[cgs]

You are trying to fill a basic human need, which is simply beeing seen by others. What could alleviate some of this pain is simple social connection. I was always reading about how important it is and kind of blew it off, but as I get older I'm understanding how important it is to our well being. Reach out and make connections. Get coffee with a friend who listens to you. Find a hobby where you are interacting with people in meatspace. This may even lead to finding deeper purpose in ways you may not have expected.