[jolks]

Initially, I learned by experiencing working with such leaders first-hand. After some time, I noticed repeating patterns in their behavior and I started to ask if there is any scientific explanation behind these patterns.

After much search for answers, I stumbled upon the timely publication of "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Green in 2018. It opened my eyes to the toxic narcissism around us.

I started to read articles, quora discussions, books, selected research papers on the topic. Working with those leaders and coworkers in my day job helped me to digest the content and reinforce my understanding of how they think and act. At first it was difficult not to be emotionally affected in the "Devaluation" phase (Lookup "narcissistic abuse cycle" on Google Images) but as time passes, I approached the problem as rationally as I can, I learned not to take it personally aka Grey Rock Method.

To help you folks to quickly get started, assuming you can only read one book, I highly recommend "Don't You Know Who I Am?: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula. It was published in the late 2019 and in my opinion, the best book by a licensed clinical psychologist.

The "The Laws of Human Nature" book is more of a heavy-read as it covers not just toxic narcissism.

For those who prefer more practical book and especially if you do not have the means to leave toxic relationships and workplaces, I recommend "How to Handle a Narcissist: Understanding and Dealing with a Range of Narcissistic Personalities" book by Theresa Jackson.

To add to the article, the overconfidence mentioned is actually just a fake display of what the narcissistic leaders want the world to perceive them. Behind the fake display is pathological insecurity or low self-esteem. The fake display is a form of defense mechanism. Those leaders are addicted to having "audiences" for their reality show or drama in which they are the center of everything.