[Brockenstein]

You might be surprised what people consider love, and how all sorts of other beliefs get intertwined with it.

IE you have strong sacred long held beliefs that your female children are not independent, are your property. That you want the best for them, according to your beliefs and your customs, which you believe are right. That resorting to "tough love" to get wayward children on the right track is for their own good. A lot of folks would claim or deny they're hurting their children, it's their children who are being hurtful by being "disobedient", bringing dishonor, or rejecting the values on which they were raised. The list goes on and on, the rationalizations are enumerable. And even aside all that, some people just love exercising their authority over others and actively seek opportunities to do it to the maximum degree they possibly can.

It's pretty easy to rationalize cruelty as love. And everyone is the hero of their own story, so not always a lot of incentive to be objective or introspective about it.