Does anyone else avoid Facebook because they themselves suck as person? I don't use FB because the activities on it are things I am better off not doing.
I felt strange doing anything on it because I felt people were judging me. It was like I had developed this persona of an educated and successful and fun person when I was on it because I hadn't made any new "friends" since beginning grad school and I was so stressed out, miserable and broke that I was never brave enough to admit it on my own.
After surfing through the countless photos of my friend's girlfriend or my ex gf, I honestly used to feel guilty with the voyeurism. I use to feel hurt seeing my ex gf happy, lonely seeing old friends enjoying themselves, smirk seeing my friend do something stupid. I hated when people tagged me for the same reasons.
I wasted tons of time friending people I would not even wish birthday. I spent countless awkward chat conversations that never went beyond "I had a great day". I spent useless time tweaking my photos and wall so that my family wouldn't see the language that I or my friends were using. I tried to post Go's result on my wall. It became less of enjoying the game than to acquire certain points so that I could post them on my wall.
I logged into Facebook when I didnt have anything to do, which happened a lot. I used to open Facebook like I opened my email and reddit. After a while I just felt too shitty.
I deleted the account. I share photos through Flickr. Not all my friends are there but those who are have taught me a lot about taking photographs. I joined Blip.fm. Not all my friends are there but those who are truly share the passion I have for music. I deleted all my contacts in the messenger and added only those that I truly feel comfortable talking to.
My girlfriend calls me anti social. But she too has come to accept that Facebook is prone to our weakest traits as humans. We love attentions. We love to think of ourselves as something we want to be. We trade our true feelings to be included. We want to be popular. We want our taste in music and art to be value. We crave for external success. It was like high school all over again.
There is a difference between antisocial and asocial, it is the difference between being hostile or antagonistic to others as opposed to simply ignoring or ahunning them.
Equally, people confuse being insecure and attention-seeking with being sociable or worse, popular.
Ok, so I did the same thing as you (delete facebook), but you're wrong in thinking that you're not anti-social by avoiding Facebook.
Antisocial behavior is defined as "behaviour that lacks consideration for others and that may cause damage to society"
Because literally everyone else in your social circle is on Facebook, you're actually forcing them to go out of their way to interact with you, something that fits the definition to a T. Facebook is the preferred method of communication for most people, and if you're ignoring this and forcing people to conform, they'll resent it. Every interaction with you, therefore, has to be on your terms, instead of the agreed-upon social norms (therefore, not considering others).
I only go on facebook to confirm friend requests when people start bugging me about it in real life. I haven't deleted my account, but I might in the near future (or might not). I have never met anyone through facebook and I think that in all the time I've used it (not a lot compared to most Americans my age), I never accomplished anything productive whatsoever. I get more value out of watching re-runs of Law and Order.
i think you'll find more success with Facebook-like thinks if you Think about it less, by which i mean don't strategize or mull over it. try acting from your instincts on what feels right in your core. you'll find yourself taking more honest actions and appreciating how you spend your time, rather than consuming your mind with judgements on yourself and others. "wasting time" sounds to me like a product of taking actions without consulting your gut, like you're chained to your mind instead of your whole being. the fact that wasting time is so much in your vocabulary is like a secon meta level of focusing too much on your mind and strategizing instead of doing.
i haven't yet figured out the right words, but there's something important i'm trying to communicate. feedback welcome.
After letting a profile languish for some time, I got pulled onto Facebook by people who insisted upon messaging me via Facebook rather than via email.
I quit and deleted the account, however, when the demands of reciprocity got not only too time consuming, but too transparent and formulaic to participate in without feeling almost ridiculous.
It is tangentially related to a scene from Fight Club-
Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.
On Facebook, as with many social media sites (including Flickr), people "listen to you" to remind you that you should listen to them. They like your posts and comment on your pictures and send you happy birthdays all to ensure that you feel the obligation to do the same to them.
Life is full of that sort of reciprocity, but never could it be piled onto people with the easy lack of friction that Facebook affords.
Bingo! I've been feeling this way about facebook for quite a while now. I still check it every day when bored or to take my mind off work for a minute but never more than a minute or two... interaction with facebook has become minimal. It was cool back when I was a freshman in college 5 yrs ago and only other college students were on it.
I find it humorous that there is such a need to DEFINE Facebook. It's different things to different people. We really don't need one definition of what it is or a nice tidy list of the ways people use it, what the benefits are, what the drawbacks are, etc. Every time I read about somebody complaining about Facebook, I usually just end up thinking "I don't use it (exactly) that way, so this doesn't (completely) apply to me."
I have a lot of friends that I don't see more than once every year or two, but I will be close to them until the day I die. I like seeing their status updates, their vacation photos, their kids, etc. Facebook makes our connection stronger, not weaker. It doesn't replace the need to see them and talk to them; it makes those infrequent visits/conversations better when they happen because it feels like we haven't really been out of touch for so long.
Oddly enough I have the exact opposite take on it. My wife and I both don't have Facebook accounts, and while most of my friends also do not have accounts, many of my wife's friends do. These friends live in the same state as us, and while we don't live in the same city we still manage to get together frequently. In the last few years we have noticed quite the trend: everyone of these people on Facebook would do a double-take whenever we didn't hear about some large event in their life. They assume that because it was on their Wall, that everyone knew about it. They didn't think to _call_ all their friends to talk about the great news, they simply threw it up on their Wall without thought.
No longer do you have to think about your friends as individuals and how you're going to break news to them, or how they are going to react -- now you can simply throw up a general message and lose the individuality in a flood of responses.
The depersonalization of communication has been exacerbated by a number of different technologies (such as email), however Facebook has allowed us to perfect the art communication without soul.
On the other hand, it also removes the need to contact that person since you already know all the latest news. I'm not comfortable in situations when I meet people I don't see often and they tell me things that I already know, and I have to pretend to not knowing it to avoid the stalkerish feeling it gives me.
You are absolutely right ... Facebook has broadened my social circle in ways that would have been impossible just 6 years ago ...
Sure I don't call all 600 people on my friends list every week or have deep profound conversations with them all the time, but now I know enough about so many people in so many different places. People I could never have met ordinarily.
And I met them through other friends so that gives us enough familiarity that I could go to a new city of a friend on facebook and think nothing about asking them to come have a beer with me or send them a note asking about things to do in their city or what not. It could become a stronger friendship or they could have no personality, but its the possibility of friendship that fascinates me.
We're still working out the kinks with new forms of online communication (twitter/blogging/facebook) etc, but once we do, I have no doubt that we will see that they are net positives for us as a species.
There is perhaps some chance that I could be wrong due to the substantial inertia which Facebook has now accumulated, but I expect that it's just another fad which seems to be peaking if my spider-senses are correct. Facebook is not a particularly brilliant application and the amount of value it delivers is also not that great. If you're a Facebook user or addict, just pause for a moment and ask yourself how much actual value you're getting out of it relative to the time invested.
Honestly? Facebook gives me a ton of value. I keep in closer contact than I otherwise would, with more people I care about. It's simply a more scalable means of keeping in touch with people.
I find it odd that people say things like "that's what we have email and messenger and calendars and sms for". That's the point - I've replaced 5 programs with 1. I still use email and sms (messenger, not so much). But it's now all in one place, with all the people I care about right there, without having to start exchanging usernames.
I don't know how recently you've been a college student, but Facebook still offers a large ammount of value to that demographic. I would hate to make 100+ phone calls to invite people to a party, or to spend the money/time making and posting flyers.
Sure I'd jump ship if another platform provided more value, but that's (somewhat) different then a fad.
If people are Facebook users or addicts, it means they're getting something from it. That something might not be good for them, but people aren't going to volunteer hours a day doing something that isn't providing value in some way.
Facebook may go away, but the reasons why people use sites like Facebook will not. And it's really important to try and discover what those reasons are, so that you can offer that value in your own product.
Drugs are horrible for your body and for your life, but people still use it because it offers something they want. You can sit back and call drugs a fad, or you can look into why people use drugs. With that knowledge, you can invent something radically new that is healthy, and replaces drugs. Or, you can just invent cheaper, stronger drugs. Either way, you'll be rich.
The brilliance of Facebook is that it draws in lots of users. Their funnel is amazing. The app at the bottom of that funnel isn't that great, but manages to deliver value because of the huge userbase.
I don't believe that facebook is the technological fad that tech pundits want them to be. They have infected the infrastructure of the web in ways that livejournal and myspace never could.
I agree, but I would add that they're overhyped as well. I think Facebook's value is somewhere in the middle between current expectations / valuations and a fad. So yes it's big, it will continue to be big, but it's not and never will be Google big.
I could be completely wrong though considering the engineers who've left google for facebook, but then again, maybe that was just for a massive payout?
My takeaway is this - Facebook is the first web application that showed us how easy it is to connect to the people we love, as well as those we know, but do not care about.
Facebook is the mere beginning of the way we will communicate in the future. It has its gripes, and people are starting to get bored with it ("ok so I friended her, now what?").
Nothing happens on Facebook.
Facebook, in my opinion, will eventually fade, and make room for new models of human communication, ones which do give us an added benefit instead of poking and secretly stalking our ex-girlfriend.
> Facebook is the mere beginning of the way we will communicate in the future
I think this is key. Just like iirc led to im and online forums led to reddit/hacker news, facebook will lead to something else ... That is what interests me.
Saying that facebook connects people only in ways limited by the imagination if its creators is true. But still, it CONNECTS PEOPLE. By deleting facebook without finding a replacement that is better than facebook, you are losing this new way of connecting people. Stuff like skype works for connecting with a relatively small social circle. Facebook allows a looser but also much larger circle. Presumably a better means of communication will come along sooner or later. The telephone replaced the telegraph, myspace replaced friendster, but until it comes along facebook(twitter?) is still the best means for this new large scale high volume asynchronous communication that we have.
Zadie Smith is one of my favorite authors. She has a jaw-droppingly gorgeous prose style. It would be nice (for someone) to link to her article (so I will) that prompted this dude to delete his account. http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/25/generat...
Her insights and arguments really needs to be read by everyone of our generation in full, and I mean that in all sincerity. It articulates all the misgivings and worries I have about this phenomenon that has always left a slightly bad taste in my mouth and felt vaguely repellent.
In addendum: I pray for the day I can convert my thoughts into words as judiciously and compellingly, verily I would sell my soul for that knack.
Why is it suddenly such a big thing to delete your Facebook account. Every week it seems like there's another one of these on the frontpage and that means people are voting them there. I'd really like to understand why that is?
Everyone commenting here and on the blog post make out like it's such a huge deal.
Really? Is it? Imagine if I wrote up a big "I closed my MySpace account" post. I'd be laughed out of town. Why's closing a Facebook account such a big deal? Just because it has more users?
Good on the person for doing so, but do we all need to hold hands with them and pray? Because that what it seems like we're doing here.
Google's got just as much, probably more, info on you. Everyone uses Gmail (why, I don't know) but you don't see people writing up big "I closed my Gmail account here's why" posts. Why not? Why is everyone so comfortable with Google knowing everything about their lives in email format?
So I'm really curious: Why do these posts get voted up? Do people really think closing your Facebook account is THAT big of a deal?
I quit Facebook about half a year ago and I find it very refreshing. It's too bad I miss some events, but it is so relaxing. No longer do I have to think with every picture: this would be good for Facebook. No longer do I spend hours looking at pictures of people I don't know. No longer is my private information shared. Finally: when I meet people, I can tell a story without having to hear: "yeah, I read it on Facebook".
Few people seem to entertain options between Facebook addiction and account deletion. I have a simple practical use for it: easy access to acquaintances. Here's a recent story I can share.
I was on vacation in DC with friends, and I walked right past a girl I was certain was a friend of mine from college. I found her number on Facebook, sent her a text, and found out that it was her. We met up for drinks the next evening. Do we chat regularly as a result of having met up? No, but we enjoyed reminiscing and sharing our stories.
Not a single comment on that great blog post. Where is the discussion? In a vibrant community like Hacker News.
Facebook has something valuable... we've already logged in, so there's no barrier to making a comment that is voiced from our own identity. Fewer clicks, no barriers, and boom - the comment is public.
But Hacker News does that for me, since I have a long-lasting cookie that I don't clear... hence this comment... and nothing "social" happening on that blog. Interesting.
What is starting to really irk me about Facebook is how birthdays are handled. It's like the site is basically one big happy birthday wish site. Each day it's somebody else's birthday and all their friends take turns trying to write a somewhat unique birthday wish, like:
Friend #1: Happy Birthday!
Friend #2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!
Friend #3: happy b-day!
Friend #4: Have a wonderful birthday!
And it goes on and on down the list. Some unfortunate people feel the need to individually reply to each and every birthday wish. Each day it's like this for a different person, until once a year when it's your birthday and then everyone's doing it to you.
It's really, really stupid. And I wish there was just a way for me to automatically generate and deliver my friends a birthday wish on the right date. But the Facebook API prevents you from being able to post to your friends wall.
To each his own. Personally, the birthday reminders are the only reason I use Facebook. Also, each year, every attractive woman I've met in the past 4 years wishes me happy birthday, which is a nice ego boost.
It's not like you don't have control over your participation in this silly ritual... I think automating a meaningless post would be the wrong way to go.
I try to write thoughtful, detailed birthday messages for people who really mean something to me, ignore birthday notifications of more casual friends and temporarily hide my own birthday when it's getting close to prevent the avalanche of hollow wishes.
Facebook is an amazing product. However, the more facebook unravels their plans for the future, and the more we learn about their past, the less I trust them.
We can write to hacker news with our articles, bitching and moaning about facebook, or quietly build an alternative social network with the values we want.
Jacob: I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing
right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club: Can you what?
Jacob: Are you online at all?
Girl at Club: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jacob: How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club: You come find me.
Jacob: That sounds... exhausting.
I tweeted the fact that my blog about quitting Facebook has been published. So meta that it hurts.
This article amounts to a wisp of air amongst a wind of change. It's a tad late, but better late than never. Some users of Facebook will never quit. It's a realization that permeated Facebook's offices for a long time and these are the users that just don't care period. With blinders on, they will obey the rules, and let their online privacy erode.
What's more important, and the conversation that we should be having: where to go next? What's our collective need that an online network can fulfill ? Maybe it's not online and in fact, going backwards is the new cool. Who knows?
My dad (58) just signed up and I got the friend request Sunday night. Right now, his friends list consist of him and some guy in his computer class, and me. But in a few days, I know I'll get a friend request from my mom and some of my aunts. I'm pretty sure this thing is still growing.
alas, for every person that delete their profiles there is another 2-3 that sign up. I am not saying that is sustainable, but they are growing. This is especially true in Asia where in the last 2 years has quadrupled.
I don't know. The author seems to think we'll become Zuckerberg's zombie army due to extended Facebook use. So was the same true of the time UseNet? MSN Messenger? And all those others when they were highly popular? Weren't we trapped in their creators' worlds? With before, when new tech comes along, with an interface, or "world" we prefer to use, then we'll move on. We'll interface with people on the web in a different way. Habits come and go.
Usenet is at least a decentralized thing owned by nobody and governed by a mixture of elected representatives and popular vote. Or was, back in the day. Therefore, usenet users weren't anybody's zombie army.
I wonder if there isn't a correlation amongst Facebook users that falls along introvert-extrovert lines. Specifically, I wonder if introverts aren't more likely to be disappointed with their experiences with Facebook because they crave deep, interpersonal relationships with fewer people while extroverts are satisfied with Facebook because it allows them to keep up to date with hundreds of people.
I find that I regularly check Facebook and am regularly disappointed with what I encounter there both as it relates to the activities of my friends and their responses to my activities. I tend to want deeper feedback and discussion which clearly isn't the model for Facebook. Whereas I know plenty of extrovert friends who love Facebook, are constantly checking in and because they have hundreds of friends, are constantly validated.
Certainly this is all anecdotal and biased given that I'm strongly introverted but every time I see someone say they are giving up Facebook or are disappointed in it (including myself), it seems to me that person is most likely introverted and thus not well served by the end goals of Facebook.
Why do these facebook account deletion articles always have to be either "addiction" or "deletion". Regarding the article, its kinda stupid to generalize that we are all living in the world with rules set by Mark, if I take that generalization much further we are living in the real world with rules set by people higher up in the chain. But thats not true as you can see that lot of people around you behave/act differently to these things.
Biggest takeaway for me from the article is that enormous amount of time, thought spent on yet another communication medium in evolving world. I have to wonder how scared people were when they first saw email!!
The far more substantial commentary by Zaddie Smith (http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/25/generat...), which the author refers to a few times should really have been the article linked. The author's entire point is much more eloquently made by the original.
I too struggle with the idea of what Facebook has become and currently is, just like many others. However, I cannot help but feel that anyone who speaks against Facebook is simply jealous that they could not fit 500 million+ users into their own representation of social interactions taken online. Facebook just like many of it's predecessors (hotOrNot.com,addictinggames.com, forumns, aol instant messenger) has combined the best features of these already existent sites into a single trustworthy one. You no longer have to scour the internet to obtain the pleasure that these type of sites produced.
It is this concept of entertainment that makes Facebook what it is today. A single source of entertainment, and a place to peak deeper into the lives of those around you with or without participating in those lives. As with many different forms of entertainment if you indulge too deeply you are consumed by your indulgence.
For the time being Facebook has a place on the internet. Will it be a main stay for years to come? Well that is very hard to predict. I truly believe Facebook's biggest internet value add will come in the form of an online digital pass. I feel those leading Facebook's directions also believe that too. If they can satisfy the majority of its users basic desire for entertainment, continue to build out the graph API, and keep giving more reasons for businesses to utilize the graph API then soon enough Facebook will will realize what Microsoft never was able to with the Microsoft Passport from the Internets early days.
[+] [-] kunjaan|15 years ago|reply
I felt strange doing anything on it because I felt people were judging me. It was like I had developed this persona of an educated and successful and fun person when I was on it because I hadn't made any new "friends" since beginning grad school and I was so stressed out, miserable and broke that I was never brave enough to admit it on my own.
After surfing through the countless photos of my friend's girlfriend or my ex gf, I honestly used to feel guilty with the voyeurism. I use to feel hurt seeing my ex gf happy, lonely seeing old friends enjoying themselves, smirk seeing my friend do something stupid. I hated when people tagged me for the same reasons.
I wasted tons of time friending people I would not even wish birthday. I spent countless awkward chat conversations that never went beyond "I had a great day". I spent useless time tweaking my photos and wall so that my family wouldn't see the language that I or my friends were using. I tried to post Go's result on my wall. It became less of enjoying the game than to acquire certain points so that I could post them on my wall.
I logged into Facebook when I didnt have anything to do, which happened a lot. I used to open Facebook like I opened my email and reddit. After a while I just felt too shitty.
I deleted the account. I share photos through Flickr. Not all my friends are there but those who are have taught me a lot about taking photographs. I joined Blip.fm. Not all my friends are there but those who are truly share the passion I have for music. I deleted all my contacts in the messenger and added only those that I truly feel comfortable talking to.
My girlfriend calls me anti social. But she too has come to accept that Facebook is prone to our weakest traits as humans. We love attentions. We love to think of ourselves as something we want to be. We trade our true feelings to be included. We want to be popular. We want our taste in music and art to be value. We crave for external success. It was like high school all over again.
[+] [-] epo|15 years ago|reply
Equally, people confuse being insecure and attention-seeking with being sociable or worse, popular.
[+] [-] sudont|15 years ago|reply
Antisocial behavior is defined as "behaviour that lacks consideration for others and that may cause damage to society"
Because literally everyone else in your social circle is on Facebook, you're actually forcing them to go out of their way to interact with you, something that fits the definition to a T. Facebook is the preferred method of communication for most people, and if you're ignoring this and forcing people to conform, they'll resent it. Every interaction with you, therefore, has to be on your terms, instead of the agreed-upon social norms (therefore, not considering others).
[+] [-] Qz|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] diN0bot|15 years ago|reply
i haven't yet figured out the right words, but there's something important i'm trying to communicate. feedback welcome.
[+] [-] aaronblohowiak|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ergo98|15 years ago|reply
I quit and deleted the account, however, when the demands of reciprocity got not only too time consuming, but too transparent and formulaic to participate in without feeling almost ridiculous.
It is tangentially related to a scene from Fight Club-
Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.
On Facebook, as with many social media sites (including Flickr), people "listen to you" to remind you that you should listen to them. They like your posts and comment on your pictures and send you happy birthdays all to ensure that you feel the obligation to do the same to them.
Life is full of that sort of reciprocity, but never could it be piled onto people with the easy lack of friction that Facebook affords.
[+] [-] TimothyBurgess|15 years ago|reply
Bingo! I've been feeling this way about facebook for quite a while now. I still check it every day when bored or to take my mind off work for a minute but never more than a minute or two... interaction with facebook has become minimal. It was cool back when I was a freshman in college 5 yrs ago and only other college students were on it.
[+] [-] rewind|15 years ago|reply
I have a lot of friends that I don't see more than once every year or two, but I will be close to them until the day I die. I like seeing their status updates, their vacation photos, their kids, etc. Facebook makes our connection stronger, not weaker. It doesn't replace the need to see them and talk to them; it makes those infrequent visits/conversations better when they happen because it feels like we haven't really been out of touch for so long.
[+] [-] jbondeson|15 years ago|reply
No longer do you have to think about your friends as individuals and how you're going to break news to them, or how they are going to react -- now you can simply throw up a general message and lose the individuality in a flood of responses.
The depersonalization of communication has been exacerbated by a number of different technologies (such as email), however Facebook has allowed us to perfect the art communication without soul.
[+] [-] haraball|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] trustfundbaby|15 years ago|reply
Sure I don't call all 600 people on my friends list every week or have deep profound conversations with them all the time, but now I know enough about so many people in so many different places. People I could never have met ordinarily.
And I met them through other friends so that gives us enough familiarity that I could go to a new city of a friend on facebook and think nothing about asking them to come have a beer with me or send them a note asking about things to do in their city or what not. It could become a stronger friendship or they could have no personality, but its the possibility of friendship that fascinates me.
We're still working out the kinks with new forms of online communication (twitter/blogging/facebook) etc, but once we do, I have no doubt that we will see that they are net positives for us as a species.
[+] [-] motters|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] edanm|15 years ago|reply
I find it odd that people say things like "that's what we have email and messenger and calendars and sms for". That's the point - I've replaced 5 programs with 1. I still use email and sms (messenger, not so much). But it's now all in one place, with all the people I care about right there, without having to start exchanging usernames.
[+] [-] Wilduck|15 years ago|reply
Sure I'd jump ship if another platform provided more value, but that's (somewhat) different then a fad.
[+] [-] dominostars|15 years ago|reply
Facebook may go away, but the reasons why people use sites like Facebook will not. And it's really important to try and discover what those reasons are, so that you can offer that value in your own product.
Drugs are horrible for your body and for your life, but people still use it because it offers something they want. You can sit back and call drugs a fad, or you can look into why people use drugs. With that knowledge, you can invent something radically new that is healthy, and replaces drugs. Or, you can just invent cheaper, stronger drugs. Either way, you'll be rich.
[+] [-] brlewis|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] seanalltogether|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rapind|15 years ago|reply
I could be completely wrong though considering the engineers who've left google for facebook, but then again, maybe that was just for a massive payout?
[+] [-] ecounysis|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] yuvadam|15 years ago|reply
My takeaway is this - Facebook is the first web application that showed us how easy it is to connect to the people we love, as well as those we know, but do not care about.
Facebook is the mere beginning of the way we will communicate in the future. It has its gripes, and people are starting to get bored with it ("ok so I friended her, now what?").
Nothing happens on Facebook.
Facebook, in my opinion, will eventually fade, and make room for new models of human communication, ones which do give us an added benefit instead of poking and secretly stalking our ex-girlfriend.
[+] [-] Tichy|15 years ago|reply
I think connecting to someone used to mean something different, although I am not sure what it was.
[+] [-] trustfundbaby|15 years ago|reply
I think this is key. Just like iirc led to im and online forums led to reddit/hacker news, facebook will lead to something else ... That is what interests me.
[+] [-] dusklight|15 years ago|reply
Saying that facebook connects people only in ways limited by the imagination if its creators is true. But still, it CONNECTS PEOPLE. By deleting facebook without finding a replacement that is better than facebook, you are losing this new way of connecting people. Stuff like skype works for connecting with a relatively small social circle. Facebook allows a looser but also much larger circle. Presumably a better means of communication will come along sooner or later. The telephone replaced the telegraph, myspace replaced friendster, but until it comes along facebook(twitter?) is still the best means for this new large scale high volume asynchronous communication that we have.
[+] [-] igravious|15 years ago|reply
Her insights and arguments really needs to be read by everyone of our generation in full, and I mean that in all sincerity. It articulates all the misgivings and worries I have about this phenomenon that has always left a slightly bad taste in my mouth and felt vaguely repellent.
In addendum: I pray for the day I can convert my thoughts into words as judiciously and compellingly, verily I would sell my soul for that knack.
[+] [-] smoyer|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] muppetman|15 years ago|reply
Why is it suddenly such a big thing to delete your Facebook account. Every week it seems like there's another one of these on the frontpage and that means people are voting them there. I'd really like to understand why that is? Everyone commenting here and on the blog post make out like it's such a huge deal.
Really? Is it? Imagine if I wrote up a big "I closed my MySpace account" post. I'd be laughed out of town. Why's closing a Facebook account such a big deal? Just because it has more users?
Good on the person for doing so, but do we all need to hold hands with them and pray? Because that what it seems like we're doing here.
Google's got just as much, probably more, info on you. Everyone uses Gmail (why, I don't know) but you don't see people writing up big "I closed my Gmail account here's why" posts. Why not? Why is everyone so comfortable with Google knowing everything about their lives in email format?
So I'm really curious: Why do these posts get voted up? Do people really think closing your Facebook account is THAT big of a deal?
[+] [-] chriseidhof|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] flurie|15 years ago|reply
I was on vacation in DC with friends, and I walked right past a girl I was certain was a friend of mine from college. I found her number on Facebook, sent her a text, and found out that it was her. We met up for drinks the next evening. Do we chat regularly as a result of having met up? No, but we enjoyed reminiscing and sharing our stories.
[+] [-] idm|15 years ago|reply
Facebook has something valuable... we've already logged in, so there's no barrier to making a comment that is voiced from our own identity. Fewer clicks, no barriers, and boom - the comment is public.
But Hacker News does that for me, since I have a long-lasting cookie that I don't clear... hence this comment... and nothing "social" happening on that blog. Interesting.
[+] [-] nicholalexander|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dstein|15 years ago|reply
Friend #1: Happy Birthday!
Friend #2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!
Friend #3: happy b-day!
Friend #4: Have a wonderful birthday!
And it goes on and on down the list. Some unfortunate people feel the need to individually reply to each and every birthday wish. Each day it's like this for a different person, until once a year when it's your birthday and then everyone's doing it to you.
It's really, really stupid. And I wish there was just a way for me to automatically generate and deliver my friends a birthday wish on the right date. But the Facebook API prevents you from being able to post to your friends wall.
Tear down those garden walls Mr. Zuckerberg!!
[+] [-] maxawaytoolong|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] c3o|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] _fool|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sudonim|15 years ago|reply
We can write to hacker news with our articles, bitching and moaning about facebook, or quietly build an alternative social network with the values we want.
[+] [-] bad_user|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sfphotoarts|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] michaelchisari|15 years ago|reply
There are quite a few of us doing just that. Here's my contribution:
http://opensource.appleseedproject.org
[+] [-] wildmXranat|15 years ago|reply
This article amounts to a wisp of air amongst a wind of change. It's a tad late, but better late than never. Some users of Facebook will never quit. It's a realization that permeated Facebook's offices for a long time and these are the users that just don't care period. With blinders on, they will obey the rules, and let their online privacy erode.
What's more important, and the conversation that we should be having: where to go next? What's our collective need that an online network can fulfill ? Maybe it's not online and in fact, going backwards is the new cool. Who knows?
[+] [-] ojbyrne|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] golgo13|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jbhelms|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tarkin2|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] limmeau|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] scotch_drinker|15 years ago|reply
I find that I regularly check Facebook and am regularly disappointed with what I encounter there both as it relates to the activities of my friends and their responses to my activities. I tend to want deeper feedback and discussion which clearly isn't the model for Facebook. Whereas I know plenty of extrovert friends who love Facebook, are constantly checking in and because they have hundreds of friends, are constantly validated.
Certainly this is all anecdotal and biased given that I'm strongly introverted but every time I see someone say they are giving up Facebook or are disappointed in it (including myself), it seems to me that person is most likely introverted and thus not well served by the end goals of Facebook.
[+] [-] wippler|15 years ago|reply
Biggest takeaway for me from the article is that enormous amount of time, thought spent on yet another communication medium in evolving world. I have to wonder how scared people were when they first saw email!!
[+] [-] alsocasey|15 years ago|reply
[+] [-] gabea|15 years ago|reply
It is this concept of entertainment that makes Facebook what it is today. A single source of entertainment, and a place to peak deeper into the lives of those around you with or without participating in those lives. As with many different forms of entertainment if you indulge too deeply you are consumed by your indulgence.
For the time being Facebook has a place on the internet. Will it be a main stay for years to come? Well that is very hard to predict. I truly believe Facebook's biggest internet value add will come in the form of an online digital pass. I feel those leading Facebook's directions also believe that too. If they can satisfy the majority of its users basic desire for entertainment, continue to build out the graph API, and keep giving more reasons for businesses to utilize the graph API then soon enough Facebook will will realize what Microsoft never was able to with the Microsoft Passport from the Internets early days.