> "When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."
It's not about having company, it's about having company with whom you feel a togetherness - shared workplaces and shared beds can be surprisingly lonely places.
Solitude, if voluntary, is a gift and should be embraced - it's the place where you grow and develop. Involuntary solitude is loneliness and modern society provides both the cause (atomized lifestyles and little time) and the cure (meetup/dating apps, airplanes).
I recently read a nonfiction book called The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone [1], which talks about the interplay between solitude, loneliness, and creativity. The author talks about loneliness and solitude in her own life and she examines artists for whom these traits played a prominent role in their lives and their work.
Many artists have written about the necessity of loneliness and solitude for achieving original work [2]. Neuroscientists [3], psychologists [4], and philosophers [5] have expressed this as well.
Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude. I think many people suffer anxiety because society tells them they "need" to be constantly social, surrounded by others. The stigmatization of solitude is not uncommon. Introverted people encounter this on a regular basis. However, a healthy amount of solitude in our lives allows us to be ourselves with ourselves, unconcerned with the demands of others and the pressures of society. In this setting, we can truly be original and whole.
[2] "Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day." -- Ernest Hemingway
[3] "Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!" -- Santiago Ramón y Cajal
[4] "In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone." -- Rollo May
[5] "That is why I go into solitude so as not to drink out of everybody’s cistern. When I am among the many I live as the many do, and I do not think as I really think; after a time it always seems as though they want to banish me from myself and rob me of my soul and I grow angry with everybody and fear everybody." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
> Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude.
Beautiful post, and I think that line encapsulates quite perfectly what any thinking person should keep in mind when it comes to discussions on solitude and socialization.
The difficulty of achieving that balance is that it differs person to person, and culture tends to compound the difficulty of achieving the perfect individual balance.
Imo, self-knowledge and the self-confidence it helps canalize offer the only navigable route through the overpowering currents of culture towards that island of balance.
Too much "we" and "our" in these things. The author may speak only for himself (or herself).
The people who "choose" to spend time alone, do so because they have that choice available to them--it's a kind of "social privilege" or prerogative, available to those whose time and attention is in most demand.
It's reminiscent of an attitude that doesn't understand why "all those poor people just don't get normal jobs."
No solitude is not healthy. Only our shitty 21st century individualism pushes from industry and media have shifted things in that direction and almost nobody is happy doing it.
Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. Solitude is normally something you choose while loneliness is a product of circumstance. Some of us aggravate our loneliness by being difficult but it's still not the same as solitude.
There's more than one kind of solitude, for me at least.
There's the kind when I'm absorbed in a book. Far from feeling alone, I feel get caught up in the story and sort of feel like a participant in an imaginary world. It doesn't feel like solitude at all.
Then there's the kind when I'm "in the zone" working on something. I loose track of time, people, and surroundings and when I finally figure it out I feel really good.
The rest of the time I'm just alone and lonely, and that's a bad thing.
It seems like this is an effect of many things that are a byproduct of modernity and progress. We continue to move away from rural distributed multigenerational living arrangements to individualized quarters in cities.
I'm not sure this trend can be extricated given family units have become smaller over time as access to medicine and education has increased.
It's not a product of capitalism or democracy, (or communism or authoritarianism); it’s a product progress --how we deal with this modern phenomenon remains to be seen, given this is a pretty recent development (a 20th century development).
People are trying to avoid the downside of social interaction.
Try writing a politically incorrect comment here and see instant refutation followed by downvotes.
People are not good at coming up with morally correct statements in a realtime situation, they don't want to be shunned by saying something unpopular. It's better to giveup on your own terms then be ostracized by a group.
[+] [-] factsaresacred|7 years ago|reply
> "When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."
It's not about having company, it's about having company with whom you feel a togetherness - shared workplaces and shared beds can be surprisingly lonely places.
Solitude, if voluntary, is a gift and should be embraced - it's the place where you grow and develop. Involuntary solitude is loneliness and modern society provides both the cause (atomized lifestyles and little time) and the cure (meetup/dating apps, airplanes).
[+] [-] kwhitefoot|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] v64|7 years ago|reply
Many artists have written about the necessity of loneliness and solitude for achieving original work [2]. Neuroscientists [3], psychologists [4], and philosophers [5] have expressed this as well.
Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude. I think many people suffer anxiety because society tells them they "need" to be constantly social, surrounded by others. The stigmatization of solitude is not uncommon. Introverted people encounter this on a regular basis. However, a healthy amount of solitude in our lives allows us to be ourselves with ourselves, unconcerned with the demands of others and the pressures of society. In this setting, we can truly be original and whole.
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Lonely-City-Adventures-Being-Alone/dp...
[2] "Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day." -- Ernest Hemingway
[3] "Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!" -- Santiago Ramón y Cajal
[4] "In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone." -- Rollo May
[5] "That is why I go into solitude so as not to drink out of everybody’s cistern. When I am among the many I live as the many do, and I do not think as I really think; after a time it always seems as though they want to banish me from myself and rob me of my soul and I grow angry with everybody and fear everybody." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
[+] [-] JustMatthew|7 years ago|reply
Beautiful post, and I think that line encapsulates quite perfectly what any thinking person should keep in mind when it comes to discussions on solitude and socialization.
The difficulty of achieving that balance is that it differs person to person, and culture tends to compound the difficulty of achieving the perfect individual balance.
Imo, self-knowledge and the self-confidence it helps canalize offer the only navigable route through the overpowering currents of culture towards that island of balance.
[+] [-] sonofblah|7 years ago|reply
The people who "choose" to spend time alone, do so because they have that choice available to them--it's a kind of "social privilege" or prerogative, available to those whose time and attention is in most demand.
It's reminiscent of an attitude that doesn't understand why "all those poor people just don't get normal jobs."
[+] [-] Madmallard|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kwhitefoot|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] packet_nerd|7 years ago|reply
There's the kind when I'm absorbed in a book. Far from feeling alone, I feel get caught up in the story and sort of feel like a participant in an imaginary world. It doesn't feel like solitude at all.
Then there's the kind when I'm "in the zone" working on something. I loose track of time, people, and surroundings and when I finally figure it out I feel really good.
The rest of the time I'm just alone and lonely, and that's a bad thing.
[+] [-] nickserv|7 years ago|reply
Whatever the reason, spirituality, philosophy, art, to name a few, people have decided to live alone since at least recorded history...
[+] [-] mc32|7 years ago|reply
I'm not sure this trend can be extricated given family units have become smaller over time as access to medicine and education has increased.
It's not a product of capitalism or democracy, (or communism or authoritarianism); it’s a product progress --how we deal with this modern phenomenon remains to be seen, given this is a pretty recent development (a 20th century development).
[+] [-] drharby|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] clanreborn|7 years ago|reply
Try writing a politically incorrect comment here and see instant refutation followed by downvotes.
People are not good at coming up with morally correct statements in a realtime situation, they don't want to be shunned by saying something unpopular. It's better to giveup on your own terms then be ostracized by a group.
They avoid interactions.