[jeremie]

> I do deny it; or to be clear, I think it is a story that we've been conditioned to prefer over the others

Speaking personally, and perhaps it is indeed my conditioning, but at 25+ years of marriage I am living that beauty in 1 every day and I know without a doubt it has led me to my best possible life.

[kace91]

I don't mean to devalue your experience, nor imply that it is somehow less valid due to it happening to be our society's default "happy ending", for clarification.

If the default happens to work for you, that's awesome, and in fact it's probably what will work for most people - otherwise it wouldn't be the default.

I'm just against considering alternative ways of finding happiness or purpose as consolation prizes, bittersweet stories, or somehow less valuable or beautiful than others. There's effort in keeping a marriage working for decades; there's also effort in daring to leave an unhappy comfort zone to find better ways, or simply to learn to live life in your own terms if "the one" never appears for you.

[toomuchtodo]

Also speaking personally, I know more divorced couples than married couples, and have seen a married partner (who has a child) cheat on their spouse for going on a decade “because it’s the path of least resistance.” Also saw someone during a divorce light $100k on fire (from combined assets) in lawyer fees just to spite the other person (who had exhausted all options in attempting to repair the relationship before asking for the divorce).

Everyone is winging it, and the only beauty is in finding happiness while causing the least harm to others (imho). Do the best you can with the information you have, maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t.