[technicolorwhat]

Hmm for me a course did wonders really. It really allowed me to better express my own needs and feelings and dial in the feelings of others.

What described above I've seen happen, but mostly with beginners or people that use this new found ideas as agenda but without actually connecting with the other, expecting miracles or use NVC as a tool for policing. Or people that were already manipulative in the first place, but now just try to use NVC.

It can also come off as manipulative in an already unhealthy situation, where the relationship consists of so much mistrust that bringing anything new to the table is frowned upon and already met with suspicion.

My personal take away from it was to ensure that I prevent destructive communication and prevent blame using words things like "You should have" because they don't give the other tools to work with and actually address the problem at hand. For me the bottom line of the book was that us expressing our emotions and needs to allow the other, if willing, to actually address the problem at hand. It also made me see that sometimes effective communication was blocked because I had to deal with my own things first.

Communication, empathy, and time to actually listen, is something that unfortunately in my culture isn't thought as a core skill.