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creep | 7 years ago

I also grew up during the transition. We didn't have Internet in the house until I was 14, and even then my computer time was limited. My story is similar to yours. I had a few neighborhood friendships that only worked out because I was able to tell them what I wanted them to do. Otherwise, interactions with my own age group were never 2-way: if they didn't want to do what I wanted to do the way that I wanted to do it, I just went off on my own and was perfectly content.

In my teen years I spent most of my time writing, reading, or walking wherever. Again, I had a few friends, but I was picky and apart from that didn't care to "maintain" the friendships. When I started using the Internet more frequently, I found more passive friendships online that came and went and this was a much better solution for me. It meant I could connect when I wanted to, and instantly end the connection when I wanted to be alone, without much risk.

I probably sound a little more pathological than you, but my point is that some people just are a certain way. Apart from that there are external reasons why kids prefer the Internet to in-person interaction. The Internet as a solution came about for a reason. The world is so populated now that when one walks down the street, your neighbors are unkind or elusive because people cannot keep up with so many relationships at once. Trains are packed, everyone's chattering, everyone's rushing, there are people everywhere but no one is communicating-- there's no time or energy to connect with people. Some guy on the train is crying, but no one is going to comfort him because everyone has so much shit going on. The Internet, in one sense, is a way to reconnect with one's neighbors intimately while keeping a sane distance. If a guy on reddit is telling me he's crying, I instantly attempt to comfort him.

It's a weird thing, for sure. But, personally, I don't see an easy way around it in the short-term.

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