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megameter | 4 years ago

What every well-meaning parent will say, when pressed, is that they want their child to "be successful". But that goal brings us right back to the gauntlet of testing and ranking; to be successful in the systems of industrial society means being relatively better at what is tested, not your overall development. Everyone who doesn't fall in line manages to survive only by finding a "cheat code": a personal portfolio that has no competition, drive to start a business, pulling off a successful crime, marriage into wealth.

That is, the only way to really make the parents happy is to never promise a clear path to success, for once you do they will rush to gatekeep it for their child, disregarding the child's motives or perspective. It's the "extrinsic reward negates intrinsic reward" hypothesis at the greatest scale.

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