It seems to me like gregarious people and loners can be after the same thing. Some people want acceptance and approval from others whereas other people have more of an inner connection to the same source.
What is the source? We don't understand (yet) but it's an interesting clue that the things other people like about you aren't necessarily the things you like about yourself.
We are totally dependent on others to feel good. It is how we are wired as social creatures. Every single person, without exception, begins their life needy of another's approval and attention. The attention of others is how we construct ourselves.
Over time, we lose part but not all of that need, in different ways, depending on the interpersonal dynamic with our parents. A healthy person's end result is a healthy balance of dependence: too much can be limiting to a person's own agency, while too little means a miserable, lonely existence.
It's not weak to be dependent on others. On the contrary, it requires emotional strength — a strength which is built. Typically by families, but sometimes by close friends, caregivers, or significant others.
tomxor|7 years ago
trukterious|7 years ago
What is the source? We don't understand (yet) but it's an interesting clue that the things other people like about you aren't necessarily the things you like about yourself.
watwut|7 years ago
Needing to be alone after school or work is not quite the same as being alone 24/7 for months.
rland|7 years ago
Over time, we lose part but not all of that need, in different ways, depending on the interpersonal dynamic with our parents. A healthy person's end result is a healthy balance of dependence: too much can be limiting to a person's own agency, while too little means a miserable, lonely existence.
It's not weak to be dependent on others. On the contrary, it requires emotional strength — a strength which is built. Typically by families, but sometimes by close friends, caregivers, or significant others.