[DisruptiveDave]

In my junior year of college (very early 2000s), a senior friend was accused of rape by a classmate. Within two days he had to hide out at my girlfriend's house because a large group of large athletes was on the hunt for him to beat him up. Within weeks he was expelled from school. I don't recall the police ever being contacted.

Turns out the girl was ashamed she voluntarily slept with him. She admitted it to friends a couple months later. That was too late, of course. She received zero punishment. He was "lucky" that the police weren't notified on Day 1.

[wccrawford]

I was once told (very emphatically) that no woman would lie about being raped because it's such a horrible thing. I just stood agape.

People like about horrible things all the time to hide things that they think are more horrible.

Worse, some people don't care about anyone but themselves, and will lie for any advantage or benefit.

[bonerman69]

#BelieveAllWomen was in fact a real thing, a year ago....

[kenneth]

We should make the punishment for falsely accusing someone of rape equivalent to the punishment for rape. That's take care of the problem.

[ZeroGravitas]

You should watch the Netflix series "Unbelievable" or read the true story it's based on:

https://www.propublica.org/article/false-rape-accusations-an...

It's eye opening about how hard it is to be believed about even a "classic" masked stranger, home invasion rape.

Having read that (and watched a couple of episodes of the Netflix adaption) I'm more likely to believe the original commenter's friend commited a rape and the victim was just compelled to deny it, possibly suffering twice.

[AzuraJergen]

If they become equivalent, it just increases the odds that the accuser will take it to their graves and the name of the accuse will be tarnished forever.

[janetacarr]

This assumes the court system is infallible though when we know it is not. Plus, I can see something like this deterring actual victims from coming forward.

[excalibur]

....provided "rape" is defined as something other than "whatever the accuser says it is".

[not_a_cop75]

It's not just the school system. I don't dare so much as flirt with anyone in a friendly way, because that becomes fuel for a possible case. It really is to the point where outside of group settings, nothing should ever be done with the opposite sex outside of marriage itself. Whatever women's lib was trying to achieve, it begins to look more and more like Islamization daily. Not to say I hate either, but it seems they used to be opposite goal sets, but slowly they are evolving back to be one and the same. I want women to have rights, but anything where an accusation becomes instantly proof seems to throw us back towards older times of isolation.

[Jun8]

Good point! My understanding is that the horrific situation depicted in The Handmaid’s Tale started by well-educated women pushing on women’s rights! Also suggest reading Houellebecq’s Submission for a related view about pushing legitimate viewpoints to extreme.

[really3452]

> Turns out the girl was ashamed she voluntarily slept with him.

This happened to a classmate of mine in high school but it was reported to the police. He shot himself in the head.

[agumonkey]

I bet a few dollars that everything that is wrong about how we handle sex related issues (be it improper flirt, harassment, or more) is based on a long history of stories like this.

Too often witness are unreliable. There's a gray area where only a patient and wise (ideally) judiciary system can make sense of all this. Otherwise.. it backfires in mobthink.

[scandox]

Well this kind of anecdata if shared really has to come with details. Even if I knew and trusted you well I would need to hear about where the information comes from. There are huge gaps of detail to be filled in.

I am not saying that false accusations do not happen. I'm saying these kind of hearsay stories are not even evidence for the people that tell them.

[vinceguidry]

I think it's horrible that this happened, but to be perfectly honest, this is why society is having a massive argument around what consent means. Did she really consent to having sex with him if she felt so ashamed of it afterward that she accused him of raping her? How voluntary was it really?

If you're a kid in this position, wondering whether it's dangerous to have sex, the answer is yes, it's one of the most dangerous things you can possibly do. Wasn't that long ago that having sex could put you in an early grave with an uncurable disease.

So just add "false accusation of rape" to the ever growing list of things that can happen to you if you're not careful with your jubbly bits.

Get everything in order before you start having sex. If you're in school, make sure your grades are decent, you know how to wrap it, line up someone who you know is interested and already have a friendly rapport with.

To go about it in any other way at all is to invite grave danger. It's always been this way, there has been no point in at least the last 1000 years, probably even longer that sex couldn't royally ruin your life.

[jeffdavis]

Using your logic: Drugs are dangerous. Your rights being violated, your stuff being taken, and getting thrown in jail are just a few more dangers. If you don't want those things to happen, don't do drugs.

The flaw is that you can't equate natural and artificial dangers. Natural dangers are equal-opportunity dangers. Artificial dangers can be used to oppress people.

Also, avoiding behavior X is not enough to avoid the danger. There's not much evidence that Brett Kavanaugh was ever alone with Christine Blasey-Ford, but he still faced serious danger from her.

[senorjazz]

Bollox. I don't think I could disagree more with practically everything you have written.