[sotu]

Hey eloff - I'm a founder who's spent a great deal of time in the trenches and is now scaling a startup so maybe I can share my sliver of experience.

Firstly, in order to be successful you need these two things: 1. Your must believe it is inevitable, if you don't build it someone else will 2. You must fall in love with the outcome

I will never tell another founder to quit because I remember when I was told discouraging advice along my journey and how hard it was to hear it and keep trudging. Starting a company is a lesson in mental health and managing your happiness.

If you are discouraged it is not because of your startup - it is because of the anxiety you are feeling around your future family's situation. What does your future family need to be OK? What does it mean to be serious? What do you need to feel like you are a good parent and father?

Do you need more money? Are you anxious about buying a home? Do you believe you can not raise a family well if you rent? These are all questions that me and my friends who are startup founders (or trying to be anyway) talk about with each other constantly.

Even if you know that people want your product the hurdle of taking it to market is equally hard and cumbersome. When you start a startup its because you are on a journey.. just like running on a treadmill sucks if you watch the distance with every step, startups are the same way - try to forget about "the end" and fall in love with the path.

I'd venture a guess that you are an intellectually curious person.. probably curiosity is a value of yours, maybe your startup is just a manifestation of your curiosity? That's a beautiful thing. It is you being you to your fullest.. think about the wisdom and knowledge you have gained and can pass off to your kids now that you tried your hardest to follow your values and heart. Would a house and yard teach them that?

Give up? Grow up? Get a job? There's no right or wrong answer. The only thing to do is ask yourself why you are worried and address those things independently.

What does getting serious about your family mean? What are the exact things that it means to you and your wife? Quantify it.. if it means make more money.. ask why? if its because you want to own a house, ask why again? If its because you believe you can not raise a family because of a house, ask why again - try to get to the root of your concerns. Perhaps it is not logical.. or perhaps it is and you will emerge with conviction.

I think the question you are asking is healthy but no one can answer it for you on hacker news, only you can answer it (in partnership with your life partner)

Good luck and keep believing in yourself!!

[eloff]

You answered my question with a dozen more questions :) Thank you, these are important things to think about and discuss with my wife. I appreciate the time and effort you took to respond to me. Good luck in your endeavours as well!

[tomdekan]

Great response.