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Ask HN: I just became a father, what is the only book I should read?

11 points| maximemanseau | 5 years ago

14 comments

order

AnimalMuppet|5 years ago

You shouldn't read only one.

There are two kinds of books. One kind urges you to be more permissive; the other kind urges you to be more strict.

In Zion National Park, there's a trail called Angel's Landing. You wind up climbing this ridge, with a 1000-foot dropoff on one side, and a 500-foot dropoff on the other side. Parenting is like that. There's a cliff on the side of being too permissive. You read a book warning you about that. So you back well away from that cliff. But there's a cliff on the other side, too, and you become to strict by trying to not be too permissive.

Worse, if your natural bent (or upbringing, or whatever) is toward being too strict, then a book that warns about being too permissive resonates more with you than one that warns about being too strict, even though the second kind is the one that you really need to hear.

So, yeah. Beware becoming a parent of only one book.

obrit|5 years ago

Like others have said, no book will cover it all, which is why I am recommending a daily newsletter: https://dailydad.com/

Sometimes the advice is really good, other times it's repetitive, often I don't even read it. But I like getting a reminder each day that I should be present with my kids, work can wait, I should put down my phone and just be with my kids and let them have all of my attention.

giantg2|5 years ago

No book will cover everything. Use the internet and find some reputable sources (webMD, PubMed, your state's laws and programs, etc).

thecrumb|5 years ago

There is no operators manual. Just enjoy!

dpeck|5 years ago

Happiest Baby on the Block for guidance on learning how to sooth very helpful the first few months.

jenkstom|5 years ago

I survived triplets using this book.

m0llusk|5 years ago

Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and ... some other person. But please don't stop there with this "only book I should read" thing. Sometimes more is more, and that is most certainly the case with books.

andrei_says_|5 years ago

Not for everything but for attitude and understanding what’s going on, esp. your emotions.

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort, $14 on Amazon.

probinso|5 years ago

A brief history of time

probinso|5 years ago

manufacturing consent