[a-no-n]

And my car has a jet engine because flames come out the back when I floor it.

No touchscreen, no serious advances; only designer-first churn and imposing clunky acce$$orie$. Apple, in the computer industry, is chopped, unless radical, turnaround action is taken immediately. Sales of iPhone are also down because of lackluster improvements and declining value-for-dollar. Three straight quarters of revenue decline, the worst since Sculley.

[misnome]

> acce$$orie$. Apple, in the computer industry,

I'm sure this will be completely true, unlike every single other 'prediction' ever made without qualification, in their entire history, made every single time they release a new product.

Substituting dollars for 's' also makes the writer even more respectable and objective, just like writing 'Microsoft' with dollars.