top | item 13065717

3 Out of 4 Millennials Have Received Financial Help from Parents After College

59 points| pissedinSEC | 9 years ago |financeography.com | reply

87 comments

order
[+] ChuckMcM|9 years ago|reply
That's really sad, 1 in 4 millennials don't have parents that care? I think by their thin definition of "help" they would find that probably 9 out of 10 baby boomers received "help". I had help from my in-laws when my wife and I were putting together a down payment on our first house, I helped my eldest daughter come up with the first security deposit for her first apartment after college. My middle and younger daughters have both been "helped" by the ACA because I can keep them on my company health insurance plan.

Pretty poor excuse for journalism in my opinion.

EDIT: see my response for toomuchtodo for my actual perspective here, once again I've been schooled in how written communication is so different than face to face conversations. Added to my favorites list as a reminder to contextualize, contextualize, contextualize ...

[+] toomuchtodo|9 years ago|reply
Hey Chuck! Millennial here (just turned 34).

My father and mother were divorced ~18-19 years ago (one of the most financially devastating events that can occur in your life) due to my mother's alcoholism. It took him years to break even, and at 64, he has less saved for retirement then I do. He continues to work a full time job as long as he can to save for retirement (he believes he'll make it through retirement on his own, while I'm sure I will have to support him at some point; I am fine with this). My mother is disabled, legit disabled, but not from her many years of alcoholism; her lower spinal column has been reconstructed due to a degenerative bone disorder and she has MS. The Social Security Administration deems her as not disabled, as she can still stand for ~3-5 minutes at a time. I support her entirely until she can collect social security at 62 in three years. (EDIT: Before the ACA, she was much worse off; her medications were costing me upwards of $1000/month, causing me an incredible amount of stress between my wife and I [my moral compass does not permit me to deny my mother necessary healthcare], and I was seriously contemplating transporting her pharmaceuticals across the Canadian border to lower the monthly financial outlay). My younger brother refused to help me with any of her financial expenses; we have not spoken in over 2 years.

Don't be so quick to discount parents didn't help because they didn't want to. In most cases, I'm confident the problem is they simply can't. I know I'm not alone in speaking to others about this. People out there are suffering, badly.

EDIT: This is far more than I'd ever really care to share in a public forum, but people need to know what is going on behind the curtain causing people to take the actions that they do. Do you want to know what True Grit is? I will teach you.

EDIT 2: (ffs HN throttling)

Chuck: I hope you didn't take my comment as calling you out. Nothing could be further from the truth! Personally, I'm seeing a lot of people in bad shape financially and personally, and its not being reported on, or when it is reported on, people don't believe it.

So I'm here to give a first hand PIREP of the situation. And it is fucking bad.

[+] ikeyany|9 years ago|reply
> That's really sad, 1 in 4 millennials don't have parents that care?

My parents were inner city teachers...they couldn't really afford to help out with undergrad/grad school/later in life. The lack of perspective you're showing is one of the reasons why I don't enjoy hanging out with the tech crowd.

[+] pmlamotte|9 years ago|reply
I received no financial help post-college from my family because I didn't need it. My starting salary was twice what my dad made at the time and my sister had just begun college. I had saved up money myself from working during college to pay for my first month's rent. It's not that they didn't care, it's that I didn't need it and was off to a far better start.
[+] whataretensors|9 years ago|reply
> 1 in 4 millennials don't have parents that care

Wow. Is that really how you see it? Most parents care, they don't all have the same amount of money.

That said, I knew one parent that would demand student loan money from her kid during college.

[+] nugget|9 years ago|reply
I think America is in a state of flux in terms of society's perspective on the appropriate level of financial independence of young adults. For baby boomers it seemed like you hit 18 and were ''up and out'' and expected to make it on your own. If you didn't, you were looked down upon as lazy or a mooch. But looking back at history, that attitude is an extreme anomaly. I just finished reading a fantastic book about Winston Churchill's personal finances: ''No More Champagne: Churchill and His Money'' [http://fave.co/2gSQoYF]. Besides being like crack cocaine for any Churchill fan it is a fascinating look at the personal finances of successful families in Britain 1700(ish) through post WW2. Families were successful because of their ability to pass lasting, sustainable, income-producing wealth down the generations, where it seems to have been used, by the cleverest heirs, to pursue career opportunities that were closed to those without means. And of course this was considered totally normal and expected, and if you didn't receive assistance, you were at a relative disadvantage. It wouldn't surprise me if we are headed back to some sort of hybrid system like this where if in 50 years you live in a very expensive coastal city it becomes reasonable to assume that your family contributed the majority of the resources needed for your lifestyle. Housing prices in these areas in particular have become so expensive that it's hard to foresee another outcome.
[+] theandrewbailey|9 years ago|reply
> That's really sad, 1 in 4 millennials don't have parents that care?

Maybe most of those have sufficient money and don't need any parental financial aid?

[+] bpchaps|9 years ago|reply
Agreed with the others here that your experience seems rather sheltered. You had luxuries that many, many others didn't have. It's incredibly unfair and borderline insulting of you to say that those parents "don't care".

Life isn't that simple, man..

[+] justinator|9 years ago|reply
Mine died before I finished my second year of college. Mother was a homemaker; father was a self-employed social worker. There was drug problems in the family. There wasn't much to divide between all of us. Grew up poor to begin with, and started working when I was 15. I'd work earlier if only I was allowed.

If parents can help - great, but I would not see this as anything but a real, amazing privilege to have. Honor it, and love you parents back.

[+] itsdrewmiller|9 years ago|reply
For what it's worth, I interpreted your comment pretty much exactly as you intended it. And I could see myself stepping in it in the same way.
[+] Futurebot|9 years ago|reply
Reasons besides "didn't want to help":

1) Parents are deceased (mine have been dead for decades, for example, so they couldn't)

2) Estranged from parents (people I know have had little no/contact due to irreconcilable differences)

3) Parents are too poor to help

4) Adult child makes enough money to not need help

[+] overcast|9 years ago|reply
You can thank the Feds for handing out gigantic, cheap, guaranteed loans to millions of kids, without regard for their future financial stability. Schools see this easy money, jack up prices year after year, and now we have an entire generation of people who are completely broke with shit degrees. There used to be a time when kids could work their way through school doing summer jobs. That time was before the federal government got involved. Sad really. Thankfully I was one of the few to land a good job before school even finished, and I'm still only just paying it off this year, 11 years later. I can't imagine the photo/art/liberal kids paying off my debt.

Also. Bankruptcy does not wipe out school debt!

[+] taurath|9 years ago|reply
The states used to subsidize funding and stopped - what could be done better here? I don't see states raising taxes to cover education any time soon.
[+] _uhtu|9 years ago|reply
The majority of comments in this thread so far are along the lines of "How is financial help defined in this context???" yet it's described in the article:

"The type of financial support varies substantially. Nearly 30 percent of those receiving help accept health insurance and approximately the same percentage welcome assistance with purchasing a home or renting. Auto insurance was another big contributor, with 26 percent of young people receiving help to pay for it, and 23 percent getting help with utilities."

Come on people, don't start typing out a response if you haven't even looked at the link. Especially considering it's like 10 sentences total and anyone could skim it in a minute flat.

[+] tdb7893|9 years ago|reply
Pretty much everyone I knew who wasn't an engineer has had their parents help them somehow after college. Between the cost of buying/renting a place and paying off student loans it seems that you need a lot of money to be financially independent and the job market isn't great for many college graduates.
[+] tedajax|9 years ago|reply
Even as an engineer I needed a loan for relocation from my parents. My job paid to relocate me but it was just a reimbursement and I didn't have the money for a cross-country move up front.
[+] dexwiz|9 years ago|reply
The quote is based on a UBS Investor survey of "affluent and high net worth" investors [1]. And the milleniums surveyed have 6 figure incomes. So a far from the average.

The actual break down of the top assistance assistance categories are Health Insurance, Buying/Renting, Auto Instance, and Utilities, so bills. The insurances are probably from being on their parents' plans. This is pretty consistent with what I hear from people I know. Their parents aren't paying for everything, but they do take care of 1 or 2 of their bills for their children.

[1] https://www.ubs.com/content/dam/ubs/microsites/ubs-investor-...

[+] jdhn|9 years ago|reply
What is "financial help" defined as? The article was very vague as to what it is.
[+] epx|9 years ago|reply
Same doubt I had. My father lent some money so I could buy my house, but I paid back, and I had lent money to my sister some years ago, so it is more like a "family cash flow management".
[+] km3k|9 years ago|reply
There's a list of what was counted: Health insurance, Home buying/renting, Auto insurance, Utilities, Spending money, Vacations, Large purchases, Online accounts (e.g., Netflix), Taxes
[+] neaden|9 years ago|reply
Agreed. I received a small loan after I graduated for moving expenses and my parents helped pay for my wedding, would that qualify?
[+] throwaway2016a|9 years ago|reply
I'm one of those 1 out of 4... because I am successful enough to not need it.[1]

My father did offer to help with the house but he wanted to charge an interest rate that would have made it cheaper for me to take private mortgage insurance so that is what I did. After all, I benefitted from the record low interest rates.

But my brother, who is not a millennial did get help with his house and his small business from my father when he was my age. And I think I am the only one of my friend's who has a house that didn't get some assistance from their parents (or my wife's parents).

But I'm an exception not a rule. I don't think any less of the 3/4.

[1] By successful enough I mean I make a reasonable (but not great) salary and work hard. So does my wife who is at least as successful as me in her engineering career. Unfortunately I have yet to have an app or company of mine sell for millions yet :)

[+] zerognowl|9 years ago|reply
Millennials don't exist, according to Adam Conover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HFwok9SlQQ

I'm careful using the word "Millennial" these days and increasingly skeptical of online articles with the word "Millennial" in the title. Thanks to shows like Adam Ruins Everything[1], I am more informed on a variety of topics. (I learn visually and prefer to watch his videos instead of read an article).

[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX2R0b_mqrQ&list=PLuKg-Whduh...

[+] NullCharacter|9 years ago|reply
Thank god for the military, America's backdoor to the middle class. Best decision I've ever made.
[+] countryqt30|9 years ago|reply
"after college" — it's really saying nothing.

In fact, I expected it much higher - it essentially includes the parents' legacy. Considering this, it's dramatically low, right? :D

[+] spyspy|9 years ago|reply
"Financial assistance" is also very vague. My parents gave me $20 for the train because I wasn't carrying any cash over Thanksgiving. Does that count?
[+] lucasmullens|9 years ago|reply
I'd imagine most millennials haven't collected any inheritance yet, right?
[+] ryandrake|9 years ago|reply
I was surprised it was that high. Really? 3 out of 4? I mean I know college loan expense is much, much higher now than it was when I went to school, and current graduates have a really bad deal. But don't hardship deferrals still exist and other options for low-income graduates? Don't people get roommates anymore to offset rent? I had crushing (6 figure) student debt after grad school, but it was really only crushing my ability to save--not crushing my ability to eat and get a roof over my head.
[+] tedajax|9 years ago|reply
Yeah this statement doesn't seem very far off from "100% of children receive financial aid from their parent or guardian."

I too am impressed that as much as 25% don't get anything at all (I guess the definition of financial aid could change this, does buying you a few meals count or is it specifically dollar transactions?)

[+] erobbins|9 years ago|reply
Wow, you've lived a privileged life.
[+] throwaway729|9 years ago|reply
IDK. That was my initial reaction too.

But then, my wife's parents are definitely not well-off (unlikely to ever retire) and they still sent us small "just because" gifts occasionally when we were young and poor.

And I literally don't know anyone with a kid and a non-terrible (not even necessarily good) relationship with their parents who hasn't received a lot of free child care. Parents -- even those who have to work hard to make ends meet -- find time for the grandchildren.

So if the definition was "any amount of cash/any service for a reason other than birthday/holiday", then I kind of have to agree with your parent.

So I definitely agree that having parents who can work and take occasionally vacation and have any amount of disposable income is definitely a huge blessing. But I don't think it's particularly rare in the US, either.

[+] ChuckMcM|9 years ago|reply
Are you equating parents helping their kids with "privileged life" ? I'd certainly agree that people who have no parents have a harder life, but simply having parents doesn't seem to rise to the level of privileged that you imply here.
[+] cryoshon|9 years ago|reply
hey look, we're the most impoverished generation, and so, we require help from our parents.

thanks, student loans!