[mwfunk]

If those are the only things that makes someone happy (it's not necessarily; all people are different, but let's say those are the basic needs at work here), and they aren't getting either of those things, then they can either give up become shut-ins and stay on that trajectory, or they can do everything they can to figure out how become the kind of person they want to be, or at least become a happier or wiser person. Those are the options, perpetually keep trying to become a better version of one's self more capable of happiness (and maybe failing, and probably having some miserable experiences on the way), or give up (and definitely fail, 100% of the time, right out of the gate). Or suicide I guess, but giving up is basically suicide with an exceptionally long and pointless epilogue.

Once somebody gives up, from that point on they are no longer victims but the cause of their own problems. It sucks and it's not fair, but adult life can really suck and is definitely not fair. We only get one shot at it so might as well go out trying to do best we can.

[kiba]

Saying someone is responsible for themselves really doesn't help them. It's like telling a depressed person that they should be happy.

They need help. Because in the end, we're all interdependent and dependent on each other.

I had to tell myself that I am the hero or villain of my own story after some help. Still, it's an absolutely painful journey sometime.

[paulryanrogers]

The article's description of cultural pressures on young men seems crushing. One must work obscene hours, never lose face, represent the family at all times, and support a family on one salary.

[throwawayboise]

Most men are happiest when they are working hard and supporting their family. I'm not sure why this is seen as crushing pressure.

[luckylion]

That sounds like "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps". Am I correct to assume that you've never really gone through something like that? Maybe a deep, multi-year depression that leaves you unable to do even the most mundane things? It does kind of sound like it, but like everyone in front of the TV during a game, you have the best advice for those who're in it.

[username90]

> Once somebody gives up, from that point on they are no longer victims but the cause of their own problems.

If one person gives up, it is his person. If millions of people give up, it is society's problem.