I had first kids in my 20s. Now 59 and in another marriage and my younger kids are almost 6 and almost 2. I live them to bits and every day I look at what I do and think how will they remember me if I die tonight. Morbid maybe but helps with choices. More emails or cuddling the 2yo and reading a book. Learning something esoteric about operating systems or doing the day’s wordle with 6yo.
Momento Mori the Stoics way to remember we all die so make best use of time. The Hagakure tells us to always depart from others as we wish to be remembered.
FTR I run a lot now knowing that it improves quality of life and stats show time running is returned in more time alive. I value those extra hours with those whom I love.
I don’t care if I have to work until the day I die to support my kids but I do care that I have as many seconds with them that I can manage. And leave them knowing their dad ‘lived for them’.
I think we’re approaching a point in human evolution where we should all be obsessed with death. Like, spending R&R time on biology.
100 years ago, it would be unhealthy - it was certainly an unavoidable outcome. I had this view going through high school and college - biology/anatomy classes never interested me. They were fairly hocus pocus in my eyes - like we were scratching the surface of a world we barely understood and wouldn’t master for dozens of generations. As if a Neanderthal discovered a computer and attempted to understand how it worked - they’d get there, but the original Neanderthal would be long dead before any real answers surfaced.
This changed recently. The hockey stick of progress is clearly forming in biology. With technology like CRISPR, we are starting to get the tools to reverse engineer and bend life to our will. Death doesn’t seem inevitable for my children anymore; our generation might actually be able to partially solve it - at least enough to buy the next generation enough time to fully solve it.
Death can't be "solved" because it's not a problem, it's a solution. If we defeat death (and we may) then a host of terrifying problems will arise from that, starting from the sharing of resources, who gets to enjoy that technology, etc.
Defeating death is a great plot idea for a dystopian novel, but in reality it's the ultimate selfish pursuit.
I'd say avoiding death is about as likely as overtaking the speed of light. It seems like science fiction to me. No matter how much progress we make, we might be trying to do something that's literally impossible.
That doesn't mean we can't research it, and certainly we can discover things that are useful. But there's really no reason to believe immortality is achievable. And honestly there are lots of works of fiction on why it's actually bad for humanity.
I reached the same conclusion as you when I became a biology student and started to learn about morphogenesis, epigenetic reprogramming, DNA repair enzymes, etc.
I wouldn’t have said that a few years ago and would have accepted my fate. However, now my perspective has changed because we’re on the verge of a revolution in biotech (we’ll, one could argue we are in the middle) where we understand enough of the aging process - not all of it - to reverse it or at least slow it down.
However, I’m really disappointed with some of the people in the field such as David Sinclair who have become snake oil salesman and almost charlatans, pushing inconclusive science as facts (e.g. resveratrol, sirtuins, etc) and I think it hurts the field more than anything else.
Interesting years ahead, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t mind living a few more decades as long as I’m healthy and active.
> I think we’re approaching a point in human evolution where we should all be obsessed with death. Like, spending R&R time on biology.
I believe we are going in that direction in general. Then one day some crazy person wakes up and decides to wage a war and kill thousands for some fantasy, threatening the rest of the world with nukes.
So at the end of the day biology itself is not enough, preventing climate change is not enough. Similar to what we have in IT security, we need to have a way for coordinated global action that would correspond to new threats. As a humanity, we more or less started to learn how to deal with a global pandemic, what are the gravest mistakes, how the governments must not communicate with the public and so on. We are constantly learning and evolving.
In certain phase of life IMO probably most of us think about death, but until we are able to became "pure intellects" who can switch from an artificial-biological body to another witch means live forever from the single human being point of view we will keep dying no matter how we try to change.
One thing too many forget is that being alive is not the single target. Being alive but for instance in a wheelchair might not be that desirable, and that the most stupid example. So we add new category of research to push for instance old age effects in the future, and since we can't do that much we just mock them up like "hey menopause can be nice with 'treatments'" or "hey thanks to analgesics we can ignore back pain, articular pain etc" masking them under the carpet and often if we mask too much shortening our active life.
The most important fact IMVHO is living to live, enjoying their life, and that's the issue: balancing the today/short term pleasure to the longer term ones. I have no recipe for that, probably an entire life is needed to find the right balance and once found that will not apply much for a younger self so the game began again.
We are still absolutely on the Neanderthal discovered the computer level.
Even with CRISPR, how are you going to replace existing structures that doesn’t naturally grow continuously, like our very brains? They accumulate all sorts of waste materials and you have absolutely no way to replace that specific axon with a new one in its place. That would also require complete control on creating new proteins, where we are absolutely at the beginning, and not even that may be enough.
We are basically made with single-use components, not everything is just a constantly dividing bunch of cells.
I don't think death is a thing that can be "solved" ( as in, it's not a problem per se and "solving" it will only cause a lot of problems). There's only a finite amount of resources on the planet after all, so we can't have everybody live for as long as they want while also making children.
We need a maturity revolution across the entire globe for any technological immortality to be created that is not as a maximum profit seeking corporate nightmare. I suspect we're at a point technologically we can finally see the horizon, but like a mirage it is further away than it appears.
I don’t really like this view of the world. I think they are correct about the lack of certainty and doing things while you can, but often big goals, like having a child, professional success, monetary success, etc. can cause us to miss life, too. Everything is a trade off. There’s always opportunity cost and you can always look back and see what you may have sacrificed to get where you are.
It’s needlessly depressing to wallow in this mindset. I personally value being a good person and my connections with people. Sure I could focus this energy on one human I bring into the world, but that’s not objectively better than anyone else I affect positively.
And I know having a child is a transformative experience. I’m lucky enough to have lots of little cousins and Have volunteered with programs for kids for years. Kids are amazing and bring magic to the world as you grow older. I just think that wrapping all of your identity and self worth up in a single goal is asking for disappointment. It’s not fair to you or the child.
Try to appreciate your real impact on the world. Did you improve someone’s day today? Did you restore someone’s faith in humanity? Is someone comforted right now by their trust in you? That’s the good stuff. Make that happen any way you can.
If you do want a child, go for it. Time IS ticking, but if you can’t or didn’t or are considering bring one into a bad situation or relationship to quell an existential fear, don’t worry. It’s fine. You can still find meaning and have an impact through your connections with others.
This is a topic that completely changed how I think about my life. Many people think it's morbid, but I've found that contemplating my death frequently allows me to make much better decisions about how I'm spending my finite time.
This inspired me to make an android wallpaper that displays the percentage of my life that's already elapsed, so every time I look at my phone I'm reminded to think "is this really what I want to be doing right now?".
Same. My favorite topic (not easily brought up at parties though). Powerful meditation... Some suggested readings would be Ernest Becker and Sheldon Solomon.
I have to say I like this somewhat poetic way of writing, especially the sentences with which the author ends paragraphs. Very rich.
On a different note, no. Let's fight death. Fuck aging. We can fight it. We don't have to suffer like cattle under it. We can beat it.
There are plenty of longevity focused startups and academic research groups, and yet we're not spending nearly enough effort and money on this problem. It affects every human on earth, and the immense benefits of adding even one year of healthy lifespan to 7 billion people make it a moral imperative to act upon.
Fighting death should be a multi-national effort that we focus on with all our might, _right now_. You shouldn't have to die.
Most cattle don't suffer from aging. Beef cattle are usually killed in their first year or two. Dairy cows live longer, but tend to be killed after their milk output drops enough (which I guess you could call aging, but they could live for many more years after that).
If you're proposing fighting aging, but against a backdrop of euthenization, ala Logan's Run, I'm in, but we'll need to rebuild the Dallas mall everyone lives in. But if it's trying to get the general population to have a life expectency of 100+, I'm not sure that's a grand plan.
Warren Buffett is probably working hard to buy more time. Sad reality, we just don’t know the outcome after death. If we knew the outcome, it will be okay to accept it.
Even after too much psychedelics. It still doesn’t help anyone accept the deep void of not knowing.
Why? Life is long enough when well lived. My intuition is decisively against the idea of stretching longevity. How about we try to make more meaningful the time we are given rather than having more capacity for idleness and dread?
Yes, you should. Either that, or no one can have children. It's finite planet, and it's already over-flowing with people and their detritus.
Not only that, but if people don't die, then the first generation that doesn't die will end up ruling forever over everyone who has the misfortune of being born later. In a world where no one dies, someone like Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong Un can and will rule quite literally forever. The U.S. Supreme Court will have no turnover.
I had my kids young. I’m an empty nester at 45, and I happen to be dipping my toe into the dating pool for the first time in a very long time. Looking through online dating profiles, I’m genuinely surprised how many folks want to have children into their late 40s.
Ignoring the medical risks, this throws the timing of everything off. A former coworker is paying off his kids’ student loans in retirement.
My grandmother was 47 when she had my mother. I saw my mother struggle to care for her aging mother while at the same time raising children.
It's not surprising, it's an economic consequence. At 25 I couldn't even afford to properly care for myself, much less a kid. At 30 it would have been difficult with lots of corner cutting. At 35 its viable-ish, but now I'm getting up there...
Also, it limits your ability to enjoy your grandkids. My oldest will be out of the house by the time we’re 44/45, and the kids have been informed they have until 27 before I call the Bangladeshi matchmaker. God willing if I life to the normal life expectancy I’ll see my great grands.
All else equal, having child related expenses later in life rather than earlier will only leave you richer due to time value of money. Assuming you plan ahead and save.
I can't imagine having biological kids that late in life, however becoming a foster/adoption parent is always possible and there's always a need for more of them.
This is a beautiful article, but I feel that it should be read as a chronicle of the author's life experience rather than an analysis on when to have your children.
The age at which couples are having their children is Indeed increasing; this isn't necessarily a bad thing. As the author pointed out, parents are more likely to have time to spend with their children if they've already established a career/source of income. They'll automatically also have better resources to care for them (babysitter/schooling/literally everything else). On top of all that, they'll have more life experience, which should help in the education of their offspring.
Besides, what are the alternatives ? Having your children at a young age has the only major benefit of being young. And if your remain healthy throughout your life, I believe the benefit of being young remains irrelevant.
There's a reason why the classic "midlife crisis" comes between 40-50. A lot of people reach this point halfway through their lives, often at the peak of their careers, and think "my time is limited… is this all there is?"
As someone in this age range, I don't find it depressing, I find it clarifying. There are so many things I could say "yes" to, so many branches in my career I could chase. Reminding myself that my time is limited helps me to say "no" and maintain focus on the things that truly matter.
Apologies for veering slightly off-topic here, but if we're talking about living well, this feels semi-relevant. My continual struggle is trying to find a balance between:
* ensuring my kid knows he is loved by his parents
* doing interesting work as a software dev, with some career progression
* taking care of myself adequately
The current setup feels extremely tight from a time perspective, causing the latter point to get cut consistently. This ends up wearing me out over time, making me worse at all the above slowly. So I feel the strain of time already.
Fellow parents on HN, how do you make all of this happen?
I am a tremendous Beatles fan and I often depress myself by looking back at their 1960’s Beatlemania concerts and think that most of those screaming teenagers are probably dead by now. Happy Friday.
Former F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone had a child (his first son) at 90.
As a guy I am not that interested in having babies, we have reached a point where we are not facing underpopulation anymore and will not face it any time soon.
But for Ecclestone having a baby at 90...that's his POE (Proof of Erection), I tip my hat to that.
Yes, you have finite time and it's just simply so easy to squander them, playing games, social media, clicking around on youtube, etc. I'm sure many of us do it more than we would like and taking back that control is hard because "wasting" time is just so easy.
For me, visualising this has helped me put things in context and made me make better decisions but that's not to say I don't fall down the whole now and again. I wrote https://www.thismuchlonger.com/ many years ago and have it as a pinned tab in my browser.
This is a good point to reflect on the value of life. Not just human, either. The world definitely abounds in examples of life not being respected or valued. Just this morning we’re seeing satellite photos of mass graves outside Mariupol, Ukraine, for instance. Todays also earth day.
So yes, life’s end aka death is certain. I think that’s reason enough for life to be valued, cherished, and protected more than it is. And all those things which deteriorate life’s habitat should be mitigated and sought to be reversed. The cold unfeeling universe doesn’t have to win sooner than later.
> If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children.
Well it's both really. "Too young" varies from person to person, though. I know some people that really had their lives together in their 20s, and I know people in their 40s that are still too young to have kids.
We talk about age because it's easily measured, but we should also care about maturity.
One of my favourite quotes (no idea who made it) is that in all of human history, the death rate is exactly 100%. Outside of people's religious beliefs (Jesus, Lazarus, etc) and fiction (vampires, sci-fi, etc), we'd all agree that no-one has escaped death.
The death rate is 100%, no-one gets out alive. So we should get as much out of this life as we can. What that means for you can differ from others, but to me that's a central question as we enter middle-age.
It is worth investigating the historical reliability of Jesus's resurrection. If he really did defeat death as he claimed he would, what are the consequences? What does that mean for the rest of Jesus's claims? I think it's the consequences of the bible being true that people most want to avoid.
I've attached some resources for those who want to dig deeper, including arguments from both sides of the debate.
> The death rate is 100%, no-one gets out alive. So we should get as much out of this life as we can.
I don't think one flows from the other. It could be argued that since the death rate is 100%, nothing really matters. Once dead, we are not going to miss the life not lived. Growing old is a sure way to have regrets.
We had our first and only at 40. (My wife is two days younger than me.) I retired a year ago, and our daughter is approaching a quarter of a century old. That was a miracle in itself as she almost didn't make it past hour one.
I loved this essay, saved it even. It's how I've lived my life for all of the days since our daughter's birth. I'm reluctant to say it's how I lived all of the years before that, as I wasn't as aware of time and of my mortality. That said, I had a sense my average life would be 75 years, and privately celebrated my 37.5 year birthday.
For me, I consider my life as a book. There's a chapter where I would read the Wizard of Oz books to our daughter most nights. We went through the set of 15 books three times, and then it stopped. There's a chapter where I was doing fashion photography as a hobby for eight years. Me?! Yes! I even had two fashion shoots in Manhattan. There are many chapters of me working as a mathemagician, working on air traffic control R&D projects, one where I had to simulate stratospheric balloon trajectories and balloon control and navigation logic. I also had to learn a lot about stratospheric weather, which our in-house meteorologists had almost no experience.
I take essays like this and the two PG essays, and realize I have the chance to live a little more. This afternoon I'll be at the library while our daughter is working from home. I'll be continuing the writing of a story, may work on the migration from Freemind to Freeplane so that I can return to my personal work on the Traveling Salesman Problem. I'll grill dinner tonight for the family, will attend an in-person luncheon on Saturday, have an on-line chat with some folks in Berkeley Sunday night (I'm outside DC.)
The clock is ticking, the sand is flowing through the sandglass (I love that from Tom Scocca's essay!). The meaning of life is what we produce and what we create in the limited time we have. It's our mortality that establishes the context for meaning; it's what we do that is the actual meaning.
My grandfather on my father’s side was born in 1906. He was 35 when my father was born in 1941.
My father was 38 when I entered this world in 1979.
I was 41 in 2020 when my son was born. Fortunately we were able to have some semblance of an 80th birthday for his grandfather last year in the midst of this pandemic.
If my son has a child as late in life as I have, there’s no telling if I’ll get to meet them, simply because of life expectancy.
[+] [-] zoom6628|3 years ago|reply
Momento Mori the Stoics way to remember we all die so make best use of time. The Hagakure tells us to always depart from others as we wish to be remembered.
FTR I run a lot now knowing that it improves quality of life and stats show time running is returned in more time alive. I value those extra hours with those whom I love.
I don’t care if I have to work until the day I die to support my kids but I do care that I have as many seconds with them that I can manage. And leave them knowing their dad ‘lived for them’.
[+] [-] r3trohack3r|3 years ago|reply
100 years ago, it would be unhealthy - it was certainly an unavoidable outcome. I had this view going through high school and college - biology/anatomy classes never interested me. They were fairly hocus pocus in my eyes - like we were scratching the surface of a world we barely understood and wouldn’t master for dozens of generations. As if a Neanderthal discovered a computer and attempted to understand how it worked - they’d get there, but the original Neanderthal would be long dead before any real answers surfaced.
This changed recently. The hockey stick of progress is clearly forming in biology. With technology like CRISPR, we are starting to get the tools to reverse engineer and bend life to our will. Death doesn’t seem inevitable for my children anymore; our generation might actually be able to partially solve it - at least enough to buy the next generation enough time to fully solve it.
[+] [-] bambax|3 years ago|reply
Defeating death is a great plot idea for a dystopian novel, but in reality it's the ultimate selfish pursuit.
[+] [-] MegaButts|3 years ago|reply
That doesn't mean we can't research it, and certainly we can discover things that are useful. But there's really no reason to believe immortality is achievable. And honestly there are lots of works of fiction on why it's actually bad for humanity.
[+] [-] arboghast|3 years ago|reply
I wouldn’t have said that a few years ago and would have accepted my fate. However, now my perspective has changed because we’re on the verge of a revolution in biotech (we’ll, one could argue we are in the middle) where we understand enough of the aging process - not all of it - to reverse it or at least slow it down.
However, I’m really disappointed with some of the people in the field such as David Sinclair who have become snake oil salesman and almost charlatans, pushing inconclusive science as facts (e.g. resveratrol, sirtuins, etc) and I think it hurts the field more than anything else.
Interesting years ahead, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t mind living a few more decades as long as I’m healthy and active.
[+] [-] jtsiskin|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] hdjjhhvvhga|3 years ago|reply
I believe we are going in that direction in general. Then one day some crazy person wakes up and decides to wage a war and kill thousands for some fantasy, threatening the rest of the world with nukes.
So at the end of the day biology itself is not enough, preventing climate change is not enough. Similar to what we have in IT security, we need to have a way for coordinated global action that would correspond to new threats. As a humanity, we more or less started to learn how to deal with a global pandemic, what are the gravest mistakes, how the governments must not communicate with the public and so on. We are constantly learning and evolving.
[+] [-] kkfx|3 years ago|reply
One thing too many forget is that being alive is not the single target. Being alive but for instance in a wheelchair might not be that desirable, and that the most stupid example. So we add new category of research to push for instance old age effects in the future, and since we can't do that much we just mock them up like "hey menopause can be nice with 'treatments'" or "hey thanks to analgesics we can ignore back pain, articular pain etc" masking them under the carpet and often if we mask too much shortening our active life.
The most important fact IMVHO is living to live, enjoying their life, and that's the issue: balancing the today/short term pleasure to the longer term ones. I have no recipe for that, probably an entire life is needed to find the right balance and once found that will not apply much for a younger self so the game began again.
[+] [-] kaba0|3 years ago|reply
Even with CRISPR, how are you going to replace existing structures that doesn’t naturally grow continuously, like our very brains? They accumulate all sorts of waste materials and you have absolutely no way to replace that specific axon with a new one in its place. That would also require complete control on creating new proteins, where we are absolutely at the beginning, and not even that may be enough.
We are basically made with single-use components, not everything is just a constantly dividing bunch of cells.
[+] [-] sofixa|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] bsenftner|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] javajosh|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] joeberon|3 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] buddylw|3 years ago|reply
It’s needlessly depressing to wallow in this mindset. I personally value being a good person and my connections with people. Sure I could focus this energy on one human I bring into the world, but that’s not objectively better than anyone else I affect positively.
And I know having a child is a transformative experience. I’m lucky enough to have lots of little cousins and Have volunteered with programs for kids for years. Kids are amazing and bring magic to the world as you grow older. I just think that wrapping all of your identity and self worth up in a single goal is asking for disappointment. It’s not fair to you or the child.
Try to appreciate your real impact on the world. Did you improve someone’s day today? Did you restore someone’s faith in humanity? Is someone comforted right now by their trust in you? That’s the good stuff. Make that happen any way you can.
If you do want a child, go for it. Time IS ticking, but if you can’t or didn’t or are considering bring one into a bad situation or relationship to quell an existential fear, don’t worry. It’s fine. You can still find meaning and have an impact through your connections with others.
[+] [-] machinerychorus|3 years ago|reply
This inspired me to make an android wallpaper that displays the percentage of my life that's already elapsed, so every time I look at my phone I'm reminded to think "is this really what I want to be doing right now?".
App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.machineryc...
Source code: https://github.com/ethanmdavidson/DeathProgress
[+] [-] bombcar|3 years ago|reply
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori
[+] [-] namero999|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dleslie|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lisper|3 years ago|reply
Came into the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay...
[+] [-] xtracto|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] montenegrohugo|3 years ago|reply
On a different note, no. Let's fight death. Fuck aging. We can fight it. We don't have to suffer like cattle under it. We can beat it.
There are plenty of longevity focused startups and academic research groups, and yet we're not spending nearly enough effort and money on this problem. It affects every human on earth, and the immense benefits of adding even one year of healthy lifespan to 7 billion people make it a moral imperative to act upon.
Fighting death should be a multi-national effort that we focus on with all our might, _right now_. You shouldn't have to die.
Related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=cZYNADOHhVY
[+] [-] toast0|3 years ago|reply
Most cattle don't suffer from aging. Beef cattle are usually killed in their first year or two. Dairy cows live longer, but tend to be killed after their milk output drops enough (which I guess you could call aging, but they could live for many more years after that).
If you're proposing fighting aging, but against a backdrop of euthenization, ala Logan's Run, I'm in, but we'll need to rebuild the Dallas mall everyone lives in. But if it's trying to get the general population to have a life expectency of 100+, I'm not sure that's a grand plan.
[+] [-] bigChris|3 years ago|reply
Even after too much psychedelics. It still doesn’t help anyone accept the deep void of not knowing.
[+] [-] rscho|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] namero999|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lisper|3 years ago|reply
Yes, you should. Either that, or no one can have children. It's finite planet, and it's already over-flowing with people and their detritus.
Not only that, but if people don't die, then the first generation that doesn't die will end up ruling forever over everyone who has the misfortune of being born later. In a world where no one dies, someone like Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong Un can and will rule quite literally forever. The U.S. Supreme Court will have no turnover.
[+] [-] jnwatson|3 years ago|reply
Ignoring the medical risks, this throws the timing of everything off. A former coworker is paying off his kids’ student loans in retirement.
My grandmother was 47 when she had my mother. I saw my mother struggle to care for her aging mother while at the same time raising children.
[+] [-] Workaccount2|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rayiner|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] pushrax|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] candiddevmike|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] vwcx|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] gabs6973|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] madamelic|3 years ago|reply
Well-written article but extremely heavy on the existential dread and questioning whether I am spending my time wisely.
[+] [-] turnsout|3 years ago|reply
As someone in this age range, I don't find it depressing, I find it clarifying. There are so many things I could say "yes" to, so many branches in my career I could chase. Reminding myself that my time is limited helps me to say "no" and maintain focus on the things that truly matter.
[+] [-] mattgreenrocks|3 years ago|reply
* ensuring my kid knows he is loved by his parents
* doing interesting work as a software dev, with some career progression
* taking care of myself adequately
The current setup feels extremely tight from a time perspective, causing the latter point to get cut consistently. This ends up wearing me out over time, making me worse at all the above slowly. So I feel the strain of time already.
Fellow parents on HN, how do you make all of this happen?
[+] [-] tamaharbor|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] McLaren_Ferrari|3 years ago|reply
As a guy I am not that interested in having babies, we have reached a point where we are not facing underpopulation anymore and will not face it any time soon.
But for Ecclestone having a baby at 90...that's his POE (Proof of Erection), I tip my hat to that.
[+] [-] phasersout|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mkl95|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] asmega|3 years ago|reply
For me, visualising this has helped me put things in context and made me make better decisions but that's not to say I don't fall down the whole now and again. I wrote https://www.thismuchlonger.com/ many years ago and have it as a pinned tab in my browser.
[+] [-] ianai|3 years ago|reply
So yes, life’s end aka death is certain. I think that’s reason enough for life to be valued, cherished, and protected more than it is. And all those things which deteriorate life’s habitat should be mitigated and sought to be reversed. The cold unfeeling universe doesn’t have to win sooner than later.
[+] [-] VyseofArcadia|3 years ago|reply
Well it's both really. "Too young" varies from person to person, though. I know some people that really had their lives together in their 20s, and I know people in their 40s that are still too young to have kids.
We talk about age because it's easily measured, but we should also care about maturity.
[+] [-] corry|3 years ago|reply
The death rate is 100%, no-one gets out alive. So we should get as much out of this life as we can. What that means for you can differ from others, but to me that's a central question as we enter middle-age.
[+] [-] positus|3 years ago|reply
I've attached some resources for those who want to dig deeper, including arguments from both sides of the debate.
https://www.reasonablefaith.org/media/debates/is-there-histo...
https://www.reasonablefaith.org/writings/scholarly-writings/...
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/historical-evidence-for...
[+] [-] bambax|3 years ago|reply
I don't think one flows from the other. It could be argued that since the death rate is 100%, nothing really matters. Once dead, we are not going to miss the life not lived. Growing old is a sure way to have regrets.
[+] [-] mathogre|3 years ago|reply
I loved this essay, saved it even. It's how I've lived my life for all of the days since our daughter's birth. I'm reluctant to say it's how I lived all of the years before that, as I wasn't as aware of time and of my mortality. That said, I had a sense my average life would be 75 years, and privately celebrated my 37.5 year birthday.
Paul Graham has at least two essays related to this: http://paulgraham.com/vb.html http://paulgraham.com/kids.html
For me, I consider my life as a book. There's a chapter where I would read the Wizard of Oz books to our daughter most nights. We went through the set of 15 books three times, and then it stopped. There's a chapter where I was doing fashion photography as a hobby for eight years. Me?! Yes! I even had two fashion shoots in Manhattan. There are many chapters of me working as a mathemagician, working on air traffic control R&D projects, one where I had to simulate stratospheric balloon trajectories and balloon control and navigation logic. I also had to learn a lot about stratospheric weather, which our in-house meteorologists had almost no experience.
I take essays like this and the two PG essays, and realize I have the chance to live a little more. This afternoon I'll be at the library while our daughter is working from home. I'll be continuing the writing of a story, may work on the migration from Freemind to Freeplane so that I can return to my personal work on the Traveling Salesman Problem. I'll grill dinner tonight for the family, will attend an in-person luncheon on Saturday, have an on-line chat with some folks in Berkeley Sunday night (I'm outside DC.)
The clock is ticking, the sand is flowing through the sandglass (I love that from Tom Scocca's essay!). The meaning of life is what we produce and what we create in the limited time we have. It's our mortality that establishes the context for meaning; it's what we do that is the actual meaning.
[+] [-] alex_young|3 years ago|reply
My grandfather on my father’s side was born in 1906. He was 35 when my father was born in 1941.
My father was 38 when I entered this world in 1979.
I was 41 in 2020 when my son was born. Fortunately we were able to have some semblance of an 80th birthday for his grandfather last year in the midst of this pandemic.
If my son has a child as late in life as I have, there’s no telling if I’ll get to meet them, simply because of life expectancy.