[waivek]

If you're not living in absolute poverty, it's completely possible to take care of your parents as they grow old. My father took care of my grandfather until his last day and they lived under the same roof albeit on different floors.

No matter how my life turns out, I will still do the same for my parents as they have done for theirs.

For large swathes of the population, putting your parents in and old-age home is seen as a complete and utter betrayal for the sacrifices they made for you.

[isostatic]

You have x hours to spend. You can either spend them with yout children or spend them with dementia laden old parents who don’t know who you are

What’s better for you? For your children? For your parents?

A granny flat may be acceptable, but having the in-laws under your roof? It was awful when I was a kid, and we had mother-in-law round for a week or so after she came out of hospital for a knee replacement. We all found it intolerable.

I don’t want to be a burden on my kids, and my parents dont want to be a burden on me.

Unlike in India though, I wouldn’t sue them.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-47154287

[waivek]

I think the key difference is that the visit from your mother-in-law was a novel or unique experience which you might not have the emotional tools to handle. It isn't exactly fair to compare that inexperience with what is a way of life in India.

The visit may have been uncomfortable for you because of the absence of societal and cultural rules to help streamline these situations.

[collyw]

Is it normal in India to stay in the same town as your parents?

I see that as part of the problem in the west, especially if you are educated and have some sort of specialization, you are kind of expected to travel to get a "better job" - though that's a fairly personal decision to be fair. Certainly my parents put more of an emphasis on getting ahead in the working world rather than staying close.

Also I have met a few Indians here in Europe, as far as I am aware they don't have plans to go home, whats the expectation there?

[waivek]

With the recent (and by recent I mean since 1991) opening of the Indian economy, there has been a cultural shift in the Indian mindset.

It might surprise you but leaving India for education or employment is actually pretty commonplace and is not actually in conflict with the picture I have painted of India.

However, India hasn't been as successful as China in rapid development without it affecting cultural values. China has pretty swiftly achieved modernization without westernization which I think was one of the sub-goals of it's architect: Deng Xiaoping who laid the foundations of the same in the 1980's.

Our equivalent of Deng was unfortunately only a brilliant economist, so his 1991 reforms were limited to economic reforms with no social safeguards to help avoid Westernization.

As such, India right now is in a massive state of flux. There are Indians abroad similar to the one's you had met who have siezed the opportunity given to them to massively elevate their quality of life. There are also Indian's abroad who left the country with a very specific goal of either: 1) bringing their family in the next decade or so or 2) secure enough money for an early retirement and return to India.

It really comes down to the type of mindset their parents valued, not the country they were born/raised in.