Killer, thank you! Appreciate the feedback. Do you work in copywriting by chance? We're mostly eng so could always use help in this arena :)
To answer your question, yes we are stripe for student loans. Automating every aspect of student loan repayment for fintechs and workplace benefits providers.
The sentence that you said in reply to the other poster, "Automating every aspect of student loan repayment for fintechs and workplace benefits providers." explained to me what the product does more than 95% of the sites landing copy.
A sentence approximately like this, or a problem statement, followed by a sentence like this, should be at the very top of the landing page. The stuff about student loan superpowers, was confusing to me and some of the material sounded like it was possibly written by someone who wasn't a native speaker.
solumos|5 years ago
> Give your products student loan superpowers
Not clear who your audience is here. Mobile games? Disposable razors? CBD gummies? Savings accounts? Whose products is this for?
> Use our API to create life-changing student loan outcomes for your customers - freeing up cash they can save, invest and spend
Same here. Are you going to give my disposable razor customers life-changing outcomes?
I'd recommending killing all of your copy and replacing it with 10% of the word count, except targeted at the specific problem you're solving.
bomatson|5 years ago
To answer your question, yes we are stripe for student loans. Automating every aspect of student loan repayment for fintechs and workplace benefits providers.
threwawasy1228|5 years ago
A sentence approximately like this, or a problem statement, followed by a sentence like this, should be at the very top of the landing page. The stuff about student loan superpowers, was confusing to me and some of the material sounded like it was possibly written by someone who wasn't a native speaker.