[blacksignal]

Yes. Abusers often claim to be the victim and turn people against their target. And abusers will often provoke victims, complicating the situation.

> A few times in my life I've known people who tried to control me

And you are aware of a red flag.

Another good tool -- narcissists (other manipulators, abusers) will use fear, obligation, and guilt to control people -- FOG. If you find yourself feeling those emotions around / because of certain people, investigate carefully as to why.