[avenger123]

You've asked a question without an easy answer and answers that will be different for everyone.

It's easy to live life in our society where we are the center of our own universe. Having a child disrupts this notion quite radically. Your life is still your own but now a child is affected by what actions you take. So you now have a responsibility to this other human being. Every person handles this responsibility differently. One way to look at this responsibility is transactional. I think your two points fall into this category.

Another way to handle this responsibility is to understand that child is now dependent on you and is an extension of you in every way. They will grow up to be become their own but you played a significant part in bringing them into this world and have a significant role in shaping them. Their happiness is your happiness and your happiness is their happiness. And unfortunately, sometimes it's the deepest unhappiness and tragedy that any human can face. I consider anyone that has healthy children with being greatly blessed.

So to answer your question, yes, kids can make you extremely happy and kids can also make you extremely miserable. Where you land on this depends on so many factors,some that are in your control and others that are not.

One thing I will say is that we can choose to be a parent but we don't choose our children. They can be born healthy or extremely unhealthy with a terminal disease, or other medical conditions. It's a gamble. Raising a healthy child will certainly have a higher chance of being happier. Raising an unhealthy child would certainly be in the range of unhappiness to abject grief.

I speak from personal experience but I can say that a relationship with a child isn't the same as other loving relationships in ones life. I don't know how to articulate this but being a father or mother brings out the best in us more so than other relationships. I can say I have experienced a fuller life as a result of being a parent (with measures of happiness and unhappiness). I am more human as a result of being a parent.