Wow, sheep.horse is my site. I never expected it to reach hackernews.
I wrote "RIP Apple MacBook" in reaction to the barrage of over-the-top criticism bandied around in the wake of the MacBook Pro announcement. A lot of the complaints seemed ridiculous to me, I wrote this piece as my attempt at Swiftian satire.
For the record:
* replacing function keys with the touch bar is a great idea, a real step forward in usability
* MagSafe is a great loss but possibly made up for with standard charging ports
* No HDMI or SD port, at worst a minor inconvenience
* Thinner and lighter - I travel with a 2013 MacBook Pro everyday, there is no such thing as too light.
I am not in the market for a new laptop but the new MacBook would meet all my needs perfectly. Expensive though.
Oh... I totally didn't realize it was satire. But I figured it was a interesting read and I had my own thoughts that I haven't shared from following the news about the new MBPs.
I thought the whole esc and esc button over and over again didn't make sense to me but I don't use Vi. So I just figured I didn't understand and skipped over that part.
Haha yes, it is shocking to see all the people taking this so seriously. If I am not mistaking there is still a version without the touchbar right? What is the big deal?
Randomly found this article, so shared since it's relatable. I find it a bit crazy the new MacBooks cost more and require a $15 adaptor for many basic things...
I get that tech changes over time but seems crazy how fast ports keep changing and having to reinvest in buying all new things to work with it or adaptors if whatever you buy doesn't natively support the newer stuff.
Then on top of that Apple solders everything. So no ram or storage upgrades after your purchase. Seems like they are try to turn the Mac into just another iPad.
iPad is cool but more content consuming. I feel like there pro products are starting to lack.
Then ram is limited to 16GB. More than enough for most of the population. But be super useful for devs running multiple VMs testing things. Idk I like macOS a lot, so it breaks my heart a little bit that it seems like the Mac is being turned into just another client.
> How ever will we maintain our 18000 lines of code per day average in vi now? The situation is intolerable.
It sounds a lot like satire to me.
I think the new MBPs are a great step forward. Four ports that can drive an amazing amount of things with ease. This makes these machines much more flexible than anything that came before it.
Touchbar seems like the logical first iteration in the future of keyboards.
Yeah, I didn't realize it was satire at first. But the whole upgradability thing seems super annoying. Planned obsolescence is what some call it.
My 2012 MacBook Pro was crashing a lot and running really slow. I upgraded the ram and popped in an SSD and it runs like a brand new machine. Maybe even on par with the brand new MacBooks speeds.
Oh and then the battery is glued in too. I had to replace my battery too as it was expanding. Ordered the part of Amazon, unscrewed it, put the new one in. Easy. New Machines not so much.
Apple acts like they care about the environment, but the newer machines seem less modular and less repairable. So sounds like more stuff for the landfill.
But otherwise, that new touch bar does look pretty cool. I bearly even touch the F keys and have it defaulted to being used for media controls, brightness, etc. I like how the F buttons are still accessible on the touch bar in case you ever need them too. So I'd give them credit for that at least.
"I am throwing out my 3 year old MacBook and will be buying a Inspiron forthwith."
He's implying that all other laptops are a joke, however the Dell XPS 13 and HP Spectre both comparable to the Macbook Pro in features, styling, weight, etc.
Good riddance to function keys. They're slowly being pushed out of reach on many computers but my fairly new PC laptop still has sysrq and break keys. That's pretty objectionable.
If you're referring to the 'Fn' functionality, I totally agree - I'm not even sure what any of those are used for on OSX. If you're referring to the keys themselves, which control things like volume, media playback, and brightness, as well as offering a very convenient shortcut to the Launchpad (which I personally use frequently), I find them incredibly useful.
I can see some uses for contextual keys, but I can also imagine some pretty annoying inconveniences with this implementation. For example, if I'm in an application that 'takes over' the function keys, is it possible to still access media playback controls? Do I have to switch to whichever app is currently playing audio to access them? Is it possible to disable the contextual keys altogether and have a static, traditional set? Or is there a hotkey to toggle between app-specific and 'global' function keys?
Good thing about a 2013 MBA, is that I can run software from the nineties (I've actually been playing Diablo II lately).
Removing function keys breaks compatibility with that.
Sure, you can configure the touchbar, but have you tried working/playing while having to look down at a keyboard?
It's one of the many new top level domains (.ninja anyone? . vodka?). Any decent registrar will register one for you. I can recommend iwantmyname.com, but there's plenty of others. They have a list here: https://iwantmyname.com/domains/new-gtld-domain-extensions
> Gone is the wonderful HDMI port that enabled you to display several screen modes, none of which matched the native display
Replacing the port hasn't solved that problem, though. A very common port that people struggled to configure has been replaced with an uncommon port that people struggle to configure.
Yeah, that's as easy, quick, and memorable as pressing ESC.
I realise there are alternatives - I personally have caps lock mapped to escape, but I'm yet to get into the habit of using it - but that's not really the point. The point is that ESC is in common use, probably enough use to justify a real physical key on the keyboard, unless there is a reason to remove it.
GHz is only the clock speed, and only one of the factors related to processing speed. So it is entirely possible that they gained value. GFlops is processing power, though.
I know this is satire, but I really don't get the snark. All the claims are pretty valid imo. Satire or not, but having 15$ adapters for EVERYTHING simply cannot be seen as anything else than a massive fail and nuissance. HDMI is one of the features I use most on my MBP and tbh I would probably have to buy a new HDMI adapter every other month because I would likely loose it on a regular basis.
So all in all I actually agree with everything stated in this article, despite the obvious snarky and satirical tone. Pretty sure that apple is going to kill their laptop game with this MBP bullshit move.
Apple won't kill it, it'll just become geared towards consumers rather than professionals as Apple has been doing for years with everything they make. Disposable unupgradeable MacBook Pros are just the latest step. There's far more money to be made from average consumers.
But we're heading towards a future where Thunderbolt 3/USB-C can do everything. It's like complaining about HDMI replacing VGA, or USB A replacing an inbuilt CD drive.
i'm sure apple has done enough user testing to know that the touchbar will be an improvement over the existing keys.
I'd like to try it out first (if they ever actually ship em to the store) before I purchase.
That being said, the $1800 price point is BS. and so is the touchbar-less starting at $1500 for $600 internals. tim cook is being an asshole here. people will still buy it though (me too, but only because I need a new machine)
[+] [-] AndrewStephens|9 years ago|reply
I wrote "RIP Apple MacBook" in reaction to the barrage of over-the-top criticism bandied around in the wake of the MacBook Pro announcement. A lot of the complaints seemed ridiculous to me, I wrote this piece as my attempt at Swiftian satire.
For the record:
* replacing function keys with the touch bar is a great idea, a real step forward in usability
* MagSafe is a great loss but possibly made up for with standard charging ports
* No HDMI or SD port, at worst a minor inconvenience
* Thinner and lighter - I travel with a 2013 MacBook Pro everyday, there is no such thing as too light.
I am not in the market for a new laptop but the new MacBook would meet all my needs perfectly. Expensive though.
[+] [-] nicky0|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] icanhackit|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Keverw|9 years ago|reply
I thought the whole esc and esc button over and over again didn't make sense to me but I don't use Vi. So I just figured I didn't understand and skipped over that part.
[+] [-] mosselman|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] corecoder|9 years ago|reply
This is the only thing the author really didn't get: the SD slot is for Raspberry PI.
[+] [-] pmx|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] H4CK3RM4N|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|9 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] Keverw|9 years ago|reply
I get that tech changes over time but seems crazy how fast ports keep changing and having to reinvest in buying all new things to work with it or adaptors if whatever you buy doesn't natively support the newer stuff.
Then on top of that Apple solders everything. So no ram or storage upgrades after your purchase. Seems like they are try to turn the Mac into just another iPad.
iPad is cool but more content consuming. I feel like there pro products are starting to lack.
Then ram is limited to 16GB. More than enough for most of the population. But be super useful for devs running multiple VMs testing things. Idk I like macOS a lot, so it breaks my heart a little bit that it seems like the Mac is being turned into just another client.
[+] [-] jobvandervoort|9 years ago|reply
It sounds a lot like satire to me.
I think the new MBPs are a great step forward. Four ports that can drive an amazing amount of things with ease. This makes these machines much more flexible than anything that came before it.
Touchbar seems like the logical first iteration in the future of keyboards.
[+] [-] eknkc|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rimantas|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] flawedluck|9 years ago|reply
He's being sarcastic towards those who make fun of the new Macbooks.
[+] [-] Keverw|9 years ago|reply
My 2012 MacBook Pro was crashing a lot and running really slow. I upgraded the ram and popped in an SSD and it runs like a brand new machine. Maybe even on par with the brand new MacBooks speeds.
Oh and then the battery is glued in too. I had to replace my battery too as it was expanding. Ordered the part of Amazon, unscrewed it, put the new one in. Easy. New Machines not so much.
Apple acts like they care about the environment, but the newer machines seem less modular and less repairable. So sounds like more stuff for the landfill.
But otherwise, that new touch bar does look pretty cool. I bearly even touch the F keys and have it defaulted to being used for media controls, brightness, etc. I like how the F buttons are still accessible on the touch bar in case you ever need them too. So I'd give them credit for that at least.
[+] [-] peteretep|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ikt|9 years ago|reply
"I am throwing out my 3 year old MacBook and will be buying a Inspiron forthwith."
He's implying that all other laptops are a joke, however the Dell XPS 13 and HP Spectre both comparable to the Macbook Pro in features, styling, weight, etc.
[+] [-] tonyplee|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Hondor|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] oneeyedpigeon|9 years ago|reply
I can see some uses for contextual keys, but I can also imagine some pretty annoying inconveniences with this implementation. For example, if I'm in an application that 'takes over' the function keys, is it possible to still access media playback controls? Do I have to switch to whichever app is currently playing audio to access them? Is it possible to disable the contextual keys altogether and have a static, traditional set? Or is there a hotkey to toggle between app-specific and 'global' function keys?
[+] [-] hobarrera|9 years ago|reply
Sure, you can configure the touchbar, but have you tried working/playing while having to look down at a keyboard?
[+] [-] Ezhik|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mcv|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jamesjguthrie|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] willvarfar|9 years ago|reply
How does one go about getting arbitrary names like this these days?
[+] [-] onion2k|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] nicky0|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] MatthewWilkes|9 years ago|reply
Replacing the port hasn't solved that problem, though. A very common port that people struggled to configure has been replaced with an uncommon port that people struggle to configure.
[+] [-] H4CK3RM4N|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mantask|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] fatamorgana|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] willvarfar|9 years ago|reply
That its not faster nor better than the old MBP I already have is why I won't be buying one though.
[+] [-] wyclif|9 years ago|reply
Oh, I dunno, by pressing Ctrl + [ instead?
[+] [-] oneeyedpigeon|9 years ago|reply
I realise there are alternatives - I personally have caps lock mapped to escape, but I'm yet to get into the habit of using it - but that's not really the point. The point is that ESC is in common use, probably enough use to justify a real physical key on the keyboard, unless there is a reason to remove it.
[+] [-] jimboj|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dingaling|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mona3000|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mcv|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|9 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] unknown|9 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] gjvc|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] EJTH|9 years ago|reply
So all in all I actually agree with everything stated in this article, despite the obvious snarky and satirical tone. Pretty sure that apple is going to kill their laptop game with this MBP bullshit move.
[+] [-] JohnTHaller|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] H4CK3RM4N|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tdsamardzhiev|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kkhire|9 years ago|reply
I'd like to try it out first (if they ever actually ship em to the store) before I purchase.
That being said, the $1800 price point is BS. and so is the touchbar-less starting at $1500 for $600 internals. tim cook is being an asshole here. people will still buy it though (me too, but only because I need a new machine)