[fuzzybeard]

I've asked gift givers to instead give contributions towards my kids' college funds. They have too many toys as it is. But from their point of view I can understand not wanting to show up at a kids party empty handed. Compare that to the experience of watching a kid open up a present excitedly and play with it during the party. So I can see why givers prefer that option.

[asark]

Is there somewhere you can set up one of those tax-advantaged college funds such that others can easily add money to it? I can imagine grandparents and such adding money from time to time, maybe even not around holidays/birthdays, if it were a quick & painless process (no more painful than buying something on Amazon).

[EDIT] and I think it'd be an easier sell to discourage toy-giving. The world is drowning in toys for 0-5yo. If you're not too picky and don't mind used stuff you can stock a playroom for a kid in that range from Goodwill and garage sales (and maybe Ikea's toy section for a couple thing) for almost nothing.

[bunderbunder]

I'm a fan of not doing presents during the party at things like birthday parties.

It's boring for pretty much everyone involved. It intensifies the pressure everyone feels to not only bring the present, but try and bring the best present. Which then increases the volume of presents, which then makes it even more boring. I suspect it also reduces the quality of individual presents, too, since the public-ness of the might psych people out a bit. Depending on the kid's personality and whether or not they like being on display like that, it might also be exhausting or intimidating for them.

Long story short, parties are more fun when you spend your time at them partying.

[sanbor]

If you do it from an early age kids wont expect that every party attendant should bring a gif. Of course culture is hard to change. Maybe asking for a drink something to drink/share to give the sharing feeling. I tried a no gifts party and it's hard and you don't want to make people feel uncomfortable.