[reverend_gonzo]

Sounds like a forever aloner.

I know multiple tall, classically good looking men who, while they can can get dates, can not maintain them because they have zero relationship skills, and I know just as many short men who have a relationship whenever they want.

While height might be an early filter, it is by no means the only source of attraction. Men would do well to build the rest of their personalities to stand themselves out rather than complain about something they have no control over.

[aortega]

>Sounds like a forever aloner.

This social disqualification is the reason the truth remains hidden. I'm only 5'9 and have a family, but this was way before social networks and online dating. The world is different now.

>I know

Yes I know many data points that fall outside the curve too. But I'm talking about the curve.

[reverend_gonzo]

I’m 5’8”, Asian, married to an American, and have a family, and I got all this after social networks and tinder, et al came along.

[FooBarWidget]

Well ok but all the relationship skills in the world can't help you if you can't get past that initial filter.

[withinboredom]

Confidence gets you past any initial filter (not to be confused with arrogance or assertiveness — be respectful).

Once you get serious, it’s the bigger filters you need to worry about IME.

My then new girlfriend’s friend asked me out of nowhere: “what’s a derivative?” And my answer was “investing or calculus?” Apparently that was a filter for my wife when she dated. She wanted smart men who weren’t just faking it, wouldn’t just start talking about things because they knew something about it, etc. Her and her friend had that simple question. I was basically the first guy to pass it. Hell, I even had some basic filters, like going on a road trip together. Eventually, got married, made babies, and travel around the world. I got lucky — met her semi-randomly on the beach through mutual friends. Neither one of us were looking for a relationship at the time.

</anecdata>

[scythe]

>Men would do well to build the rest of their personalities to stand themselves out rather than complain about something they have no control over.

Are you saying that he's missing out on lots of opportunities for self-improvement in the two minutes or less it took to write that comment? It's not wrong for people to complain about things that negatively affect them, and it's not mutually exclusive with trying to fix the problem. There is really no justification for the insistence that short men must not complain at all.

[guskel]

Yes, there’s this kind of hidden assumption that these men aren’t trying, that they haven’t done every obvious thing already.

[reverend_gonzo]

If you are complaining about anything, then yes, that energy is better spent elsewhere.