[markdjacobsen]

I'm sorry you've been going through this. I can relate somewhat. I have been successful by most standards, but made large sacrifices for "paths less taken" that didn't work out like I'd hoped. That included a prestigious PhD, which I did complete but was a grueling experience that ravaged my mental health (grad school can be absolutely brutal for this). Everything culminated between 35-40, a hard season of questioning the direction of my life, feeling restless and dissatisfied, and yearning for something I couldn't name.

You will find plenty of practical advice (such as about career changes), which may be helpful. Professional mental health care can also be important. But I'd also encourage you to take the "inner journey" aspect of this seriously. When we enter these listless seasons, it's often because our soul is alerting us to something in our life that isn't working for us... and thus offering us an opportunity to learn and grow. The darkness has a lot to teach if you do the inner work to slow down and listen to what it has to say. During these years I gained a lot of empathy and wisdom about life.

Passing through these seasons is a universal part of the human experience, and you'll find some wonderful guides. Some of my favorite resources include this article by David Brooks [0], "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by James Hollis, "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker Palmer, "Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr, "Crossing the Unknown Sea" by David Whyte, and "Reboot" by Jerry Colonna.

I also wrote a book about my own experience, titled "Eating Glass: The Inner Journey Through Failure and Renewal", designed to help others navigate these seasons. I have numerous free chapters here [1]. My main goal for the book is just to help others going through these seasons, so if you email me, I'll send you a free digital copy. I sincerely wish you luck finding your way through this season.

[0] https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/06/opinion/sunday/moral-revo... [1] https://markdjacobsen.com/eating-glass/