[sheepmullet]

> Imagine how a man might pick a woman if attractiness was completely off the table

Loyalty, playfulness, flexibility, kindness, intelligence, high energy levels, ability to have kids, doesn’t already have kids, etc.

None of which are positively correlated with a woman’s age.

[JimboOmega]

Some of these I would argue are positively correlated, especially loyalty and kindness. Some I would argue are a bit of a toss up, like intelligence. I am not sure what flexibility means (ability to adapt to change? I would argue that a 40 year old is more capable than a 20-something on average in that regard). Some I feel are more about having a similar level to a partner rather than being an absolute value (energy level).

I feel like this list is really answering the question "what do I find attractive, besides her face/body?", and not "what kind of traits in a partner actually bring me happiness?" - with the exception of kindness and loyalty.

Even as someone who used to identify as a man and thus was in the dating market as such, I can't understand how emotional maturity is of no value; it's one of the most important traits to me in a partner and essentially the reason I picked my last partner for a long term relationship.

[neetdeth]

You're trying to contort a mate selection process that has an inherently sexual-reproductive basis (for most people) into an exercise in platonic pair bonding. It doesn't make sense as such, and it isn't supposed to. People are seeking fulfillment of motivations that are fundamentally evolutionary in nature.

For everything else, we have friendship. (Setting aside the evolutionary advantages of e.g. male coalition-building, which we really can't, but whatever!)

[sheepmullet]

> positively correlated, especially loyalty

How does a string of short term relationships show loyalty?

> flexibility means (ability to adapt to change?

Yes and the willingness.

I’ve known plenty of early 20s women who will drop their careers to follow their boyfriend overseas and very few in their 30s who will.

> I can't understand how emotional maturity is of no value

Why should a man find it valuable in a partner?