[ssvt]

Good on you for posting here and please follow all the advice about seeking professional help. It may take time but it will help. You will get through to the other side.

In my case, due to a buyout, I lost me job over two years ago and felt myself in a similar place as you.

What made it hard for me is I was 63(!) years old at the time . (I know what it is like to feel "over the hill" in technology employment.

After picking up my pieces, I started freelancing and haven't looked back. I've had more fun, on my terms, than my previous three decades in stressful tech jobs. That's the easy part.

The hard part was accepting my humanity and asking for help. Ask everybody and don't be ashamed to do it. You'll find out who your friends really are and you'll get the support you need.

Good luck. You'll make it.