Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car.
I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family.
If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).
I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case.
I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I get other remarks that compare their hard job to my 'easy' job that has catering and long lunch breaks. No one asks how my mental state is. No one asks whether I take my work home with me at the end of the day. No one asks how many hours I put in. All they see is a family member that will drop a ton of cash on a nice vacation or a larger house.
Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either.
Reminds me of the Filipino maid friends living in the middle east had working for them. The pay included airfare for going home for a few weeks once a year, but somehow she always declined and rather wanted to go on holiday with her employers (and the kids, so not really a holiday for her).
After 3 years they finally found out she actually really wanted to go home and see friends and family again. However she was so scared her family would guilt her into giving them all the money she had earned abroad, and making her dreams of what she would do with it impossible, she could never bring herself to book the ticket.
It probably depends where you are in life, how much money, your relationship to family, how comfortable they are, etc. Certainly seemed like the right call in this case.
On the other hand, if your family is comfortable, this happens to you when you're 35 and want to retire and travel the world at least for a while, it's probably hard to deny that you had some sort of real financial windfall.
When I was right out of college, I got a contract.
The contract was for 1/3 of the wages a person with that job would get, and zero benefits!
Thing is... for many people in my family it was still the most money they had ever seen, after I told my parents what my wages were, soon the entire family knew, and people started to treat me in weird ways, like making a tons of "jokes" asking money.
What if they are struggling with money issues and you want to help them? Or what if they are struggling with money issues in silence and you don't know about it?
Also... what if they find out about it later and you never told them? Wouldn't they think that you are a selfish doosh?
I’ve wondered about this: when someone comes into a windfall and their loved ones see them differently, are they really different or is the person seeing them exactly as they are?
What is the point of writing a letter like this to a money advice column? His only question is, "Was I wrong in not telling anyone about my winnings?" Surely by 67 you should understand that wrong is the eye of the beholder. Only you can answer whether you did right or wrong, although I will say that sending a letter to an advice column is a signal that you are not completely satisfied with your decision. Honestly this comes off like a brag -- simply because he is not conveying any information other than his wealth and dislike for his family.
There are a bunch of different ways to approach having a lot of money. I have been lucky enough to be extremely well compensated these last few years. To the point where we are getting on toward having so much money that it doesn't seem possible to use it all, although we are nowhere in the range of this lottery winner. My family knows I'm doing well, but perhaps not exactly how well, which is a fine state of affairs as long as everyone understands that there are boundaries. I think you can use money like that to make life better for your loved ones without going all the way toward making them dependents, and personally it has felt right to do that for me. But everyone has their own views on what is best.
What is the point of writing a letter like this to
a money advice column?
You're right: there's no point in writing a letter like this.
But also: did somebody actually write this letter?
This is pure speculation but I'm about 99.99% certain that 99.99% of letters to advice columns are wholly fabricated by those who write the columns... right?
> Surely by 67 you should understand that wrong is the eye of the beholder.
Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Sometimes you just need to hear it from another person (and, quite often, you should - it's easy to get stuck in a wrong view). There's nothing wrong with asking.
I'm not sure about bragging, but it struck me that given that winners identity (at least names) are publicly available, the rough amount, and the rough time, he is pretty much outing himself. Maybe that has something to do with it.
It's such a low bar to pass. The guy in the article is 67, makes 1MM+ in interest a year, and won't even consider telling his friends or family? Or donating a penny of it? Is there not room for a middle ground here?
What about: "Hey, I made a million bucks in the lottery/stocks/crypto. I heard you're having a tough time, take this -- you don't owe me anything. Wishing you well, -Dave."
That thread is really dumb. You can't just throw stuff out there like "You're 20x more likely to die of homicide!" and expect to be taken seriously.
1. The demographic that is likely to win lotteries might already be more likely to die of homicide (or become bankrupt, etc) than the general population.
2. Throwing large multiples out sounds flashy, but it doesn't mean much if the probability was already extremely low.
You're not fucked if you win the lottery... The amount you can afford with 100 million is incredible. Buy a huge lot and hire security. Hire great attorneys and financial firms to handle details. Don't spend more than you expect to make in interest yearly.
Boom, saved you from having to read a wall of Reddit lottery porn.
There wasa reddit thread previously where a guy had 1,500 BTC in a wallet he couldnt recall the password for... I wrote to him calculating the value of the wallet at the time at $13 million.. I encouraged him to pay someone to help him crack the wallet and he agreed to give me 1% to assist him, which I did...
I made ~50 million in crypto. By far the most satisfying part was buying a house each for my friends and family. Having a paid off house is really a massive stress reducer for most people which imho gives you the 90% of the financial freedom of being super wealthy.
That's the dream right there. I've got 20 years to go on my note for my house and I just think wow, once this thing is paid off I've got it made in the shade. Good on you for helping them, much better investment than just buying them cars or gifts.
I agree with you, although I think it would be really easy to go overboard here. Did you have people come to you asking for houses? Maybe I'm being cynical, but I think that news would spread really quickly if someone in my friend group was buying houses for several people.
I'm curious about how this works in practice. Did you just pick and buy houses for all of them? Or did they pick and you paid? If the latter, did you set some kind of price range?
Also, do you worry about any future expectations they might have?
> By far the most satisfying part was buying a house each for my friends and family.
How did you decide who made the cut-off of being a "friend"? Seems like every acquaintance you ever had would suddenly become a fake friend if you were giving away free houses, no? Genuinely curious what that was like.
At my current ~2% mortgage interest rate, why do I want to pay off my house? I make more putting that money into investments returning me much better than that. I don't think the super wealthy keep their money needlessly tied up in real estate like that.
Wonder if people like you think about funding startups that are not attractive to traditional investors. I'm talking about funding outsiders with something that doesn't sound very exciting, but might work out
This is the right thing to do if you want to keep it and stay sane. If I won I'd delete all social networking, change my phone number, set up an LLC and make purchases through that.
The quote of "I know that my parents would not have asked for a thing, but my sister would have told me to donate half to her church" makes my stomach turn.
This would never fly in Canada, where lottery winners must present themselves in person for wins, with publicity and all. Full names are given to the press, complete with home town and smiling face. Some winners have tried to skirt or directly challenge those regulations, to no avail. A winner cannot disappear behind an LLC or other apparatus. Frankly I'd be greatly worried about collecting a huge win from a Canadian lottery unless I departed the ceremony directly to a private plane for any of the well known tax havens in the Caribbean.
Probably a fake. I visit MarketWatch a couple of times a week and they always feature on the front page a letter of someone in a unusual financial situation who has taken, or is planning, questionable decisions about their money. The ghost writer behind this is quite good, I have to admit.
I made a good deal from long-term crypto holdings and never told anyone, and it was much easier that way. I would still help family; they just didn't know how easy it was for me to help them, and so didn't ask for more.
Startup exit happened and a wrench got thrown in it all, though. Many acquaintances from years ago would text me about having had a class with me and having seen the news. I told myself I'd reply after a few weeks but in the end never did.
The paranoia since has made me a substantially worse person, and taken away how easily I trust.
When it comes to dating, I alternate between "money is now the most stable part of my life, so who cares if people partially like me over it? I earned it after all!" and "it's not as meaningful, I want someone who likes me solely for my other traits, but I can't trust whether that's the case."
Do everything you can to keep your success private.
Similar in some ways to winning the lottery, but there was no way to avoid some friends and family finding out. E.g. a friend and my dad helped edit my award claim submission.
I moved to a new city, kept it private, eventually told a couple new friends. Some people treat you the same, some people treat you differently (in a bad way, like another commenter mentioned). So it's useful as a filtering mechanism.
In contrast with the prototypical lottery winner who burns through all their money and ends up basically where they started, this guy didn't spend any significant amount of his money and ended up basically where he started.
Most people who suddenly make a lot of money blow through it in only seven years. (From "The Challenges of Wealth", 1988). This guy is doing the right thing.
Many of those people making at high salaries at FAANG companies need to be saving more of it, because they'll be over the hill in their 40s, with 40 years left to go.
There's a balancing act of saving vs spending. A lot of people pinch pennies and save for retirement, working 60-80 hr weeks, skipping vacations and family parties, buying the cheapest car, etc. When they get to be 65 their health prevents them from actually enjoying that money. Maybe they get to that age and they die and never get to spend any of it.
I do hope this guy is at least going on some trips and utilizing his gift while he can. Seems pretty pointless to hoard $50M to do nothing with it (yes, he collects the interest, but my point still stands.)
Just the network effect of, say, two degrees of Kevin Bacon here is interesting. When it gets to three, rather than directly be approached "hey old buddy old pal" what you would have to do is wonder what percentage of those folks are grifters, con artists, and your basic criminals.
I have a Cousin Tammy I've never met, who out of nowhere calls and tries to hit us up for money every so often. Two degrees. If Cousin Tammy knows some desperate people ...
You have to really weigh how much you trust each person you tell not to tell, and you have to also evaluate all of the people they might tell -- which is not an easy task. For example, I am estranged from my father who, if I went into why, most people here would easily agree, if not suggest pressing charges. Despite repeatedly asking my mother not to tell my father anything about me -- where I work, what I do, and so forth -- she does it.
Ergo, if I really want to keep something from my father, I cannot tell my mother.
Now, imagine doing this for everyone you know, plus a lot of money, which at fifty-five million dollars, which, in the words of The Way of the Gun "is not money. It's a motive with a universal adapter on it."
In Finland tax records are public and papers make articles and search engines so anyone can look up how rich any person is (as long as they make more than 150k or so)
People complain and there has been talk and steps forward about changing the system but in the end I don’t think that much harm comes from it.
Ironically lottery winnings are tax free so they are the only people with stealth wealth.
In HS I was a grocery bagger and I made $5.34/hr 1992-93
I then worked as head cad drafter (autocad) for multiple architects... When I announced I was quitting my firm to move to seattle, I told them I was moving and needed a raise so I could save up to move in 3 months, they laughed at my gall and granted me the raise from $8.50/hr to $9.25 -- 1994
I moved to Seattle then made $9.50 as head draftsman designing Fred Huchinson Cancer Research Center and a bunch of fast food restaurants and gas stations and cell sites... (Rent was $400/month for a 1 bedroom)
Moved back to the Bay in '97 and got a job as IT manager for a company making $42K/yr (Rent was $1,200 for 3-br
then $65k
then $70K
then $104K (mortgage $2400)
120, 150, 170, 250K
Now I am looking for work and make nothing...
I am happier making nothing than anytime I was on the clock 24/7/365 worrying about production uptime that made nothing better in this world....
One thing I learned from reading The WEIRDest People in the World by Joseph Heinrich is that saving (delayed gratification) can be detrimental to a lot of people in various societies around the world.
Part of it is that if you have money, then it will make you a target for thieves or corruption. But also, family members will ask you to borrow money if they know you have some. And if no one has any saved money, whenever they have an emergency, they’ll go beg the lone person who might have some. So, you’re better off just spending any money you get right away so that you don’t have to give it over to a family member.
Clearly, that equilibrium is hard to break out of, and pretty much requires kin based institutions to be broken down first (which is the thesis of the book for how the rich world got rich).
The friend/family perception is real and one thing, but really i think this silence creates yet more separation creating ever more loneliness.
Ultimately, my fear for lottery winners is akin to discovering cheat codes in early video games. Turning on "Infinite Money" in $GAME was great... until it quickly sucked all of the joy out of the game. The limited resource challenge disappeared. I don't know anyone who has won the lottery, but i'd be worried you risk creating that very same sentiment, except about life itself. Scary, should you not have another well-established and faithfully-held purpose.
> I also do not believe in loaning money to friends and relatives, no matter what.
This guy sounds like a special kind of asshole. Who wins $55 million dollars and thinks about “loaning” money to their parents? Lol. I get why you wouldn’t want to tell anyone you won the lotto, but you can tell a little white lie and claim to be doing well career wise so you have an excuse to give your parents some money.
This guy wants to justify being a greedy jerk IMO.
Nowhere near this money, but I did notice during this pandemic a situation where:
- Wife and I were in a tricky situation (stuck in a different country, living with parents since we couldn't go back home).
- It was stressful to be away from our home and not knowing when/if you'll be back.
- Nobody in the family offered any empathy to this situation since "what do you care? You have money."
We're nowhere near even the bottom mid of the most affected people by the pandemic, so don't take this as whining. I think others (especially those who don't have enough money not to worry) tend to believe that money would solve all their problems. Hence, they think you don't deserve empathy.
> ‘I have not donated money to anyone or any organization. I also do not believe in loaning money to friends and relatives, no matter what’
Smart man. He did the right thing and I would gladly do the same in exchange for that kind of money any day of the week. Ironically, the idealists who don't understand the risks of letting people know how much money you have are also the ones who will suffer the most when they hear people's sob stories about why they need $X or why things are so hard from them; so they have even more reason not to publicize their wealth.
I've met Paul Allen, and I've always felt kind of sorry for him. I suspect he never had any real friends after he got rich. He did have a lot of "friends" who liked to party on his yacht.
This week I have had two of my few friendships hit the rocks who have approached me for money.
One is pushing me to invest in his business, and one approached me for a reasonably large loan.
I've explained to both that I don't feel able to, but I can tell that both feel I am being unreasonable because it's only $XXk which they know isn't that significant to me.
I wish they hadn't have asked as it feels fatal for the friendships.
I already feel a bit of an outsider for sometimes having money.
Maybe all of these problems are in my own head.....
Either way, the lottery winner had the right idea.
[+] [-] thepasswordis|4 years ago|reply
I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family.
If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).
[+] [-] TheMerovingian|4 years ago|reply
I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I get other remarks that compare their hard job to my 'easy' job that has catering and long lunch breaks. No one asks how my mental state is. No one asks whether I take my work home with me at the end of the day. No one asks how many hours I put in. All they see is a family member that will drop a ton of cash on a nice vacation or a larger house.
Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either.
[+] [-] shellfishgene|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ghaff|4 years ago|reply
On the other hand, if your family is comfortable, this happens to you when you're 35 and want to retire and travel the world at least for a while, it's probably hard to deny that you had some sort of real financial windfall.
[+] [-] speeder|4 years ago|reply
The contract was for 1/3 of the wages a person with that job would get, and zero benefits!
Thing is... for many people in my family it was still the most money they had ever seen, after I told my parents what my wages were, soon the entire family knew, and people started to treat me in weird ways, like making a tons of "jokes" asking money.
[+] [-] bostonsre|4 years ago|reply
Also... what if they find out about it later and you never told them? Wouldn't they think that you are a selfish doosh?
[+] [-] jkereako|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] hncurious|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] whycombagator|4 years ago|reply
And what car did you buy?
I suppose having everyone treat you differently is a downside, but surely having the money is better than not?
[+] [-] asdfasgasdgasdg|4 years ago|reply
There are a bunch of different ways to approach having a lot of money. I have been lucky enough to be extremely well compensated these last few years. To the point where we are getting on toward having so much money that it doesn't seem possible to use it all, although we are nowhere in the range of this lottery winner. My family knows I'm doing well, but perhaps not exactly how well, which is a fine state of affairs as long as everyone understands that there are boundaries. I think you can use money like that to make life better for your loved ones without going all the way toward making them dependents, and personally it has felt right to do that for me. But everyone has their own views on what is best.
[+] [-] JohnBooty|4 years ago|reply
But also: did somebody actually write this letter?
This is pure speculation but I'm about 99.99% certain that 99.99% of letters to advice columns are wholly fabricated by those who write the columns... right?
[+] [-] Sebb767|4 years ago|reply
Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Sometimes you just need to hear it from another person (and, quite often, you should - it's easy to get stuck in a wrong view). There's nothing wrong with asking.
[+] [-] bagacrap|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mbostleman|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] philwelch|4 years ago|reply
> Congratulations! You just won millions of dollars in the lottery! That's great.
> Now you're fucked.
> No really.
> You are.
> You're fucked.
This guy did exactly the right thing.
[+] [-] alecst|4 years ago|reply
What about: "Hey, I made a million bucks in the lottery/stocks/crypto. I heard you're having a tough time, take this -- you don't owe me anything. Wishing you well, -Dave."
[+] [-] yupper32|4 years ago|reply
1. The demographic that is likely to win lotteries might already be more likely to die of homicide (or become bankrupt, etc) than the general population.
2. Throwing large multiples out sounds flashy, but it doesn't mean much if the probability was already extremely low.
You're not fucked if you win the lottery... The amount you can afford with 100 million is incredible. Buy a huge lot and hire security. Hire great attorneys and financial firms to handle details. Don't spend more than you expect to make in interest yearly.
Boom, saved you from having to read a wall of Reddit lottery porn.
[+] [-] samstave|4 years ago|reply
Then when he got the BTC, he ghosted.
If he succeeded, that BTC is $72 million today...
[+] [-] 42069|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] post_break|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Reubend|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] hncurious|4 years ago|reply
Also, do you worry about any future expectations they might have?
[+] [-] hanniabu|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lucasmullens|4 years ago|reply
How did you decide who made the cut-off of being a "friend"? Seems like every acquaintance you ever had would suddenly become a fake friend if you were giving away free houses, no? Genuinely curious what that was like.
[+] [-] technothrasher|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] huntermeyer|4 years ago|reply
Did each friend have to pay income tax on the money/property you gave them?
How was the house actually paid for, did you give the friends cash or did you buy the house for them and somehow gift it to them?
[+] [-] ibaikov|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] vymague|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] post_break|4 years ago|reply
The quote of "I know that my parents would not have asked for a thing, but my sister would have told me to donate half to her church" makes my stomach turn.
[+] [-] cf100clunk|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] alberto-m|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] paradigm_|4 years ago|reply
Startup exit happened and a wrench got thrown in it all, though. Many acquaintances from years ago would text me about having had a class with me and having seen the news. I told myself I'd reply after a few weeks but in the end never did.
The paranoia since has made me a substantially worse person, and taken away how easily I trust.
When it comes to dating, I alternate between "money is now the most stable part of my life, so who cares if people partially like me over it? I earned it after all!" and "it's not as meaningful, I want someone who likes me solely for my other traits, but I can't trust whether that's the case."
Do everything you can to keep your success private.
[+] [-] throwaway58483|4 years ago|reply
Similar in some ways to winning the lottery, but there was no way to avoid some friends and family finding out. E.g. a friend and my dad helped edit my award claim submission.
I moved to a new city, kept it private, eventually told a couple new friends. Some people treat you the same, some people treat you differently (in a bad way, like another commenter mentioned). So it's useful as a filtering mechanism.
[+] [-] alecst|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Animats|4 years ago|reply
Many of those people making at high salaries at FAANG companies need to be saving more of it, because they'll be over the hill in their 40s, with 40 years left to go.
[+] [-] treesknees|4 years ago|reply
I do hope this guy is at least going on some trips and utilizing his gift while he can. Seems pretty pointless to hoard $50M to do nothing with it (yes, he collects the interest, but my point still stands.)
[+] [-] adrianN|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] at_a_remove|4 years ago|reply
I have a Cousin Tammy I've never met, who out of nowhere calls and tries to hit us up for money every so often. Two degrees. If Cousin Tammy knows some desperate people ...
You have to really weigh how much you trust each person you tell not to tell, and you have to also evaluate all of the people they might tell -- which is not an easy task. For example, I am estranged from my father who, if I went into why, most people here would easily agree, if not suggest pressing charges. Despite repeatedly asking my mother not to tell my father anything about me -- where I work, what I do, and so forth -- she does it.
Ergo, if I really want to keep something from my father, I cannot tell my mother.
Now, imagine doing this for everyone you know, plus a lot of money, which at fifty-five million dollars, which, in the words of The Way of the Gun "is not money. It's a motive with a universal adapter on it."
[+] [-] ollifi|4 years ago|reply
People complain and there has been talk and steps forward about changing the system but in the end I don’t think that much harm comes from it.
Ironically lottery winnings are tax free so they are the only people with stealth wealth.
[+] [-] samstave|4 years ago|reply
In HS I was a grocery bagger and I made $5.34/hr 1992-93
I then worked as head cad drafter (autocad) for multiple architects... When I announced I was quitting my firm to move to seattle, I told them I was moving and needed a raise so I could save up to move in 3 months, they laughed at my gall and granted me the raise from $8.50/hr to $9.25 -- 1994
I moved to Seattle then made $9.50 as head draftsman designing Fred Huchinson Cancer Research Center and a bunch of fast food restaurants and gas stations and cell sites... (Rent was $400/month for a 1 bedroom)
Moved back to the Bay in '97 and got a job as IT manager for a company making $42K/yr (Rent was $1,200 for 3-br
then $65k
then $70K
then $104K (mortgage $2400)
120, 150, 170, 250K
Now I am looking for work and make nothing...
I am happier making nothing than anytime I was on the clock 24/7/365 worrying about production uptime that made nothing better in this world....
[+] [-] baron816|4 years ago|reply
Part of it is that if you have money, then it will make you a target for thieves or corruption. But also, family members will ask you to borrow money if they know you have some. And if no one has any saved money, whenever they have an emergency, they’ll go beg the lone person who might have some. So, you’re better off just spending any money you get right away so that you don’t have to give it over to a family member.
Clearly, that equilibrium is hard to break out of, and pretty much requires kin based institutions to be broken down first (which is the thesis of the book for how the rich world got rich).
[+] [-] liquidise|4 years ago|reply
Ultimately, my fear for lottery winners is akin to discovering cheat codes in early video games. Turning on "Infinite Money" in $GAME was great... until it quickly sucked all of the joy out of the game. The limited resource challenge disappeared. I don't know anyone who has won the lottery, but i'd be worried you risk creating that very same sentiment, except about life itself. Scary, should you not have another well-established and faithfully-held purpose.
[+] [-] donmcronald|4 years ago|reply
This guy sounds like a special kind of asshole. Who wins $55 million dollars and thinks about “loaning” money to their parents? Lol. I get why you wouldn’t want to tell anyone you won the lotto, but you can tell a little white lie and claim to be doing well career wise so you have an excuse to give your parents some money.
This guy wants to justify being a greedy jerk IMO.
[+] [-] lazyeye|4 years ago|reply
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_...
[+] [-] Hamuko|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] thrill|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] gfiorav|4 years ago|reply
- Wife and I were in a tricky situation (stuck in a different country, living with parents since we couldn't go back home).
- It was stressful to be away from our home and not knowing when/if you'll be back.
- Nobody in the family offered any empathy to this situation since "what do you care? You have money."
We're nowhere near even the bottom mid of the most affected people by the pandemic, so don't take this as whining. I think others (especially those who don't have enough money not to worry) tend to believe that money would solve all their problems. Hence, they think you don't deserve empathy.
[+] [-] silicon2401|4 years ago|reply
Smart man. He did the right thing and I would gladly do the same in exchange for that kind of money any day of the week. Ironically, the idealists who don't understand the risks of letting people know how much money you have are also the ones who will suffer the most when they hear people's sob stories about why they need $X or why things are so hard from them; so they have even more reason not to publicize their wealth.
[+] [-] WalterBright|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throwaway1981xx|4 years ago|reply
One is pushing me to invest in his business, and one approached me for a reasonably large loan.
I've explained to both that I don't feel able to, but I can tell that both feel I am being unreasonable because it's only $XXk which they know isn't that significant to me.
I wish they hadn't have asked as it feels fatal for the friendships.
I already feel a bit of an outsider for sometimes having money.
Maybe all of these problems are in my own head.....
Either way, the lottery winner had the right idea.