[adiusmus]

Interesting points in that article.

Having had a Christmas present rejected by a 10 year old I’m well aware of fake apologies. The kid, who had expressed interest in basketball multiple times, asked me a pointed "why did you give me a basketball?" Accusatory tone as if I had gifted him a turd. When suggested by the relevant horrified parent to apologise he laughed. Then later when forced to apologise he did so robotically. I asked him why he was apologising. "Because I had to". When I asked him if he understood why, he said no. Being the offended party I suggested he think about the why before he considered apologising. He disappeared for awhile then came back with a smirk on his face and apologised again. I asked him why he was apologising again when he didn't mean it. Again "because he was told to."

Delivery and intent actually matters.

Maybe this year a certain someone will get some coal.

[codingdave]

You gave a gift they didn't like. They were rude about it. And then instead of accepting the poor apology of a child, and letting the parents deal with it, you critiqued the child's performance, which also was a refusal to accept the parent's attempt to take a step in the right direction. And you did it twice. And you hold enough of a grudge over it to share this story with the world.

I'm not sure that the child's apology was the only one missing from this story.

[adiusmus]

Interesting criticism. Perhaps more context would help.

They were rude about it. And it was appropriate to criticise the child and the parent. The parent was criticised as that child also did it to others up to that point. Other behaviours like bullying were also creeping in. They hadn't properly addressed it until I actually refused the fake apology. The child had behavioural issues that have now been positively improved through their deliberate effort in subsequent months. Evidence of this is has been seen by teachers at his school apparently. Definitely in his behaviour I've seen as well as his sister.

And he's on the school basketball team now. What a terrible present! Children dislike things for non obvious reasons. Just like adults.

The anecdote shows how an apology has impact. Perhaps you can't handle someone holding a boundary line on acceptable behaviour and this hit a raw nerve for you? I don't know.

The coal was a reference to Christmas, not a grudge.