"This is an indication sent to the PC speaker from the computer's BIOS that the CPU fan is failing or has failed, or that the power supply voltages have drifted out of tolerance."
I can't help think that it might be more useful to play a short recording saying something like "The CPU fan is failing. The CPU fan has failed."
On the other hand, this is undeniably awesome, and would perhaps make people feel a bit better about having to repair their computer (I know that it would make me feel better).
If anything, what we need is more musical cues indicating system health. From the forboding opening strains of Orff's "O Fortuna" when the system first starts to overheat, through to Debussy's "Clare de Lune" while the CPU goes through a tearful montage of the many documents and applications that it's helped during its short life, before whispering its last goodbyes to an ocean-like plane of blue screen, the system could increase the user's empathy with a musical journey through its struggles.
With innovations like this, I might even shed a tear when the host lays itself down to die, rather than hammering the keyboard in futile rage.
I assume the PC speaker actually means the one connected directly to the motherboard, not whatever is connected to the sound card (which may be part of the motherboard). The voice recording would probably sound something more like:
I came home to my crashed PC one day and it was very quietly playing a sound over and over. I turned the volume way up and it was saying something like "The CPU has failed!" over and over. It was more freaky than awesome.
This is great. If a customer calls up saying that their computer failed after playing a certain song it idiot proofs the detection process (assuming the user was there to hear it.) It transcends languages and even if the user can't identify the song, they can hum it (again, assuming they aren't tone deaf.)
I'm pretty sure this one was actually the motherboard manufacturer's idea, but Microsoft did something far stupider.
In Windows XP, if you open Windows Explorer and have the search sidebar active, there's a little animated yellow dog sitting there below the search form. He's originally from Microsoft Bob, and he's there as your 'agent' to search your filesystem. The animation goes through a full cycle about every 90 seconds, and in part of it the dog pants twice. A sound is played through your speakers.
I've actually experienced this years and years ago on my grandmother's machine. It played Fur Elise because it had a short. We needed to figure out the name of the song in order for tech support to help us identify what it meant.
The sad thing about this is that I kind of understand why someone would make something like that. The first Windows DLL I ever made was nothing more than an attempt to make a function that would play notes on the PC speaker in both Win 98 & 2K.
I actually had a little music player written in VBS that used it. For those who know enough about VBS to wonder how on earth you could access a DLL from it, someone else made an OCX marked 'safe for scripting' that did that by writing out assembly code and then calling it via some hack. And you could even store the OCX inside the script by abusing more crazy bugs that let you open a file in binary mode (though you had to store the OCX as a horrible "string" constant).
Oh, and we're not done with the Rube Goldberg contraption yet. It was actually executed not by Windows itself, but via some proprietary company testing tool that used VBS to script itself. I blame severe boredom for causing me to do things in such an absurd way. I didn't think of using it for an alarm, though.
Incidentally, the only piece I ever wrote for it was one of Chopin's Etudes. I don't think I can find that piece any more, but it would be something like this (but the piece had only one note at a time):
Aw, nuts! The server product I am working on actually does the same thing. If the program is unable to output log messages to the console (for example if the user has selected some text), Für Elise will play on the PC-speaker, since we don't have another way to scream about errors.
With this, we might actually misdiagnose complaints from our customers..! Who would have thought?
When I worked for Bravo, which contracted me out to Software Spectrum, which contracted me out to Microsoft, back in 1999-2000 - I was supporting Windows 95/98 and all the applets installed (theoretically meaning I supported, for example, MS Paint and Notepad and such...) - I had access to a certain level of the MSKB.
I printed out but subsequently lost, and haven't been able to find anywhere - there was an article about Kraft cheese inserted into a floppy drive. It was meant as a joke, and wasn't public... but I wish I hadn't lost it. (IIRC, the basic advice was "don't do this"...)
The origins of the "printer on fire" error message are actually quite interesting -- IIRC the error is generated if the printer status lines indicate an impossible state that a normal printer would never produce.
[+] [-] sorbus|15 years ago|reply
I can't help think that it might be more useful to play a short recording saying something like "The CPU fan is failing. The CPU fan has failed."
On the other hand, this is undeniably awesome, and would perhaps make people feel a bit better about having to repair their computer (I know that it would make me feel better).
[+] [-] zootm|15 years ago|reply
With innovations like this, I might even shed a tear when the host lays itself down to die, rather than hammering the keyboard in futile rage.
[+] [-] amalcon|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wvenable|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wheaties|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Elite|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] blasdel|15 years ago|reply
In Windows XP, if you open Windows Explorer and have the search sidebar active, there's a little animated yellow dog sitting there below the search form. He's originally from Microsoft Bob, and he's there as your 'agent' to search your filesystem. The animation goes through a full cycle about every 90 seconds, and in part of it the dog pants twice. A sound is played through your speakers.
This confuses and infuriates people: http://ask.metafilter.com/38461/ http://ask.metafilter.com/51844/ http://ask.metafilter.com/52427/ http://ask.metafilter.com/65029/ http://ask.metafilter.com/70851/
[+] [-] parallax7d|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] teilo|15 years ago|reply
I'm not sure what "It's a Small World" says. Definitely not, "Your voltage is out of spec".
[+] [-] rbanffy|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jmatt|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Workaphobia|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Natsu|15 years ago|reply
I actually had a little music player written in VBS that used it. For those who know enough about VBS to wonder how on earth you could access a DLL from it, someone else made an OCX marked 'safe for scripting' that did that by writing out assembly code and then calling it via some hack. And you could even store the OCX inside the script by abusing more crazy bugs that let you open a file in binary mode (though you had to store the OCX as a horrible "string" constant).
Oh, and we're not done with the Rube Goldberg contraption yet. It was actually executed not by Windows itself, but via some proprietary company testing tool that used VBS to script itself. I blame severe boredom for causing me to do things in such an absurd way. I didn't think of using it for an alarm, though.
Incidentally, the only piece I ever wrote for it was one of Chopin's Etudes. I don't think I can find that piece any more, but it would be something like this (but the piece had only one note at a time):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89tude_Op._10,_No._4_%28Cho...
[+] [-] maggit|15 years ago|reply
With this, we might actually misdiagnose complaints from our customers..! Who would have thought?
[+] [-] docgnome|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] joubert|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] defen|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] daychilde|15 years ago|reply
I printed out but subsequently lost, and haven't been able to find anywhere - there was an article about Kraft cheese inserted into a floppy drive. It was meant as a joke, and wasn't public... but I wish I hadn't lost it. (IIRC, the basic advice was "don't do this"...)
[+] [-] chris24|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rbanffy|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] powrtoch|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] nitrogen|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|15 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] cagerton|15 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] tibbon|15 years ago|reply