[e-pelaza]

Money is the gateway to "fun" for me. Working enough to afford the stuff I like and never so much so that I can't spend that money. Find the right balance. And if your job/company makes you miserable, hire someone else to do it, you will earn less, but will have more time to do other things more meaningful to you, whatever that is, spend time with family etc...

[burnedout008]

I hear you. My issue is that I don't know what is fun to me anymore. I have no hobbies, no real friends (most people I would call Friends are all about kids or work, no real personal connection). I do love my wife and kids and they are very dear to me but I feel like I don't live for myself anymore. hard to explain.

[grujicd]

I'm very lucky that my wife and kids typically leave me alone for a week every year by going to her relatives. I do join them later but I also really appreciate this week alone.

Since my business can be always switched to low-maintenance mode, I can do anything I want during that week. Anything. And I imagined it would be a bunch of stuff but after x years it's not. It's mostly watching movies (projector with nice audio setup) and riding a bicycle. Movies that you don't have to think whether your wife or kids would like. Stupid action movies. Classic b/w movies. Good SF, bad SF. Sometimes I do small fixes around the house with music playing in the background. It brings different kind of satisfaction than software work because it's something physical and you can see and feel what is done.

I really get very refreshed after such week. Maybe because I'm an introvert? It's not comparable at all with any kind of vacation. You don't have to go anywhere, you don't have to do anything, and then things you enjoy the most tend to pop up and stick. It's not like I would live like that 365 days a year, but at least I know what I want when it comes to those rare my days. And then I tend to push for a moderate amount of that during the rest of the year.

[leetrout]

Nothing hard to explain. I feel the same way (only one kid).

Just feels like I never get to lead projects or take on big chunks of work past few gigs. I really want to start my own thing in the next few years.

Treating this as a cautionary tale what advice would you give someone wanting what you have?

[e-pelaza]

After spending so much time working, and nothing more it's understandable. But now that you know what's the problem, all you have to do is try solutions until it clicks. Traveling is nice, learning new skills also ...