[cannonedhamster]

I've been really lucky in my treatment and I'm well past my expected survivability so I'm good with the condition.

Regarding the taint you feel, that's similar to writers block. Try a different setting if you can, make sure you're enjoying yourself before you start. Then just go with it. No expectations, no harsh deadlines. You get done what you get done and you're going to have fun doing it. This is going to sound like a really odd thing to do but it really does change some things, take a few deep breaths holding them for a bit before letting them go and after that just shake the anxiety out. Shake your whole body until you feel silly. When you sit down, smile, even if it's forced and make sure your posture is not slouched. Your mind will follow your body. Then start whatever it is you want to do.