Ask HN: What is your biggest problem?

[dazzlevolta]

Hi HN,

I am proposing a little community-brainstorming here and I am very curious about your answers to this very simple (and purposely broad) question:

  What is your biggest problem right now?

[omosubi]

My lack of focus. I pair programmed with a colleague the other day and her ability to focus without losing sight of a goal was incredible. We were debugging for like 3 hours without dropping a beat and i can't go without a distraction for like a half hour. I'm guessing you're asking about this to generate business ideas though

[giantg2]

Somsone did turn this into a business idea - big pharma. Some devs take amphetamines to increase focus. There are physicians who will prescribe Adderall for you to do better at your job, although it's a bit of a grey area and you'll have to shop around to find one.

[segmondy]

Find a pairing partner and pair program all the time?

[giantg2]

That people don't just give me tons of money.

On a more serious note, I would say people in power not following the rules. That includes managers at companies violating policies to the detriment of their employees. Another example is law enforcement and politicians breaking the law, violating procedures/regulations, or making mistakes that negatively impact citizens and not taking any responsibility or steps to make it right.

I list this as the biggest problem because it has so many problems throughout the system and very little recourse for when it happens (you're asking the very system that f'd you, to make it right).

[pmiller2]

I have this problem, too, sadly. :( Things would be much better, in general, if people would just follow the rules (when applicable) and be predictable.

[giardini]

but what is your biggest problem?

[yesitstrue]

I have to fix my ADHD cause I can barely work. Think my meds don't work anymore and I'll end up going abroad to buy different ones. (only 1 kind locally)

BD (bipolar disorder) interferes too, can't find stability. Had to change meds (difficulty recalling words & little dumbed down) and just went ~1.5 month depression. Am kinda stable again, but not really normal stable (starting to forget how life was before BD).

Together with those have to fix my NPD personality disorder. Now this is a tough one.

But can't fucking read a fucking NPD book cause of the ADHD. It's complex.

[emit_time]

ADHD here as well. I used to spend ~6-8 hours on my phone a day prepandemic. By far my worst issue.

Now during the pandemic... more like 10...

[kutettan10]

Being unemployed. i have over 2 years experience as a content writer for blogs and websites. But I don't know how to communicate with clients as a freelancer. Currently i have no new projects and is depressed. I live with my father and i do not contribute anything to the monthly budget.

[mikkoad]

How to contact you?

[throaway888]

I'm in my early-mid 20's and I feel dispassionate/disinterested doing much other than gaming and consuming content after work. There's no real "community" that I am a part of outside of work.

I'm working on losing weight right now to build confidence and get into more things but until then it's just work -> gaming -> consume content -> sleep -> repeat.

I feel like I need to find something outside work to enrich my life and make new friends...

[domano]

I was in the same situation 5 years ago.

The solution for me was focusing on 1 problem at a time for 1 year.

This was my personal solution:

I started with smoking and i quit smoking first. Year 1

Then weight. Just stop drinking soda or anything sweet and drop all candy. Withdrawal is awful (physically painful) for a week, after a month you won't miss it a bit. Forget about candy forever, just desserts in restaurants for special occasions.

Lift weights at home, start with water bottles. Just keep at it and try to improve a bit every 2 days, every small improvement is a win. Go for walks.

After a year you will be fine, i lost 45 kilos in 2 years whilst still enjoying normal food except candy. Year 2 (will become a habit)

Kickstart your career. Learn new tech in your domain and try to apply it in side projects and/or give conference talks about things you just learned. Remotely this is easier than ever. Have courage and propose architecture changes etc. If your company is unaccepting switch companies. Year 3

Now this one is hard because of covid: Go to meetups, especially gaming / board gaming focused ones. Make these social things a priority. If anyone asks you to go somewhere do it no matter what, even if you do not feel like it. Keep doing this, you will build relationships. Year 4

[Jtsummers]

That sounds familiar to me. If it weren't for COVID, I'd suggest a similar path to what I took (led to both losing weight and building up a social group) which is to join a team sport. Like a local soccer league, if you're very out of shape take it easy the first season then use the improvements you do see as motivation to continue exercising between seasons.

However, I don't know of any soccer leagues going on that aren't COVID hotbeds. Kickball and softball provide a lot more space between players, but doesn't reach the same activity level. But being in shape helps with both of them and they can both provide good social connections.

I also joined two other groups at about the same time. The area's "Young Professional" group, which was a monthly meetup of professionals aged about 22-35. And a church group (if you're not at all religious this will not be of any interest to you) that was about the same age range and met up twice a month. Through both I found new friends and started doing more things (I actually joined soccer through the friends made at the church group).

However, COVID is messing all of those things up. You can still see if there are groups that are meeting and join them so long as they're being reasonably cautious and meet your personal safety threshold.

[giantg2]

One thing that came to mind for me is mushrooming. You can usually find a local mycological club to go foraging with. You don't even have to eat the mushrooms if you don't want to. You can go and learn about finding them, cooking them, interesting forms/traits, etc. It's a great way to have a common interest and get out hiking with a purpose. Being outdoors is also a great low risk (from a covid perspective) way to gather with others. The only downside right now is that, depending on your location, winter doesn't offer as many foraging opportunities as the other seasons.

[the_only_law]

Same situation here. Add the cliché "never fit in anywhere" crap and im worried where I'll be in a decade. Pre-covid I was making an effort to go out more and all, but with limited results. I figured with the insane amount of free time covid gave me, I could at least be somewhat productive and had big project and learning goals, but I'm not as smart / drive as I once thiught and most of my projects end up being too expensive to make much progress on in a meaningful amount of time

[pmiller2]

Right now? I have a neighbor in my apartment building whose door I literally must walk past in order to get to my apartment. That neighbor assaulted me, on video, and my landlord doesn't want to do anything about it, except... put up a surveillance camera.

[idoh]

Would it be crazy to talk to a lawyer? Most lawyers will talk to you for free, and you can see what your options are.

[2rsf]

That is terrible but what can a landlord legally do ? they can be sued by the other side.

[mvind]

Lack of time. Taking graduate courses in mathematics and economics, working part time in a bank, working out 3-4 times a week, spending time with my family (transport time). I don't really have time to pursue those odd ideas or just really dive deep into a new hobby or subject.

I guess you have to pay price for everything - so maybe in the future I will change my priorities.

[kaskakokos]

I find little meat in life that is offered as standard.

I mean: work, produce, consume, agree and enjoy the show (only if you keep dancing and only as long as it lasts).

Where is the joy? How much joy am I neglecting to follow standards I have not chosen?

I am looking for alternatives such as more dedication to my people, hobbies and joyful knowledge, finding that this has little overlap with the expected way of life.

[nvusuvu]

I find the most joy in meaningful relationships I have fostered with my wife and kids over the last 18 years. That joy is further enrichened and deepened by my unwavering belief in a plan created by God to preserve those relationships after this mortal life. I also find joy when I help other people, recently GED tutoring, bringing meals to those in need, and helping elderly neighbors with yard work.

[semicolonandson]

It might be worthwhile to figure out what brings you joy by randomly asking yourself how you are feeling from 1 to 10 throughout the day. You might be surprised, in that your joy rating in the moment may deviate heavily from what you predict. With this data you can start prioritizing activities and trying to change your situation.

[OnACoffeeBreak]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm middle aged and have always struggled with meaninglessness of life. I know it's up to me to create meaning and purpose, and I've struggled with doing so over the decades.

[kirubakaran]

The urge to compulsively check Hacker News.

[pmiller2]

Try noprocrast.

[domano]

To further my career at the company i have been at for a long time i have taken over more diverse responsibilities (Lead, Architect, PO, Consultant, Coach), which in turn reduces the time i use to code more and more.

Now there are some interesting opportunities that pay a lot more, but i have the feeling that there is a mismatch between my CV and my current engineering skill level due to all this other stuff.

Could be imposter syndrome tho.

[maerF0x0]

I know what would get me closer to my goals, but despite many efforts I frequently do not want to do them. Most often this looks like a few days of effort and then a collapse of exhaustion where I feel like I cannot work or do what I ought to...

[jolmg]

Maybe change your efforts so you can see results faster and iterate on them? Perfection is the enemy of good, good is the enemy of fine, etc.

Maybe I'm interpreting too much from your comment, but I would guess the exhaustion comes from not seeing results worth the provided efforts, or not being certain the efforts are effective/efficient enough.

[ck425]

Do you actually want the goals? I realized recently that many of my goals particularly my career goals weren't things I actually wanted, they were what I thought I should want, which is why I could never work hard at then for too long.

[segmondy]

Romans 7:15

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

[tboyd47]

The entire world losing their effing minds at once!

I'm halfway joking, but the USA has gone from "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave", "Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness," "From Sea to Shining Sea," to a boot stamping on a human face forever in less than one year. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel safe raising children here.

[rocketpastsix]

Keeping my weight under control.

I've gained 20 pounds over the last year. It doesn't help that I bought a stand mixer and love baking. Cycling alone doesn't seem to keep things under control. I either need to do bigger riders or supplement it.

The one good thing is my eating out has been drastically cut. But there is still work to be done there.

[Jtsummers]

If you're teleworking, it won't necessarily cause you to lose weight but it will change the weight you carry: I started doing hourly exercises. Just squats, pushups, rows (I have a TRX), and dips. All bodyweight, easy to do at home (harder in the office if you're in a shared space, but you could always take an hourly break to walk somewhere better than the desk and do this, only takes a couple minutes). Paired with running, I trimmed down a lot during the summer (then two injuries related to neither running nor this exercising stalled me).

I also enjoy baking and picked it up a few years ago. But I didn't gain any weight because I'd take almost everything to the office or parties. Neither of which are really options for me right now so I avoid it, or occasionally give something to the neighbors I do like.

[speedgoose]

I am not sure you will lose much weight by doing sport. Actually you build muscle when you exercise a lot, and it's heavy (and good to have).

You should do sport, but if you want to lose weight the simplest is to eat less. I know that can be difficult.

[thorin]

I've started drinking 3-4 pints of water in the morning. I don't feel hungry at all until lunchtime so my eating window is now probably 12-5pm which is pretty short. I might report back if I lose any weight! Bonus is that I'm not hydrated :-)

[Chyzwar]

Lack of time. Work, Family, Covid, paperwork and life in general leaves very little time to do interesting things.

[regularperson25]

I feel like I chose my career path too early, i think i wasnt mature enough, and is a career that wont make me much money, add to that that im poor and in a 3rd world country, and soon to be on my own, a perfect combination for disaster. I think my biggest problem would be getting by(money).

[snyena]

Having to go to work.

[consilience]

People. They are the most meaningful part of life and yet, almost always, the most frustrating.

[ativzzz]

"The more I love humanity in general the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together. I know from experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity." - from Brothers Karamazov

[alexmingoia]

That neither of the two countries my family is from will give one set of us permanent residency, splitting the family across countries.

And the lack of countries that allow permanent residency without tying it to large investment or domestic employment.

[interdrift]

I need more money from projects that I build fast. So I guess I need a project that has a high chance of success with a decent amount of cash that comes with it. Sucks to have a lot of skills and time but not a big/fast to produce project.

[goat21az]

i dont know who or whom would be wanting to be lurking in my devices. As far as i know no harm has been done, but odd situations and conversations seem to be occuring that have to do with my personal life. The individuals within the conversation and situations should not even have knowledge of. * not on drugs or a weirdo ..been going on for a few months now

[smarri]

I'm on the precipice of losing my job, and having never been unemployed, I'm very worried about it.

[oldsklgdfth]

I am overwhelmingly pessimistic to the point where it gets in the way of leading a stable life.

[idoh]

Converting knowledge into action. E.g. I know that eating sugar is bad, but I do it anyway.

[dp1128]

Not having a CTO or a team. Help!!

[ano88888]

finding a wife. It is very difficult to decide as it is one of the biggest decisions

[binarycodedhex]

I hope I can feel your pain. I just moved to Austin without GF(s)/FWBs, a friend network, or any social media other than anon posting here and there. I am noticing the females here are more receptive per attractiveness and cool factor compared to the relative to the west coast, but not as much as outlying college towns nearby, and that's okay. I'm looking for more than getting eye f'd "lucky" by a Texas Tech or State cheerleader, unless she's also a microbiology postdoc, reads Vonnegut or Nabokov, or welds reclaimed metal art installations. I can't, and never could, stand party people who do nothing by float down the river of time without delving into anything substantially.

Don't get married unless being together for a long time (10 years plus), require it for legal reasons, and not without a prenup.

Don't let anyone move anything in without a palnup. See also: Bill Maher.

Never see a girl without a condom, and always take it with you.

The tests are, much like a close friend:

1. Would you die for them?

2. Would you kill for them?

3. Do you trust them with your life?

4. Are you better together than apart? (Are they much more beneficial to you than a liability?)

5. After the 3 year mark, do you still miss them the most of anyone? Must get past New Relationship Energy (NRE) to see if there's more than infatuation holding things together.

6. Hopefully, they're within a standard deviation or two of intelligence and have some common interests, but these can be learned and explored together with open-mindedness and willingness to try the unfamiliar.

7. Develop your skills and lifestyle. People who do the bare minimum to satisfy the label of a database administrator and expect to land a supermodel astronaut are woefully unrealistic. For example, I've been restoring a mid 80's VW camper soup-to-nuts except for major bodywork and upholstery fabrication, getting into paramotoring, and looking at dance studios for ballroom dance with the goals of Viennese waltz, dusting-off Argentine tango, and salsa. And I cook like a m'f'cker, which is probably why I need to lose 40 lbs. / 22 kg. of nasty-ass cutaneous fat, cut calories/do IF/up protein, and hit the gym like corona is going to close it forever. :)

Unfortunately, like hiring or investing, there doesn't seem to be a scalable way of pairing people or due-diligencing them thoroughly enough to lead to trust and compatibility. It seems only with focused filtering and meeting say many hundreds people (as the calibration phase of the optimal search strategy algorithm) that there would be enough worthy opportunities to pursue.

->> Ask lots of questions and listen.

[giantg2]

Don't do it!

Just kidding, maybe that would make you happy. It didn't for me though.

[paulz_]

Figuring out how to get back to being a freeloader.

For maybe the last 15 years or so I've been blocking or avoiding ads. uBlock origin is probably the most valuable product I use as well as AdBlock Plus before that. I know I know! I'm morally bankrupt! Thats how people make money on their content. That's what makes the internet go round. But I can't help myself. I just can't stand advertisements. Where I can I pay to avoid ads like Netflix or Youtube Premium I do. But beyond that I've used ad blockers and various tricks over the last decade and a half to nearly completely avoid advertisements in my life. It has been delightful. I feel like I'm happier for it and have saved who knows how much time and attention by doing so. I've always said that for any given service if I couldn't figure out how to block the ads I would just stop using it and read more books or something instead. Short of that there is almost no ceiling for how much I am willing to pay to use an ad-free version of a service.

That strategy has been pretty effective and continues to be today. But whereas the deal used to be "we have content you want, but the trade is that you have to look at our advertisements" it seems like that deal has shifted a bit in the last couple years. Now it's more like "we have the content you want, but it's in a walled garden of really addicting algorithms." So even though I don't see ads on Reddit, Youtube, or whatever - thats no longer enough. I'm still finding my time and attention being taken up by this really addicting content that is optimized for engagement and leaves me no more informed and usually less happy.

The thing is the good content is still out there! In fact there is probably more of it than there ever was even though it doesn't feel that way now. For now I've stopped using reddit and feel much happier for it. I try all these little tricks with Youtube to use it in a way where I don't get sucked into that engagement trap but it's pretty tricky.

All the well known tricks like uninstalling the app and using it in the browser or turning off notifications feel like trying to smoke 3 cigarettes a day or eat just one potato chip. They work moderately well but I often find myself slipping. It's also a constant willpower battle that is it's own drain on time and attention.

I've considered giving up the lot of it like I used to threaten I would do if I couldn't block ads anymore. Just read more books and so on. But I don't want to! What I want is to have my cake and eat it to. I want to go back to being a freeloader where I get the interesting content that I love without paying for it with my time, attention, and well-being, in a labyrinth of engagement.

I want an algorithm blocker that works like an adblocker. Maybe using machine learning to identify content that fits the bill. It seems somewhat unrealistic honestly. I'm not exactly sure what you're training the algorithm on in order to get that. Also maybe ML isn't the path there. Maybe there is another clever way to do it. I'm not sure. But I do think about it from time to time.

Short of that I've also considered trying to shift the sources to sites that have interesting and novel content without being so addictive and negative. Random wikipedia articles or random github repositories, that sort of thing.

Thinking about the biggest problem I have this was the most concrete one I could come up with. It's hard to quantify just how much value I would get out of a solution if it was as big of a benefit for me as adblockers have been up to now.

[blodkorv]

dicipline, I am trying to loose weight and have good sleeping habits. But it all fails because of the amount of effort i need to put in to keep a routine.

[notrly1337]

I'm in prison. not even joking