[BadassFractal]

It took me about 3-4 separate attempts over the last 15 years to get music, and only this last couple of years I was finally able to crack the music notation, music theory, and music production nut. I'm by no means pro-level, but I can follow along and have a mostly intelligent conversation about anything musical and audio-related now, and also put out my own tracks that are based on this shockingly broad set of concepts that you can pick up as you're learning the world of music.

I had to attack this from every possible angle because I had practically the same experience as you. What ultimately worked for me was a combination of a piano teacher, going through the Adult Piano books, doing a few music production programs (including some online university ones) and surrounding myself (virtually) with people writing music regularly. Eventually, although through many ups and downs, it all made sense.

IMO the hardest part is having to scale the massive wall of terminology and basic concepts you have to grasp in order to speak music theory. Notes, durations, keys, chords, intervals, scales, modes, music notation, meter, various modifiers you would find on a sheet of music, etc.. in addition to being able to actually play those physically in the real world... It's a ton. You don't need any of it to actually write music that people will like, but if you want to feel like you can at least communicate about it to other humans, it really helps.