[oxAAAFFB]

This article is everything that’s wrong with internet media distribution. I’m traveling and my data overseas is very restricted in bandwidth. It takes a long time for the text to even load. And the text is among the first things to be loaded. And things are displayed as they are loaded because of course they designed it that way. And so I have to sit there reading a few lines at a time before another image or formatting element is loaded, shifting the entire column of text randomly in one direction or another. The fucking text randomly moves as I am trying to read it. It’s like it was designed to torture people. And the cherry on top is that it’s not even fucking necessary, as HN demonstrates, because a lean webpage could load everything in a fraction of a second. But no, everyone things it’s a good idea to pass around a fucking megabyte of JavaScript just to read filler articles. Good job. Good.

And thanks to the writhing inbred freak that is modern JavaScript, I get to enjoy another form of tech enlightenment which is that every time I scroll slightly upwards the fucking dynamic title bar pops down and blocks the text that I was reading. And then I scroll down and it goes away, ruining the alignment of the text with the top of the screen which I maintain to aid my reading. And like a tenacious torturer the fucking title bar pops up and down and up and down. I am living forever in the insane JavaScript bouncy house praying to god that I can find some way to kill myself to make the pain stop.