[zo7]

> I'd just be unhappy if I'd constantly be setting big life goals and not reaching them when planned, or at all.

This is key, I think. You need to have some acceptance that you actually have very little control over your life. Plan for and manage the parts of your life that you do have control over, and keep an open mind about the rest. Some of the unhappiest people I know are those with lofty goals that they either fail to meet, or have unrealistic expectations about what they will get for meeting them.

[stingraycharles]

But this isn’t true. You have a lot of control over your life. You just should keep your goals realistic, which is a completely different thing.

If you set a goal to be your own boss, to save money to travel the world, to reach financial independence / retire early, those are all “big” goals that can give purpose to your life.

You have a tremendous amount of control over your own life, to shape it and achieve happiness. It’s just that many people are too busy with distractions to see the bigger picture and plan accordingly.

[zo7]

You could strike out on your own only to find out there's not enough of a market to support yourself with your skills and you have to get a job again. You could set a goal to save money to travel the world and have it all be depleted recovering from a medical emergency that leaves you disabled. You could invest all of your money for retirement only to see it vanish in an economic crisis.

These are more realistic but there's still an element of chance that could wrestle control away from you. If you use goals to give purpose to your life, what will you do if you discover that you absolutely cannot meet them? If it was the source of your drive, will you be able to laugh it off? What if you get there and discover that meeting your goal was not something that you even wanted at all?

My point was that you could instead focus on things immediately under your control: you could learn skills and network which may help you become your own boss, but it may also help you get a better job or start a new career if you'd rather. You could save money which would allow you to possibly travel the world one day, or it might allow you to indulge in some other nice experience or simply help reduce stress in your life. You maintain control over your life and can seize opportunities as they come, but you're not constrained by stuff outside your control, or even your past self who was setting the goals to begin with.