[AbenezerMamo]

I relate to your struggle and on the bright side, getting better at this does give you and your thoughts more autonomy.

Sorry, I don’t have a solution for you. However, I can share what I feel contributes to the barrier that exists between you, change, and change management. In jazz, being a good collaborator is often referred to as “having big ears”. It’s necessary for players to tune their style to match that of others and selflessly create space for others to do that realllly sweet sounding solo that’s so grooovy!

What’s the point? If you want to make change, focus on changing the environment so it nurtures the uncomfort of evolving change to take effect without trying to control it like an orchestra. Ken from Google Ventures has some good writing on this to check out.

To truly listen, you have to relinquish the desire to think about how you’ll respond or the thing from 30 seconds ago. How do you do that? Idk, lmk if you figure it out. It’s hard — and it requires practice.

Proactively changing your behavior to be receptive to others will lead to your inevitable growth into “leadership” or “influence”. The best leaders are the ones who listen best. It starts with you.