[throwaway66920]

> Second, there may be gender differences in the perceived causes of breakups. Women blame their male partners more often for breakups than men blame their female partners (Choo et al., 1996). In addition, women more frequently report problematic partner behaviors as the reason for a breakup, such as infidelity, substance abuse, and mental or physical abuse (Amato & Previti, 2003; Morris, Reiber, & Roman, 2015). Men, in contrast, are more likely to claim that they do not know what caused their past breakups (Amato & Previti, 2003).

This feels like the important bit to me. People view their ex’s less favorably if they blame them for the breakup; and women blame men more than men blame women. Women also reported receiving less support from their partners than men. Reading between the lines, men in average like the women more because the women put in more effort to the relationship.

[scarmig]

Alternatively, society ascribes agency to men in a way it doesn't to women, and so men are less likely to blame external factors or expect support.

[kls]

Right, they just need to man up. I say that in jest but you hit on an important part of it. While some may not admit fault in the open, Men (I know I am generalizing) do internalize failure, it is a core part of their ego and identity. So it would seem natural for them to internalize the failure of a relationship.

[throwaway66920]

That doesn’t mesh with my anecdata nor data on the proportion of housework women handle. But I do think the blame comment has merit.

[stronglikedan]

Not to mention a lot of guys won't break up with someone when they want to, but will instead do things to get the person to dump them.

[throwaway66920]

I’m not sure this varies by gender