[craftandhustle]

I am a 30 year old, "first generation Mexican-American" who has had to work incredibly hard... from manual farm labor to today's creative tech/entrepreneurial world... for my current immense privileges in life. I have been analytical and overthinking; to the point of pausing and deciding daily whether the over-priced almond chai latte barista will mangle my full name or I should shorten and anglicize it.

I'm not outwardly extremely confident, but have been able to mostly get what I want. I've started a lot of things and messed up my fair share. It's past 2am, I'm in my workspace/studio jamming on personally fulfilling work with an amazing 40-week pregnant wife and four year old sleeping two floors above me.

What does self-destruct mean to you? Self loathing? I am genuinely wondering if lack of clarity, doubt and direction in your life are the real issues. If so, I'd like to say that every year since my 20s I've felt the same... and, I'm inwardly extremely confident about where I am in life. Time heals, maybe it's clarity through maturity. Perhaps a mentor would have been useful. If, like myself, you haven't had the fortune of one then seeking someone to talk to, a friend / colleague / professional, would be beneficial.