I tried everything except for medication. I was afraid i would no longer be 'myself' or that's what other people told me — or maybe that it would make the problem more real.
Anyway, I eventually took meds, and I have never felt more myself, or the person I want to be. I work, learn, socialize, live in a (relatively) clean apartment, which I leave to go outside.
It took me way too long accept that depression is not all my fault, that it's a disease, and that I needed to see a real doctor.
For those who suffer, or know those who suffer (that's probably everyone) I really recommend this lecture:
It's super interesting, it ties all the causes of depression together — childhood trauma, everyday experience, down to the neuron, and chemical reactions. It really helps externalize it.
Same here. Prozac and walking 30min a day building up to 50min a day changed my life. I eventually quit smoking a pack a day cigarette habit also. It took years for me to try SSRI though.
Not taking prozac was a combination of being stubborn but you also never really read anything good about SSRI. It doesn't fit the narrative that big pharma is evil.
I tried therapy but the therapist were honestly terrible. The only good one was the one that prescribed me Prozac but the actual discussions were basically nonsense.
SSRI get a bad name IMO because people want to take them and magically have all their problems solved that lead them to be depressed. IMO it has to be in combination with a real willingness to absolutely change your life and habits. Have to get in good physical condition. The idea you can sit around all day, getting more and more out of shape but somehow not be depressed is not really logical.
ADHD makes me feel like this. There's days where I wake up and I just can't cope with anything: everything feels like a chore to power through.
However, I don't like to medicate. I always feel like they tone down my personality and I'm just not energetic anymore. It's a real shame because the meds (atomoxetine, an SNRI) eliminate my anxiety.
I honestly try to power through the days. I find that having solid habits and a routine is a big help for days like this. It's a lot easier to get things done on a bad day when you don't have to think about things much: just wake up, do your bed, and start your morning routine.
Your post inspires me though, I might start taking the meds again. I dropped them for side effects and the aforementioned personality changes. I'm in a good place right now, but when the lows hit, it gets really annoying to constantly power through life on hard mode.
> It's super interesting, it ties all the causes of depression together — childhood trauma, everyday experience, down to the neuron, and chemical reactions. It really helps externalize it.
I’ll need to check this out. I really want to know more about what depression “is” before attempting to treat it. I’m skeptical about most suggested treatment options including medication, despite me being least skeptical about that. However, I was many years ago diagnosed and thrown on medication. Hard to not be cynical when you’re watching TV a decade later and see ads for a class action lawsuit regarding long term side effects of a medication you’re on because the company fraudulently claimed it was safe.
The issue with people I know who take them are more than not feeling oneself, it's potential side effects like sexual issues, weight gain, and for the creative types, feeling less creative (so perhaps more of the losing oneself fear).
I have caught myself riding the snooze - alarm clock pattern.
Its my favourite part of the day, the 'waking up in warm bed' time. When I am just barely conscious and its feels good to be in warm bed - it feel blissful. When I wake up in the morning I will hit 10min snooze, just enough to fall asleep and wake up. Just to get more of that feeling - because I know thats the only time I will get it. I am doing it for an hour on weekdays and often for hours on the weekends.
I just can't force myself out of bed, out of that state where it doesn't feel bad. I talked to people who are going through the same. Some skip work to stay in bed because they cant do it anymore. I did it few times too, and I am terrified I might slip into that state of apathy. That fear is the only thing that keeps me going, I can only hope this fear will stay.
I dont have any wisdom or advice for anyone going through this, I just wanted to vent my thoughts and say that you are not alone in this, stay strong.
You will probably receive advice like "move the alarm clock to the other side of the room!". This kind of advice is well-meaning, but entirely misses the point. To quote the article:
> "Escaping the depression requires doing things I'm too depressed to do."
Your comment really resonated with me. I love the feeling too and would set the alarm for even earlier just so I could snooze for longer. What I eventually realised though is that doing this really fucks with your last couple hours of sleep which would make me tired for the rest of the day.
What I do now if I crave that blissful "in bed" feeling is just go to bed ridiculously early, like 12 hours before actually having to get up. What I found is that laying in bed half awake 2 or 3 hours before I have to get up is ten times better than hitting the snooze button every 10 minutes.
Additionally I get out of bed actually feeling physically good now so I've got a lot more energy throughout the day. At first I would just sleep 10 to 12 hours, but after a while I'd start waking up naturally 7 to 8 hours after going to bed.
Depression is a sinister downward spiral that becomes self fulfilling and all consuming. As said in the piece...
> Escaping the depression requires doing things I’m too depressed to do.
So please, if you see yourself at the top of this abyss, reach out right away for help before that too seems like too much.
You are valuable
You are loved
You are worthy of care
Like eating an elephant, one tiny bite at a time, take a small step and celebrate it. That might be as small as sitting up or getting off the couch. Your brain doesn’t want to celebrate it, but you can.
I have been on the support end and also struggled a bit with mild depression for the better part of 20 years. There are people who understand... find them and hold them close.
Hopefully you have a healthy relationship with your parents or a very close friend / partner. Lean into that and let them love you. It may require they physically get you to a doctor and that is a good thing.
"To keep reading this story, get the free app or log in."
Stuff like this should be banned from HN.
Reading this as a person with disability leave a bad taste in my mouth. I wonder what people like this would do if faced with a real lifelong challenge?
>>Reading this as a person with disability leave a bad taste in my mouth. I wonder what people like this would do if faced with a real lifelong challenge?
I "understand" your point, but you know, as a person who is dealing with depression my whole life i can tell you that depression can be a hard, real, lifelong challange too.
Disability is one of the hardest things to deal with in my opinion, but i learned that it is better to not assume anything about other people struggles. Something that looks small for you may seem unbearable and hard for others and vice versa.
Is having an abusive family grown up a real lifelong challenge? Is having poor brain chemistry leading you to making decisions you don't "want" to make a real enough challenge? Is crippling anxiety that prevents you from doing anything and not having emotional support to fight it difficult enough?
Who are you to judge what a person's mind is feeling like? You have no way to know someone else's demons. So the bad taste in your mouth is no one else's doing.
I get frustrated at the "light touch" wrt the workarounds rule on HN - I really believe OPs should be more engaged and expected to post an alternative as the first comment. Sometimes a thread goes for hours without somebody providing the info for those of us who can't access it.
In this case though, this is just Medium; there are various workarounds as others have indicated, (e.g.) a simple one on Chrome is just to view it in a private tab.
--
wrt your comment on physical disability vs (the implied "trivial") things like mental illness I have seen very severe instances of both close up and don't think your comparison is realistic or helpful.
> I wonder what people like this would do if faced with a real lifelong challenge?
I’m bipolar. It’s rather severe and I’m non-functional without medication, hopelessly broke due to psychosis non-functional. If that isn’t a real lifelong challenge, well… life has a few different options to opt-out.
> Reading this as a person with disability leave a bad taste in my mouth. I wonder what people like this would do if faced with a real lifelong challenge?
There's always someone with a problem they feel is worse. How would you feel if someone invalidated your feelings in that same way?
As someone with an invisible illness (Chrohns) this hit way too close to home.
People assume if you look fine you are fine (which is a reasonable assumption at a first pass) but there are days/weeks I feel "normal" whatever that is and days where I'm watching the clock til it's "I can reasonably go to bed now" time.
I’m bipolar and I feel like this all the time. Coworkers asking how my vacation was just pisses me off. I can’t tell them why without risking all kinds of problems.
I haven’t had a vacation or break from anything since I started my job. All my PTO has been burned on medical problems. And now I’m looking at having to disclose I’m bipolar to get unpaid medical leave. Right after a three day weekend.
Just want to say I love the fact you're all having this open discussion without hiding behind a throwaway account. It makes me believe the subject is becoming less taboo. Let's keep that going:)
Antidepressants are just fine after you have tried everything to resolve the depression naturally. Diet, exercise, relationships, career, etc. Most often this will work.
Eventually you may need a heavier hammer. Antidepressants can do the job but they are not meant to be used for long term use. The reason is side effects, long term withdrawal/dependency, and the eventual “poop out”. One year should be the cut off.
Fluoxetine, for example, induces neurogenesis. This is the method of action that cures depression. Exercise can do the same thing, which is why you’ll see studies of “cardio is just as effective as antidepressants”. Psilocybin as well.
Chronic stress will reduce your neurogenesis. There are many, many ways in this modern world to experience it.
The stigma of antidepressants needs to end. They can be very useful tools under the right circumstances.
Another thing you have to watch out for is mental illness, such as bipolar, that is not treatable with antidepressants (they can induce mania) nor any holistic method. Mood stabilizers and possibly an “antipsychotic” will be required. I’m bipolar and Lamotrigine has improved my world that no lifestyle change ever could. It’s been nothing short of a miracle drug for me.
Thanks for sharing your struggles and laying out some of the ‘action’ pathways.
Also really appreciated your follow up with the caveat for antidepressant use with bipolar. Many people don’t know this and hiding it from your family can literally be life threatening.
Regarding psilocybin, I have seen lots of cautions regarding use by bipolar folks. Most of the studies specifically avoid including bipolar so far.
Clearly an n=1, but have you had success with it (if you feel comfortable sharing)?
Depression seems to have different underlying causes in different people. What works for someone might not work for someone else. And how long to stay on medication varies from person to person. Especially if they have recurring depression.
I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, but I realized over the years one of the biggest reasons for my own depression was boredom and a lack of change.
I found the 'cure' for me was to reduce the amount of possessions I own to the bare minimum, and to travel (or even move) to a new city/country. (Obviously not as feasible these days, which will hopefully soon change...)
I find going to a new place and being stimulated by new surroundings, culture, food, learning how to get around, etc. always energizes me and makes me excited.
Maybe it's just distracting myself so I don't focus on my own mortality, but isn't that what most of life is anyway?
I found a lot of items I possessed represented things "todo", and if I didn't actually use/do them, represented undone things. Having a reckoning - will I actually use, or get rid of this item, was the trick.
You can always re-buy utility items. The hard things are the sentimental stuff.
Incidentally, I have/had exactly the same issue will code/files on my computer - a lifetime of downloaded files, and bookmarks, for thing's I might never re-visit.
Here's a good metric for value: "If I had a baby right now, would I still give a shit about this?". It sorts the trivial from the truly valuable well enough, without having to question the meaning of life (the question "If I where dying would I give a shite" is too strong/abstract a proposition for the same purpose)
I feel a similar positivity/jolt of energy when undertaking a new, difficult task (like moving to a new city). I assume you
re young and don't have children. Have you thought about how to manage your "medical" treatment when/if you have people who rely on you?
I believe one of the best keywords for starting to address the modern epidemic of depression, inability to build relationships, excessive focus on materialist goals, and other problems is developmental trauma.
The cause for this trauma is unmet needs in the formative years of the nervous system until about 5 years. Key among them are needs for autonomy and connection. Those are in natural conflict, and have to be balanced. When those aren't met, survival strategies are developed that undermine us when we are grown up. As a result excessive focus on independence or, the other extreme, over-adaption to others make relationships hard to attain or maintain, and feelings of hopelessness ensue.
Good starting point for reading is the book: Heller, Laurence, Aline LaPierre: Healing Developmental Trauma. How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship, 2012
I wrote/drew some things about this a while ago. In my case, a big contributor to multi-decade mental health issues was an undiagnosed B-12 deficiency. SSRI's can be a godsend for many folks, but with their advent, the previous medical knowledge about other physical causes of depression went out the window. It's important for us to screen for and treat those, too.
Part of what's at work here is a cognitive distortion, something we tell ourselves - it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not every non-medical intervention requires a metric ton of willpower to implement. Being medicated in itself requires dragging your ass out of bed to see a professional, get a proper diagnosis and prescription, actions that in other contexts are rationalized as something "too depressed to do". People are more motivated to get medication because they see a clearer, faster path to results and the alternatives do not appear so decisive and clear.
Late to this, but to be sure: I have learned for myself that God is real, cares, life has a purpose and extends before & after this mortality, questions have answers, each person including you is of infinite worth, and you never truly have to be alone. If we learn and make good choices, things can and will be very good, better than now. Honesty and the Golden Rule are important, as is sincere prayer to God (who knows you and actually does care, and has a plan).
Your worth definitely does not depend on comparisons with what seems popular. There are permanent truths one can grasp and keep, for peace & stability amid the hard times that we all can have; even joy.
Sometimes I wonder if a lot of depression and anxiety in western society (I say western because I don’t know enough about others) is due to life just being too comfortable.
Almost all direct threats (animals, attacks, wars, etc) have been eliminated and if you don’t live in a high crime area, you probably don’t even have a good reason to lock your doors. If you don’t have anything to survive and you don’t really have anything to worry about, more trivial things take on more importance.
I was attacked/chased by a mentally ill person trying to run me down earlier this year. It was the first time in my life getting a full dose of ‘fight or flight’. In the moment it was obviously unpleasant, but I found it was powerful in contextualizing things and bringing perspective. Having my complete sense of safety removed reminded me of how lucky I am to have that 99.999% of the time. It also made me recognize my own capabilities; I was very impressed with my ability to evade danger and survive a dangerous encounter I was completely unprepared for. I’ve never done sport or anything like that so I kind of thought I would be useless if ever attacked, but it turns out I can run and use obstacles in my environment pretty well.
Life is still a struggle between chaos/danger and structure/safety, but the modern world is so well-run that most people don’t really experience that; any one person can drop the ball/give up and it doesn’t matter, which I suspect makes it harder for people to find meaning.
Fortunately, we have many tools at our disposal to get a simulation of fight-or-flight in our daily lives without actually enduring physical assault. I really like horror films and some Googling suggests others find it helpful as well. I also find music is a good tool for regulating emotional state.
I encourage you to read more about depression and how to support depressed people. It'll give you a better insight into how depression operates than a single event you experienced.
> It also made me recognize my own capabilities; I was very impressed with my ability to evade danger and survive a dangerous encounter I was completely unprepared for. I’ve never done sport or anything like that so I kind of thought I would be useless if ever attacked, but it turns out I can run and use obstacles in my environment pretty well.
Unfortunately these kind of events don't compare well with bouts of depression. They really are not the same thing.
Sometimes depression and/or anxiety is like having a hundred of events like that a day and not time to get back up.
With that being said.
> Sometimes I wonder if a lot of depression and anxiety in western society (I say western because I don’t know enough about others) is due to life just being too comfortable.
This a confusion between immediate physical dangers (disease, aggression, security in your home) and the stress of our current way of life (competition for work and at work essentially, culture with a heavy accent on individuality, etc.).
Another approach could be: why is there so much depression and anxiety in spite of the comfort level of western society. (maybe western society isn't that comfortable ? or we should work on the definition of comfortable ?).
[+] [-] shadowfaxRodeo|4 years ago|reply
Anyway, I eventually took meds, and I have never felt more myself, or the person I want to be. I work, learn, socialize, live in a (relatively) clean apartment, which I leave to go outside.
It took me way too long accept that depression is not all my fault, that it's a disease, and that I needed to see a real doctor.
For those who suffer, or know those who suffer (that's probably everyone) I really recommend this lecture:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
It's super interesting, it ties all the causes of depression together — childhood trauma, everyday experience, down to the neuron, and chemical reactions. It really helps externalize it.
[+] [-] machinehermiter|4 years ago|reply
Not taking prozac was a combination of being stubborn but you also never really read anything good about SSRI. It doesn't fit the narrative that big pharma is evil.
I tried therapy but the therapist were honestly terrible. The only good one was the one that prescribed me Prozac but the actual discussions were basically nonsense.
SSRI get a bad name IMO because people want to take them and magically have all their problems solved that lead them to be depressed. IMO it has to be in combination with a real willingness to absolutely change your life and habits. Have to get in good physical condition. The idea you can sit around all day, getting more and more out of shape but somehow not be depressed is not really logical.
[+] [-] sergiomattei|4 years ago|reply
However, I don't like to medicate. I always feel like they tone down my personality and I'm just not energetic anymore. It's a real shame because the meds (atomoxetine, an SNRI) eliminate my anxiety.
I honestly try to power through the days. I find that having solid habits and a routine is a big help for days like this. It's a lot easier to get things done on a bad day when you don't have to think about things much: just wake up, do your bed, and start your morning routine.
Your post inspires me though, I might start taking the meds again. I dropped them for side effects and the aforementioned personality changes. I'm in a good place right now, but when the lows hit, it gets really annoying to constantly power through life on hard mode.
[+] [-] the_only_law|4 years ago|reply
I’ll need to check this out. I really want to know more about what depression “is” before attempting to treat it. I’m skeptical about most suggested treatment options including medication, despite me being least skeptical about that. However, I was many years ago diagnosed and thrown on medication. Hard to not be cynical when you’re watching TV a decade later and see ads for a class action lawsuit regarding long term side effects of a medication you’re on because the company fraudulently claimed it was safe.
[+] [-] noname120|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mahathu|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mancerayder|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sirspacey|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] me_me_me|4 years ago|reply
Its my favourite part of the day, the 'waking up in warm bed' time. When I am just barely conscious and its feels good to be in warm bed - it feel blissful. When I wake up in the morning I will hit 10min snooze, just enough to fall asleep and wake up. Just to get more of that feeling - because I know thats the only time I will get it. I am doing it for an hour on weekdays and often for hours on the weekends.
I just can't force myself out of bed, out of that state where it doesn't feel bad. I talked to people who are going through the same. Some skip work to stay in bed because they cant do it anymore. I did it few times too, and I am terrified I might slip into that state of apathy. That fear is the only thing that keeps me going, I can only hope this fear will stay.
I dont have any wisdom or advice for anyone going through this, I just wanted to vent my thoughts and say that you are not alone in this, stay strong.
[+] [-] jw1224|4 years ago|reply
> "Escaping the depression requires doing things I'm too depressed to do."
Good luck.
[+] [-] dnh44|4 years ago|reply
What I do now if I crave that blissful "in bed" feeling is just go to bed ridiculously early, like 12 hours before actually having to get up. What I found is that laying in bed half awake 2 or 3 hours before I have to get up is ten times better than hitting the snooze button every 10 minutes.
Additionally I get out of bed actually feeling physically good now so I've got a lot more energy throughout the day. At first I would just sleep 10 to 12 hours, but after a while I'd start waking up naturally 7 to 8 hours after going to bed.
[+] [-] Chris2048|4 years ago|reply
There are certain standard alarm sounds that mildly annoy/trigger me whenever they play, just as they remind me of that..
[+] [-] MobileVet|4 years ago|reply
> Escaping the depression requires doing things I’m too depressed to do.
So please, if you see yourself at the top of this abyss, reach out right away for help before that too seems like too much.
You are valuable
You are loved
You are worthy of care
Like eating an elephant, one tiny bite at a time, take a small step and celebrate it. That might be as small as sitting up or getting off the couch. Your brain doesn’t want to celebrate it, but you can.
I have been on the support end and also struggled a bit with mild depression for the better part of 20 years. There are people who understand... find them and hold them close.
Hopefully you have a healthy relationship with your parents or a very close friend / partner. Lean into that and let them love you. It may require they physically get you to a doctor and that is a good thing.
One more small step to celebrate.
[+] [-] mlang23|4 years ago|reply
Stuff like this should be banned from HN.
Reading this as a person with disability leave a bad taste in my mouth. I wonder what people like this would do if faced with a real lifelong challenge?
[+] [-] c0ldf1ng3r|4 years ago|reply
I "understand" your point, but you know, as a person who is dealing with depression my whole life i can tell you that depression can be a hard, real, lifelong challange too.
Disability is one of the hardest things to deal with in my opinion, but i learned that it is better to not assume anything about other people struggles. Something that looks small for you may seem unbearable and hard for others and vice versa.
[+] [-] sachdevap|4 years ago|reply
Who are you to judge what a person's mind is feeling like? You have no way to know someone else's demons. So the bad taste in your mouth is no one else's doing.
[+] [-] brainlessdev|4 years ago|reply
[0] https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/nay/
[+] [-] mellosouls|4 years ago|reply
In this case though, this is just Medium; there are various workarounds as others have indicated, (e.g.) a simple one on Chrome is just to view it in a private tab.
--
wrt your comment on physical disability vs (the implied "trivial") things like mental illness I have seen very severe instances of both close up and don't think your comparison is realistic or helpful.
[+] [-] kayodelycaon|4 years ago|reply
I’m bipolar. It’s rather severe and I’m non-functional without medication, hopelessly broke due to psychosis non-functional. If that isn’t a real lifelong challenge, well… life has a few different options to opt-out.
[+] [-] thrthrthrow|4 years ago|reply
Agreed. Any sites with this kind of silly dark patterns need to be omitted or should be posted with a warning.
Anyways. Here is an archive link so you can finish reading this article.
https://archive.is/Bmlg6
[+] [-] SketchySeaBeast|4 years ago|reply
There's always someone with a problem they feel is worse. How would you feel if someone invalidated your feelings in that same way?
[+] [-] throwaway_egbs|4 years ago|reply
Rethink this.
[+] [-] Cthulhu_|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] noir_lord|4 years ago|reply
People assume if you look fine you are fine (which is a reasonable assumption at a first pass) but there are days/weeks I feel "normal" whatever that is and days where I'm watching the clock til it's "I can reasonably go to bed now" time.
[+] [-] kayodelycaon|4 years ago|reply
I haven’t had a vacation or break from anything since I started my job. All my PTO has been burned on medical problems. And now I’m looking at having to disclose I’m bipolar to get unpaid medical leave. Right after a three day weekend.
At least my manager has my back here.
[+] [-] Anther|4 years ago|reply
Such things can get rather tiresome.
[+] [-] sizzle|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] exdsq|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] justinko|4 years ago|reply
Eventually you may need a heavier hammer. Antidepressants can do the job but they are not meant to be used for long term use. The reason is side effects, long term withdrawal/dependency, and the eventual “poop out”. One year should be the cut off.
Fluoxetine, for example, induces neurogenesis. This is the method of action that cures depression. Exercise can do the same thing, which is why you’ll see studies of “cardio is just as effective as antidepressants”. Psilocybin as well.
Chronic stress will reduce your neurogenesis. There are many, many ways in this modern world to experience it.
The stigma of antidepressants needs to end. They can be very useful tools under the right circumstances.
Another thing you have to watch out for is mental illness, such as bipolar, that is not treatable with antidepressants (they can induce mania) nor any holistic method. Mood stabilizers and possibly an “antipsychotic” will be required. I’m bipolar and Lamotrigine has improved my world that no lifestyle change ever could. It’s been nothing short of a miracle drug for me.
[+] [-] MobileVet|4 years ago|reply
Also really appreciated your follow up with the caveat for antidepressant use with bipolar. Many people don’t know this and hiding it from your family can literally be life threatening.
Regarding psilocybin, I have seen lots of cautions regarding use by bipolar folks. Most of the studies specifically avoid including bipolar so far.
Clearly an n=1, but have you had success with it (if you feel comfortable sharing)?
[+] [-] pseudalopex|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] system16|4 years ago|reply
I found the 'cure' for me was to reduce the amount of possessions I own to the bare minimum, and to travel (or even move) to a new city/country. (Obviously not as feasible these days, which will hopefully soon change...)
I find going to a new place and being stimulated by new surroundings, culture, food, learning how to get around, etc. always energizes me and makes me excited.
Maybe it's just distracting myself so I don't focus on my own mortality, but isn't that what most of life is anyway?
[+] [-] Chris2048|4 years ago|reply
You can always re-buy utility items. The hard things are the sentimental stuff.
Incidentally, I have/had exactly the same issue will code/files on my computer - a lifetime of downloaded files, and bookmarks, for thing's I might never re-visit.
Here's a good metric for value: "If I had a baby right now, would I still give a shit about this?". It sorts the trivial from the truly valuable well enough, without having to question the meaning of life (the question "If I where dying would I give a shite" is too strong/abstract a proposition for the same purpose)
[+] [-] DrAwdeOccarim|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] the_only_law|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] febeling|4 years ago|reply
The cause for this trauma is unmet needs in the formative years of the nervous system until about 5 years. Key among them are needs for autonomy and connection. Those are in natural conflict, and have to be balanced. When those aren't met, survival strategies are developed that undermine us when we are grown up. As a result excessive focus on independence or, the other extreme, over-adaption to others make relationships hard to attain or maintain, and feelings of hopelessness ensue.
Good starting point for reading is the book: Heller, Laurence, Aline LaPierre: Healing Developmental Trauma. How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship, 2012
[+] [-] Arete314159|4 years ago|reply
Here are some of my pieces on this theme:
https://radiosof.com/2015/01/20/depression-comix/
https://radiosof.com/category/mental-health/
[+] [-] kayodelycaon|4 years ago|reply
For example, thyroid issues can cause the same symptoms as bipolar. I was screened for that at the start of my treatment.
[+] [-] sizzle|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] nl|4 years ago|reply
This is the hidden danger that people who haven't experienced depression don't seem to understand.
[+] [-] slothtrop|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lcall|4 years ago|reply
Your worth definitely does not depend on comparisons with what seems popular. There are permanent truths one can grasp and keep, for peace & stability amid the hard times that we all can have; even joy.
Some other ideas (not all are about dating) at: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27637759 and my profile fwiw.
All real best wishes.
[+] [-] sprusemoose|4 years ago|reply
Keep the shields up from my anima.
[+] [-] nxc18|4 years ago|reply
Almost all direct threats (animals, attacks, wars, etc) have been eliminated and if you don’t live in a high crime area, you probably don’t even have a good reason to lock your doors. If you don’t have anything to survive and you don’t really have anything to worry about, more trivial things take on more importance.
I was attacked/chased by a mentally ill person trying to run me down earlier this year. It was the first time in my life getting a full dose of ‘fight or flight’. In the moment it was obviously unpleasant, but I found it was powerful in contextualizing things and bringing perspective. Having my complete sense of safety removed reminded me of how lucky I am to have that 99.999% of the time. It also made me recognize my own capabilities; I was very impressed with my ability to evade danger and survive a dangerous encounter I was completely unprepared for. I’ve never done sport or anything like that so I kind of thought I would be useless if ever attacked, but it turns out I can run and use obstacles in my environment pretty well.
Life is still a struggle between chaos/danger and structure/safety, but the modern world is so well-run that most people don’t really experience that; any one person can drop the ball/give up and it doesn’t matter, which I suspect makes it harder for people to find meaning.
Fortunately, we have many tools at our disposal to get a simulation of fight-or-flight in our daily lives without actually enduring physical assault. I really like horror films and some Googling suggests others find it helpful as well. I also find music is a good tool for regulating emotional state.
[+] [-] johnchristopher|4 years ago|reply
> It also made me recognize my own capabilities; I was very impressed with my ability to evade danger and survive a dangerous encounter I was completely unprepared for. I’ve never done sport or anything like that so I kind of thought I would be useless if ever attacked, but it turns out I can run and use obstacles in my environment pretty well.
Unfortunately these kind of events don't compare well with bouts of depression. They really are not the same thing.
Sometimes depression and/or anxiety is like having a hundred of events like that a day and not time to get back up.
With that being said.
> Sometimes I wonder if a lot of depression and anxiety in western society (I say western because I don’t know enough about others) is due to life just being too comfortable.
This a confusion between immediate physical dangers (disease, aggression, security in your home) and the stress of our current way of life (competition for work and at work essentially, culture with a heavy accent on individuality, etc.).
Another approach could be: why is there so much depression and anxiety in spite of the comfort level of western society. (maybe western society isn't that comfortable ? or we should work on the definition of comfortable ?).