[MissionInfl]

My story could not be more similar to yours. I abused alcohol and cannabis starting in college and up until relatively recently. Eventually the alcohol use had caught up with me and caused serious ramifications in my life. I was able to get that under control (check my comment history for more information) and eventually the focus turned to cannabis. It is my last vice at this point, even porn is on the way out although that still took about a year of work to get to the point where I don't use it but some of the underlying issues are still lingering.

I smoked cannabis only after work for a long time in the before time. I had tried, although without any professional help, to get that down to only weekends. But inevitably it would creep back in: I'd end up smoking on a Thursday or Monday night, in addition to the weekend, and then slowly add weeknights back until it was every day. Things got so much worse during the pandemic, I started using it 24/7, it was seemingly the only escape from the mundane. At the very least I'm glad I wasn't drinking during those times but it was far from ideal given both my shift away from drinking alcohol limited my social life and COVID obviously made that oh so much worse. Smoking and playing video games was all that I had left. I'm back to the weekends now, given it is winter with COVID restrictions in my area, it is still the driver of my social life.

I'm not coming to you with all of the answers. I'm interested in what the community comes up with myself. But here are my own tips and learnings that you might find useful: - ADD is a HUGE part of this situation. I see you mentioned it in a comment but not the main post. I didn't even know I had it until I got help for depression during the pandemic and eventually was diagnosed. ADHD makes it hard to put up with the mundane. Cannabis can make any mundane task interesting for me, although with a pretty low success rate. Taking Concerta has helped in a non-trivial way but hasn't fixed everything - Recently I've started to put more effort into smoking the right way if I do smoke. For example, if I had some exercise planned that day, I do that before smoking. (I do powerlifting so I definitely don't wanna be high for that). Or, if I do smoke and play video games, do it when some of my friends are online so it's a social activity. I end up too introverted sometimes. I'm also working on starting later in the day when I do smoke. If I start smoking at 10am, I'm dead tired by 4pm and the rest of the day is ruined. Instead if I start at 6pm, I'm dead tired around when it is time to go to bed. This isn't some trick to get myself to consume less. If anything, this is causing me to enjoy smoking more, which might be my goal

I'll probably update this comment when I think of more things. Until then, I am with you my friend, your experience is shared. I wish I had better advice but I'm not any farther along in this journey so I don't have it. In the meantime, I hope you find these ramblings useful

[throwaway_weed]

Your comment is very kind and insightful, yes there's a lot to all of this but I do appreciate you sharing your experience, it doesn't have to provide answers and you know, I think sometimes it's better not to. One conversational tactic I've found hugely helpful in developing relationships is to preface some comments, especially when the subject is loaded with emotion/anxiety, simply by saying "well here's some random thoughts and feelings from me, please understand this is not a judgement or decision but rather a brain dump" – this opens people up tremendously and rather than examining your every word in anticipatory defense, if you have a good rapport and good trust then they will listen to you in an entirely different and more receptive way, and are more likely to venture something that they might not have otherwise.

Thank you!