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troglodynellc | 3 years ago

Drop the therapy and start lifting weights. I'm not kidding.

If the problem is that you feel things are gonna be a slow decline from here, then fight it. Make that your new goal, even if you know it to be a losing battle. It will focus your mind on demonstrable milestones like hitting new deadlift personal best.

Even if you do something else, at the very least recognize that you've gotten to the point where you don't need to focus on the "work" and "money" part of life; as such treat this as an opportunity to focus on something new. After all, we only have a limited time on this earth to experience the things you want to do. This crisis is your mind's way of saying "I haven't done something I wished I had done." It isn't bad, it's just cognitive dissonance. Find the root of that dissonance and do that which would resolve the problems keeping you from finding fulfillment. This process will be emotionally painful but also cathartic.

Best of luck; know that every man has it within them to pull through this and come out the other end happy and fulfilled. So long as you are willing to question everything about why you are the way you currently are, you will eventually seek out the truths you need to proceed.

discuss

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weego|3 years ago

Absolutely never under any circumstances attempt to take people away from their safety net, therapist or otherwise.

You have no understanding of their wider life and concerns, and people asking for big life change help can be surprisingly susceptible to advice.

Trasmatta|3 years ago

Every couple years some new trend pops up that people start claiming will fix everyone's mental health issues. One of the current ones seems to be weight lifting. I have no doubt it can be massively helpful for mental health for a lot of people, but it's awfully condescending and detached from reality when people show up say "lmao drop therapy, all you have to do is pick up heavy things".

JMiao|3 years ago

Yes, but the thing is, the right therapist might help with the self-reflection you're talking about in paragraph 3. "Therapy" isn't one thing.

weakfish|3 years ago

Absurd to ever suggest to a stranger that they stop therapy. You don’t know them. Awful, awful thing to do.

svmegatron|3 years ago

Better yet: keep going to therapy and start lifting weights!

jawerty|3 years ago

Ignore the other commenters this is good advice to give a man in a tough spot. If you find it yourself you'll be stronger. That's it. Life is tough and not fair, sometimes the people you rely on won't be there. The less dependent you are on others to get yourself out of a hole the better off you are.

aarpmcgee|3 years ago

Not sure about the suggestion to "drop the therapy"—if op's current therapy isn't helping so much, a different therapist/approach can make all the difference in the world. It took a lot of time for me to discover that kind of therapy worked best for me, and it also took some determination for me to find a therapist with whom I could really connect. My current therapist has helped me so much.

throwaway13575|3 years ago

If you do start lifting, I would recommend Starting Strength (Rippetoe). The 3x5 squats, deadlift, press routine got me out of a deep depression. It gave me life. I saw that the mind is supported by the body, and without health the mind is a turmoil.

blipvert|3 years ago

Woah, toxic masculinity alert!

By all means give weights (or running, cycling, whatever) a go, but stay with the therapy.

Better to listen to professionals rather than some rando on the web.

vvvcccvvv|3 years ago

No no no. Never tell someone you do not know to stop going to therapy. Please be careful

_Microft|3 years ago

> Drop the therapy

NEVER, EVER, suggest dropping therapy to someone with depression.

getlawgdon|3 years ago

Terrible suggestion. Full stop. OP: Do not stop therapy.