[i_v]

Meetups! They're great and everyone is super welcoming. Depending on your city, there should be a few tech events happening. Use that as a launching pad to branch into areas outside of your craft. In September, I challenged myself to attend a meetup a day and I found myself going to movies, dinners, bars, parks, and so on meeting and talking to people I'd have never met otherwise. Now, I wouldn't recommend everyone do what I did but in my case, I needed something to force me out of my typical routine of spending all of my time in front of a computer.

You're fortunate in that you do spend time talking with strangers on IRC. I actually spend very little time talking to people except in person and I routinely find myself isolated if I'm not constantly pushing myself to reach out to my friends.

From the sound of it, small talk could be a challenge for you. It's definitely a skill and I'd recommend you take note of the points in conversations where you've had trouble and spend time coming up with responses you'll feel confident in using. This is a strategy I've used since my early 20s for everything from casual conversations to interviewing to sales/investor pitches. It takes time and at the end of the day you'll have to accept that we all have our fair share of blunders.

I'd recommend writing out your challenges and trying to break them down as much as possible. It makes it easier to then focus on one area at a time: - Overcoming any shyness or social awkwardness you might feel when approaching someone you don't know. - Becoming a better conversationalist to be able to keep the flow of a conversation going. - Meeting new people who you share some common ground with. - Building friendships with those acquaintances. - And finally, over a longer period of time, deepening those relationships.

Some of these or all of these could be things you want to focus on. From there, switch into problem solving mode and Google your way to success. For me, this has been a lifelong challenge of mine. I love meeting and talking to new people but being a remote worker as well as a homebody can make for a lonely lifestyle if I'm not paying close attention.

I wish you the best of luck out there!