[ambivalents]

I understand what you're feeling, and I'm glad you're asking for help.

A few things that have worked for me:

- Internalizing the idea that most people simply do not care about anyone but themselves. This is not a bad thing. In situations like this it is truly liberating. "You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do." David Foster Wallace.

- Internalizing the idea that if the worst case you so fear actually happened, you would still be ok. More than ok. You would actually fear it less after that.

- Immersion and repetition. New environments can be overwhelming. But you can and will adapt. If you keep showing up, acknowledging that it will be uncomfortable, but push through it because that is how you get to the other side, you will be able to relax. Of course, do follow your gut if something truly feels off but this anxiety sounds more like a product of your thoughts than an actual threat.

Sending you love.