[throwaway919022]

Anecdote time (throwaway account from a regular). From 2017 to early 2021, I was in an on/off relationship with a girl. Every time it ended, it would end up in the next few months of me getting drunk and then abusing her via messages or phone. I am also introvert, depressed and lonely so the abuses could get really bad. She eventually had to block me from all communication except email.

The last time this happened was in early 2021. At that time, one of my friends was about to leave for another country for work. My friend luckily managed to find a dealer. For around 3 months before he left, both of us would have an ecstasy pill each (not pure MDMA) every weekend and party. The abuses stopped and over time I did not feel any more anger towards the girl. Once my friend left, I stopped the ecstasy every week even though I take one every 2-3 months. However, my mental health has improved remarkably and I am now focused on re-skilling myself. I have never been so positive in my life.

I like to think MDMA has given me a second chance in life and it is up to me to make the most of it.

My supposed girlfriend actually enjoyed experimenting with drugs before we met, and occasionally used to do cocaine. I never touched them, even though I drink and smoke. Perhaps if I got the chance to do MDMA with her a couple of times our relationship could have been better. But I will never know.