more with people on the Internet :-)

[marcofloriano]

I love books. I'm finishing for the first time the Foundation Series of Isaac Asimov.

You know what's frighten me? When i read him, i kinda connect with him, his beliefs, fears, opinions, view points ... his soul. Problem is: guy is (physically) dead for over a decade. But when i read his books, it's like if he is alive.

I started reading Confessions of a Necromancer and boy! it's amazing. I'm sure, deep inside, it's a masterpiece and a way for your mind and soul to survive all difficulties you are facing now.

So you are not dying, indeed, you are probably living more then most of your entire life before. Even if your body is in a bad shape, you true self are getting better and better.

Sorry for saying this like that, but keep up the good job!

[PieterH]

Yeah, it's true, the last five months have been a more intense sensation of living than I've ever known.

[brachi]

That's very profound, and I'm glad I was able to discover these writings just today. I also think that the need or desire of transcendence is what drives us to create great things.

[k__]

lol, yes, Asimov also writes stuff in the preface like he's 35 and people tell him they thought he was long dead, because even their grandparents read his novels. Which gives the feeling he's still with us.

OT: Is foundation better than pebble in the sky and his short stories? I like his philosphical views, but his science ideas feel real outdated to me.

[microtonal]

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences! I think you are a great inspiration to me and many others, for when our inevitable moment comes. It occurred to me that we are not really prepared for 'the art of dying' (sorry, for the lack of a better term), it is somehow a large taboo.

Still having fond memories of installing Xitami as a kid :-).

[quickben]

Until this morning I had no idea that you existed, and as midnight passed I just finished reading several hundred pages in two works that you wrote.

I now know your name, placed you in my list of idols, decided to remember some of your advices, and am generally more happy than I was when I woke up.

Thank you, for what your represent, for what you aspire, and for what you decided to teach us.

[ddorian43]

Have you tried weed helping with eating ? I've read it may help.

[PieterH]

It might help. I take Medrol, which definitely helps. It's a corticosteroid.

[eternalban]

> happiness of course to still be alive and see my family & friends and chat a little more with people on the Internet :-)

:) For what it's worth I wish you the full measure of more comfort and happiness.

So in terms of your legacy, I was wondering a while back regarding the split in ZMQ & the news of your health that do you feel you have achieved your broader goal of establishing governance model driven OSS as the basis for new organizations, taming the beast of ego :) More to the point: do you think ZMQ, as an undertaking, will continue to evolve as intended? (Kinda of like Apple: is Apple really Apple without Steve Jobs, so of Q.)

[PieterH]

The many ZeroMQ projects already govern themselves and have done so for years. So yes. Also, see C4 protocol.