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kohtatsu | 5 years ago

This is parody, tho I had to double check.

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jmnicolas|5 years ago

Yeah they would have named it something innocuous like AlwaysSafe.

panpanna|5 years ago

Dude, are you in marketing? You should be.

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New functions in Android 13:

AlwaysSafe: by always having the mic on, Google can detect when you are being mugged and contact the authorities.

CleaySky: GPS is now always active to provide a better user experience. Family accounts also share their location with each other in real-time!

FastBrowse: we use Google servers to compress all your browsing traffic (this includes 3rd party browsers) to minimize data usage and reduce latencies.

BigMac: All devices will now use randomized MAC addresses for wifi and Bluetooth to improve privacy. (For the technical reasons this function will only work if you are a Nest costumer or have a Google Home device).

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(This is a joke people. Although, Google being Google, I can picture this happening)

msla|5 years ago

Right: It's impossible to imagine Huawei being allowed to open-source anything.